You already listen to him 24/7 and dose your clothes in his scent: isn’t it only that you get to have Justin Bieber on your TV as well? ABC certainly thinks so. According to TV Guide, the network is currently developing a sitcom based on the Bieb’s life. Justin and his manager Scooter Braun would executive produce the show, which would largely depict “Bieber’s background before he got famous. The comedy is about a future pop star’s awkward teenage years and his unorthodox family.” This could actually be great. Have you seen Justin’s dad? Unorthodox is one word for it! Which then begs the question, who should star as the Biebers?
The holidays are a time to celebrate goodwill for all human kind. And that’s cool and all, but that stuff gets sort of old after a while. So now let’s take a minute and take a look at all famous folks who didn’t get the peace and harmony memo! We’ve assembled our list of the top 20 most brutal celebrity beat-downs of 2012. Join us in a chant of “Fight fight fight!” and check it out!
Rob Kardashian didn’t handle his heartbreak all that great following his split with Rita Ora. Instead of posting passive aggressive Facebook statuses like the rest of us, he went on an all-out Twitter assault against his former flame, claiming that she cheated on him with 20 dudes, and coining the obvious pun, “Rita Whora,” which became a trending topic soon after. #Revenge? #SmallVictories
Well, looks like this whole debacle worked itself out on its own! Miley Cyrus can replace Angus T. Jones on Two And A Half Men following his disparaging remarks about the show, and Angus T. Jones can accept Charlie Sheen‘s offer to appear on Anger Management. It’s perfect really, seeing as how (if we remember correctly) Angus T. Jones love utter raunch. Because there is no way on this spinning blue marble that Sheen’s new FX sitcom won’t be as dirty or dirtier than TAAHM.
Of course, Angus hasn’t accepted the informal offer…yet. “My former nephew is welcome at the Goodson Anger Management home anytime,” Charlie told ABC News today. Personally, we’re completely on board with this idea. It’s time for Jones to move on to his next project: a wholesome show in which Charlie Sheen offers life advice to a parade of characters grappling with boiling rage. It’s basically the next Touched By An Angel! After all, as HuffPo points out, this week’s Two And A Half Men featured Jones’ character contracting an STD from his girlfriend, a development he was excited about…because it proves he was having sex. Yikes. Maybe a college degree isn’t the worst life decision for you right now, Angus. It rarely is.
VH1’s very own Halle Kiefer called it yesterday: Miley Cyrus may become Two And A Half Men‘s newest “half man.” If you believe the latest reports from our friends over at Celebuzz, that is! Television insiders are telling the site that Miley is being courted to fill Angus T. Jones’ role on the long running series after he likely departs at the end of the season.
“There are talks to replace Angus and the perfect person would be Miley Cyrus,” says the source. “The episodes that she appeared on brought in the highest ratings of the season.” Miley appeared in two episodes last month as southern firecracker Missi, the daughter of Walter’s old friend. “When she was on set she was pleasant and very enjoyable to work with. She won everyone over. Now the whispers are growing louder. People involved in the show want Miley to replace Angus.”
Surprisingly absolutely no one, word came today that Angus T. Jones will “likely” be leaving Two And A Half Men after this season. It turns out, most people’s bosses don’t like when you publicly refer to your workplace as “filth” and encourage people to avoid it. It’s a lesson each employee must learn. Of course, Jones’ alleged departure is really only one sign that Two And A Half Men has run its course. In case you needed more persuading, consider the fact that…
Two and a Half Men star Angus T. Jones‘apology statement released yesterday makes it pretty clear that someone quite firmly reminded him that no matter what new opinions he holds of his hit sitcom, that “filth” pays him a whole lot of money. Money he could probably put to some good Christian use, if he chooses. Hence the contrite words: “I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed.”
