by (@hallekiefer)

Morrissey Slams “Anorexic” Kate Middleton Over Nurse’s Death, And 5 Other Bizarro Moz Feuds

Morrissey Attacks Kate Middleton Over Nurse Suicide
Just when we had imagined Kate Middleton couldn’t feel worse, between the constantly vomiting and the tragic suicide of the nurse pranked by those Australian DJs attempting to contact Middleton, Morrissey steps in to rake her over the coals. Yes, the singer Morrissey. Why? Aw, it’s sweet you still think these things have to have a why. “It wasn’t because of two DJs in Australia that this woman took her own life — it was the pressure around her,” the singer told New Zealand’s 3News, declaring that Kate “feels no shame about the death of this woman. She’s saying nothing about the death of this poor woman. The arrogance of the British royals is absolutely staggering.” Whaaaaaa?

If that wasn’t harsh enough, Moz also accused Kate of having an eating disorder. “Does she have a health condition?” he mused. “Is it anorexia or is it pregnancy? I mean, morning sickness already? So much hoo haw and then suddenly as bright as a button as soon as this poor woman dies she’s out of hospital? It doesn’t ring true.” While we’ll see if we can dig up some more info on the MEDICAL DEGREE Morrissey must have obtained recently, we gather five of the most off-the-wall feuds Moz has gotten into in recent history. It ain’t like this is a new thing.

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Shakira Attacked By Sea Lion, And 10 Other Weird Celeb Vs. Wild Encounters

Terror never looked as adorable as when Shakira was attacked by a sea lion over the weekend! The hip-shaking singer was touring Cape Town, South Africa, when she spotted the cute but not-so-cuddly creature nearby. As she bent down to say hello, the animal apparently thought that her cell phone was a fish and sprang out of the water with its teeth out. The sea lion took a bite out of her hand before her brother was able to come to her rescue and pull the two apart. Both humans suffered scraped hands and arms. No word on the sea lion’s condition, but we imagine it’s doing all right.

Shakira posted pictures of her injuries to her Facebook in an album hilariously titled “Special Report: Attacked by a Sea Lion.” In the captions she dramatically recounts the incident in vivid detail. “One of [the sea lions] jumped out of the water so fast and impetuously that it got about one foot away from me, looked me in the eye, roared in fury and tried to bite me,” she wrote. She made sure to thank her brother “Super Tony” for saving her life and “taking me away from the beast.”

Sure, the whole ordeal seems like a freak accident, but animals tango with famous people much more often than you might think. Check out the gallery below for more celebrities who have survived awkward run-ins with wildlife!

View Photo Gallery

[Photo: Shakira's Twitter]

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Robert Pattinson Fully Morphs Into Morrissey At Eclipse Premiere

robert-pattinson-is-morrissey

Robert Pattinson and Morrissey: Separated at birth! Are we right or are we right? RPatzz has been vaguely reminding us of some God-like celebrity from another era. But we couldn’t put our finger on it — until now. The bouffant hair. The English charm. The pronounced jawline and the well-endowed eyebrows. Come on! They’re practically twins. Rob’s  purple suede jacket at the Twilight Eclipse premiere reminded us of the album cover for Morrissey’s  You Are The Quarry (note the similar duds). Is RPatzz intentionally modeling himself after Morrissey?

Either way, Rob’s striking similarity to Morrissey leads us to two predictions.  1) That Robert Pattinson’s career will be extended at least two decades by the fandom of Mexicans, probably thanks to his near pompadour.  And 2) That Robert Pattinson is a shoo-in to play Morrissey in what we’re guessing is an inevitable Hollywood biopic. More pics after the jump …

robmorissey3

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Katy Perry And Russell Brand Sitting In A Tree…K.I.S.S.I.N.G

We cracked a joke a couple of months back about Katy Perry and Russell Brand being a hot new celebrity couple for us to gossip over, after they locked lips for Russ’ new film. But – OMG – it seems we were right on the money, as the two sexy stars are banging each other and have been since the MTV VMAs!

“Katy knows his bad boy reputation but could not resist – especially when Russell sent a love poem with a note attached saying, ‘Please send me a poem back.’ Russell killed himself laughing when Katy sent a photo of her boobs with the word ‘poem’ scrawled across them,” claims The Sun.

Ahhh, the stuff great romance is made of, naturally. The couple have just returned from a trip to Thailand, which Katy gushed about on her Twitter, saying, “After a week in magical Thailand I’m ready 2 face the real world again. Been schooled on Morrissey, Oscar Wilde & Peter Sellers… inspired.” Hmmm, sounds remarkably like a touch of Brand to us! [Photos: , Getty Images]