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Lil’ Kim: Biggie’s Ghost Hates Notorious

Dancing With The Stars contestant Lil’ Kim has been bitching about her portrayal in the Biggie-biopic Notorious for a while, but don’t mistake that for personal offense. Her disappointment stems from the ex-boyfriend The Notorious B.I.G. himself, who contacts her regularly from the astral plane. Or so she told Rapradar.com:

I’m a very spiritual person and he’s come to me many of times in my dreams. But, I don’t think he’s happy at all, at all! Because Ms. Wallace doesn’t know Biggie at all and she barely knows Christopher, if you know what I mean. At all! And I was around. Even before he blew up so crazy, so I know how he felt about his mom. And Biggie was so much more than what they put him out to be in that movie. And to be honest with you, I know for a fact he’s not happy. He’s not satisfied at all. At all. And regardless of the fact, everybody who is involved in this movie, he has love for. Everybody. But at the end of the day, he knows who’s who and what’s what. Believe that.

Her “spiritual connection with Biggie” also tells her not to work with Junior M.A.F.I.A. member Lil’ Cease after he testified against her in her perjury trial. “Biggie said ‘Don’t look back. Forget Cease, forget all of them because they going to be sorry.’ Cause what they did was wrong and he knows it.” Did Biggie advise her on the jumpsuit she wore to dinner in Hollywood last night? That’s some borderline cameltoe action.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Related Scandalist Content: Lil’ Kim Jailed For Perjury

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5 Reasons George Bush Should Be On Dancing With The Stars

According to Page Six, would-be First Lady Cindy McCain was offered a chance to compete on the next season of Dancing With The Stars. She was thrilled, but hubby/Senator John McCain put his foot down, because it’s always about him. But with Barack Obama taking office on Tuesday, there’s an obvious replacement for Ms. McCain: President George W. Bush! Here are some reasons why.

  • Laura will love it.
  • It’s not like his approval ratings could get any worse.
  • Dancing on TV as the economy collapses has to be more fun than avoiding subpoenas while the world collapses. More poetic, too.
  • A publisher might actually want to put out his memoirs.
  • Dude is a dancing fool. Check out the gallery for some of the departing President’s greatest steps.

[Photo: AFP]

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Cloris Leachman Is Scaring Dancing With The Stars

You might be laughing at Cloris Leachman‘s surprising stamina on Dancing With The Stars, but insiders on the show are tired of her shtick and scared the Oscar winner’s shenanigans are going to capsize the show. According to a source for the Chicago Sun-Times, “There are deep concerns that people are going to tune out, thinking this has become a big joke and not the serious though entertaining dance competition it’s supposed to be…People joked it must be a whole lot of CBS, NBC andFox executives getting everyone they know to vote for Cloris—to try and wreck the show.”

Whatevs! The problem is an inversion of what Fox deals with almost every year on American Idol. Questionably talented cutiepies like John Stevens, Sanjaya and Jason Castro lasted well past their sell-by date because execs couldn’t get young girls to stop voting for them. Now CBS, with its phalanx of elderly viewers, has to deal with a bloc of seniors (and rofl-hounds) who can’t get enough of this golden girl. Who cares if she’s pissing off Susan Lucci? Who cares if Toni Braxton was a better dancer? You can’t whine about a “serious dance competition” when you bring on freakshows like Kim Kardashian. Live by the stuntcast, die by the stuntcast.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Lance Bass Wants To Do A Sitcom After Dancing With The Stars

Lance Bass, enjoying his return to the spotlight on Dancing With The Stars, told E! that he’d like to stay on TV after the music stops. “I’m enjoying being back in front of the camera. It’s nice. After this, I’m hoping to do a sitcom or something like that.”

Sure, a sitcom! Lance is kinda charming, kinda cute. Sounds like a great idea…until you remember what a brain-melting drip the N’Syncerator was in the failed romantic comedy On The Line. Then again, you probably didn’t see it.

Still awake? After watching that clip, it’s hard to imagine him playing anything other than a one-line extra on One Tree Hill (“lady, you dropped your phone!”). Maybe he was just badly miscast as a shy heterosexual romantic, and he’ll show off his acting talents yet. Or maybe he should stick to space travel.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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“Shy” Kim Kardashian Thrown Off Dancing With The Stars

Kim Kardashian got bounced off of Dancing With The Stars last night, despite scoring higher with the judges than Cloris Leachman (who you know has the senior vote locked). Adding to the awkwardness was that last night was the 5th anniversary of the death of her father, Robert Kardashian. “I just know he’s really happy and watching over me and I made him proud,” she said.

Kim’s asstastic dance to “Baby Got Back” didn’t just make angels weep, either. “This is me, without my sisters and without my family,” she explained to OK! “This was the perfect opportunity to show the real Kim. The real Kim is very shy and reserved and not outspoken and wild and crazy as everyone probably assumes.”

“Shy and reserved,” she says.

Shy and reserved.

[Photo: FilmMagic]