But if exec producer Chuck Lorre and company decide to send Angus the way of his former onscreen uncle Charlie Sheen, that doesn’t have to mean the end of the 19-year-old’s career. He could join these five other celebrities who turned their born-again Christianity into brand-new gigs:
1. Stephen Baldwin
The Baldwin bro visited Good Morning America today and voiced his support and sympathy for Jones, as someone who’s experienced a backlash against his outspoken ways (seriously, this guy called Obama a “cultural terrorist” once). “As a Christian, I had a casting director come up to me two years ago and say, ‘I’m really sorry because I’ve brought your name up in castings for a while now and they all just kind of look at me like I’m crazy,” he said. Now, he’s gone “full-blown faith-based,” acting in Christian themed movies like Loving the Bad Man, about a woman who forgives her rapist. Ick. And then he’ll be back on Celebrity Apprentice soon, which is full-blown … something else.
Not a problem, dude! If Reba McEntire commanded us to stop watching Malibu Country, we’d fight her to the death for our right to quality television. If the half man from Two And A Half Men doesn’t want us to watch him cut up with Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer…well, we’ll at least listen to what he has to say. “If you watch Two and a Half Men, please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I’m on Two and a Half Men and I don’t want to be on it. Please stop watching it and filling your head with filth,” Angus T. Jones says in a video testimony for the Forerunner Christian Church.” He later adds “You cannot be a true God-fearing person and be on a television show like that. I know I can’t. I’m not OK with what I’m learning, what the bible says and being on that television show.” The quotes start at around the 7:30 mark, so maybe the show’s producer Chuck Lorre hasn’t heard it yet? We usually don’t watch any videos longer than three minutes, so it’s a distinct possibility. If he has, boy, those vanity cards are about to get sassy!
In Angus’s defense…he’s exactly not wrong about TAAHM being pervy. For example, there was an episode of Two And A Half Men where Charlie Sheen sleeps with an entire coven of witches. No, seriously. In fact, anyone who has seen the show will tell you it’s beyond raunchy. The only question is, is it raunchy enough for Angus T. Jones to give up his $350,000 an episode?
Meeeeeeeeen! The reports are in, and Ashton Kutcher’s Two And A Half Men character is allegedly named Walden Schmidt, “an Internet billionaire with a broken heart.” Schmidt reportedly scoops up the Men house in the first two episodes, following Charlie Harper’s funeral during the season premiere. So what we’re hearing is that there is a teeny, tiny chance Walden could be the reincarnation of Charlie Sheen‘s perverted uncle. Just let us live our dream a little longer, okay?
CBS entertainment president Nina Tassler announced the character this week, though did not announce why a despondent fat cat would hang out with some whiner and his adolescent son after buying their house. Maybe Walden adopts Angus T. Jones as his son and keeps Jon Cryer as some sort of obnoxious coat rack? It all sounds a little odd, but then again, who would have guessed a socially awkward mad scientist neighbor would work on a sitcom, and yet Family Matters pulled it off for nine glorious seasons. Meeeeeeeeen!
Does Ashton Kutcher have the “best job in show business“? Judging by his smile, we’re leaning towards yes, he really thinks he does. Now that he’s officially part of Two and a Half Men, Ashton posed with his new co-stars, Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones for the first time at The CBS 2011 Upfront party in New York yesterday. Now imagine them in tuxedos with a red curtain behind then, singing “men, men, men men, manly men” and voila! We have a show! And if you think this is all very staid and poserish, take a look after the jump at the photo Ashton tweeted of them behind all that stagey smiling! Read more…
Late last year, Angus T. Jones became the highest paid kid on TV after negotiating a $300,000-per-episode contract with Two And A Half Men. Then Charlie Sheen had to go and call producer Chuck Lorre an “ugly whore,” leaving the fate of the show up in the air. We’ve seen plenty of Jon Cryer since Charlie’s meltdown, but 17-year-old Angus—spotted outside Washington-Dulles Airport yesterday—has so far kept out of the fray. Maybe he wants to make sure both sides would give him another crack at that paycheck.
Even if Two And A Half Men doesn’t return, residuals from eight seasons of the international smash should leave Angus set for life. And hey! Now Angus gets to cut his hair into something more fashionable than that grody helmet enjoyed by his character Jake Harper. See pics of the child star recluse in the gallery below.