As we gear up for the release of Rock of Ages this week, we’ve been looking back at some of the trends the nostalgic musical so lovingly celebrates, like Malin Akerman’s sexy rocker-chick look and Mary J. Blige’s flashy jumpsuits. More than any one fashion, the movie reminds us of one big trend the late ’80s and early ’90s were famous for: the groupie. Not just the girls who flashed their goods from the audience or hung around by the tour buses, either — there were plenty of high-profile ladies who were eager for a backstage pass. And some of them got a lot more than a private concert in the bargain.
As we gathered this list of our favorite celebrity-rocker pairs, from Cher and Gene Simmons to Tommy Lee and Heather Locklear, one other thing became very evident: All of these couples seemed to share taste in makeup, tight pants, big hair and baggy blazers. It even looks like Eddie Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli got their hair cut together. And maybe Rod Stewart and Rachel Hunter could swap blazers, while Axl Rose and Stephanie Seymour traded acid-washed jeans. We’re not sure what exactly Melissa Gilbert and Billy Idol had in common, but, yeah, that happened!
[Photos: Getty Images]
What is it with this aging baby-boomer rock stars and not being able to keep it in their trousers? Not only have we been subjected to the hideous sight of now-divorced Ronnie Wood stepping out with his infant girlfriend, Rod Stewart keeps letting us know that he’s still at it.
We already know that Rod has promised his wife Penny Lancaster one more baby (bringing his tally up to eight), but really, do we need you to explain, “Yes, we’re trying – we actually tried last night!” live on British TV ? NO WE DO NOT. Ew and ew again. [Photo: FilmMagic]
Fans who wish Rod Stewart would quit it with the cover albums and write something original again, forget it—the 64-year-old singer is far too old for that crap. “Songwriting was never something that came naturally to me,” he told Spinner while promoting his new album, Soulbook. “I can’t imagine that I’ll ever put pen to paper ever again. I’m having too much fun doing these.”
Come on, Rod. “Maggie May”? “Every Picture Tells A Story”? “D’Ya Think I’m Sexy”? Those sound plenty natural to us. What doesn’t sound as natural is the sexagenarian’s desire to keep bringing babies to the world. Alistair, his 4-year-old son with wife Penny Lancaster, may be an older brother before (hopefully not) too long. “One more, then I’m going to close the office,” Rod told Entertainment Tonight. With his first of seven (and counting!) children now 45 years old, this rooster could be a great-grandfather in some circles. Ever thought of being a Viagra pitchman, Rod?
Here at Scandalist, we’ve touched on the difficult existence of Rock Daughters. Born into fame, wealth and privilege without having done anything themselves to earn those perks, they embark upon half-assed careers, turn up at parties, date boys just like daddy and generally show us all that it’s not particularly helpful for your personal well-being to have an aging rock star as a father. We do feel for them, but mostly, they irritate the hell out of us, especially when they take their kit off on the cover of a magazine for no good reason at all.
Kimberly Stewart, Leah Wood and ARRGGGH Peaches flipping Geldof have now bared all on the front of British society mag Tatler because … well, we don’t actually know. Perhaps to demonstrate they have inherited some attention-seeking talent from their fathers Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood and Bob Geldof? Perhaps because they know without their famous DNA they’d never get within a hair’s breadth of a mag cover and are taking advantage of a lovely airbrushing opportunity? Whatevs. Admire the flashed flesh and then thank your lucky stars you don’t have to do this to feel validated.