Is Amy Poehler moving on from Will Arnett with comedian Nick Kroll? Did Suri Cruise cut her own bangs? Plus, a new look at The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones.
Taylor Swift should learn to never pick fights with comedians because…she’ll never win, y’know? Just days after essentially telling Amy Poehler and Tina Fey that they have a special spot in hell for making a gentle gibe at her during the Golden Globes, Chelsea Handler is now jumping headlong into the frey. And she’s definitely not so gentle.
Our jaws collectively dropped yesterday when we read about Taylor Swift dissing both Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, in her April cover story in Vanity Fair. When asked about the jokes Tina and Amy made about Taylor at The Golden Globes, her answer to the magazine was, “You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people…Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’” Tina and Amy, going to hell? Hells to the no. But Amy’s responding to Taylor Swift’s in a manner that makes the songbird seem like a young, churlish child and we’re applauding, in awe, at the lovely Ms. Poehler for the hilarity and correctness of her answer. She responded to The Hollywood Reporter saying, “Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff.” And that’s how it’s done, son. Lighten up, Taylor.
[Photos via Vanity Fair/ Getty Images]
A fresh-faced Taylor Swift covers next month’s Vanity Fair. In the magazine, she apparently says “there’s a special place in Hell for women” like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, calls the media’s twisting of her dating life “sexist,” and refuses to dish on her relationship with Harry Styles, but authorizes a friend to gab all to the interviewer.
OK, last night’s Super Bowl featured plenty of the old-school ads: a woman in a bikini advertising the “topless” Fiat, guys doing ridiculous things to get good luck for their team, Bar Refaeli kissing a nerd (god, we still can’t get that sound out of our heads!). But as if to match Beyonce and her all-female band, the commercials seemed to be heavily tilted towards women (and the sensitive men we love), at least compared to most sporting events. (Which, duh, in 2011 and 2012, ladies made up 45 percent of the Super Bowl TV audience, so it’s about damn time!) We already had a hint that this was happening last week, when we got sneak peeks at the Seth Rogen/Paul Rudd-led Samsung ad and the “Space Babies” Kia commercial. Here are more of our favorites:
1. Calvin Klein “Concept”
This one wins the prize for most gratuitous use of a topless model, male or female. But we’d be lying if we said we didn’t rewind it at least once.
Let’s be real, shall we? Some of the Mean Girls actors have moved on to better things. Amanda Seyfried has literally blown up in the past six months (well, not literally), Rachel McAdams is firmly on the A-list and Tina Fey is now writing a Mean Girls musical with her musician husband Jeff Richmond, which is pretty much the pinnacle of human achievement. “I’m trying to develop it with my husband, who does all the music for 30 Rock and I think Paramount’s onboard,” Fey told E! at the SAG Awards. After gushing about her love of Mariah Carey, Tina added, “Maybe she can play Amy Poehler’s part in the musical.” Oh wow, Mariah singing “You Girls Keep Me Young” with a Chihuahua chewing up her bazooms would go perfectly with the show-stopping number “The Limit Does Not Exist” and the Unfriendly Black Hotties choir. (Yes, we’ve been writing this musical in our heads for the past eight years. What’s your point?)
Tonight’s Screen Actors Guild Awards were not as tipsy-casual as the Golden Globes nor as formal as the Oscars almost certainly will be, but they were still chock full of funny, touching quotes from everyone from Amy Poehler to Tina Fey to Dick Van Dyke. And while it technically was not “out loud” and therefore does not count as a quote, did everyone see Bryan Cranston‘s adorable daughter mouth “I love you, Dad” while he was onstage? After we finished dying over how cute that was, we rounded up all our favorite bon mots from tonight’s ceremony for your reading pleasure:
We feel like we just ate a hearty meal…of celebrity zingers! Much like the food that bares their name, sometimes zingers are all you need to feel satisfied. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler certainly know what we’re talking about, what with all the A-list riffing they served up at tonight’s Golden Globes. Of course, plenty of other celebs got in on the action, too: Sacha Baron Cohen ripped on Russell Crowe, Aziz Ansari cracked wise about Downton Abbey, Jodie Foster, um, went after Honey Boo Boo. Really. Seriously. If you like the sound of that, you’re going to love our 17 Best Golden Globes quotes (in addition to our 7 Best Zingers from the Golden Globes opener!):
Holy s—, you guys, can you believe it? Hilary Clinton’s husband just showed up to the Golden Globes! Kidding kidding, we mean Bill Rodham Clinton. OK, sorry, we stole both of those jokes from expert hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, but it’s still pretty cool that the former president showed up to introduce Steven Spielberg’s epic, Lincoln. Apparently the appearance was kept under serious Secret Service secrecy, and the entire auditorium rose to their feet when the former Commander In Chief took the stage. He praised both the film, which is up for Best Picture in…well, pretty much every award show ever, and the president for…you know, saving the union and all.
“President Lincoln’s struggle to abolish slavery reminds us that enduring progress is forged in a cauldron of both principle and compromise,” Clinton continued. “This brilliant film shows us how he did it, and gives us hope that we can do it again.” He also found more than a few comparisons between himself and ol’ Honest Abe when describing how he strived to get the 13th Amendment passed. “A tough fight to push a bill through a bitterly divided Congress. Winning it required the president to make a lot of unsavory deals that had nothing to do with the big issue. I wouldn’t know anything about that.” Lulz, so we’re laughing about his impeachment hearings now? Way to be, Prez!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Oh, it’s everything we dreamed and more. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler went full Gervais in the Golden Globes opener, ragging on everyone from James Franco to Quentin Tarantino to, well, Ricky Gervais. While we are bound to hear about 1,000 more excellent jibs before the end of the awards ceremony, here are the seven best zingers from tonight’s Golden Globes opener: