It’s not every day you get to make a list that includes Martha Stewart, Bam Margera and Rose McGowan. That’s why we’re happier than usual that we decided to put together this little post calling these folks to task for daring to leave their houses — and even prancing across red carpets — in such ridiculous getups. Of course, some of these celebrities (Hugh Jackman, Adam Sandler) are simply thumbing their noses at the fact that we care what they wear to walk the dog or get the paper. Others on this list — Lea Michele, Meagan Good, Carrie Underwood — were suffering from a case of trying too hard. Which famous person failed the hardest this week? We placed them in what we think is ascending order of awfulness in the gallery above, but now it’s your turn to vote:
Hey, remember those two things you hoped to God you would never have to see? Well, it turns out they both exist and could at any point surface on the Internet. They’re like Internet Jaws: you never know when they’re going to strike! First of this evening’s nightmares is a nude vintage sex photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger that surfaced in Penthouse founder Bob Guiccione‘s storage locker, a locker which we’re betting smells so, so, so gross. The New York Post reports that the pic involved the former governor “performing a sex act,” a description we find terrifying in its vagueness. There’s no word as to whether the storage unit’s new owner plans to publish the image, but considering he bought Bob Guccione’s storage unit after the famed pornographer went bankrupt, we’re assuming it’s only a matter of time until we know even more about a man we know way too much about…
Almost as sad as Ryan Dunn’s death is seeing an incredibly distraught Bam Margera talk about his friend in the press. Even sadder is that is the fact that Dunn’s car accident wasn’t his first. In fact, he had a tendency toward reckless driving. “He flipped me in a car eight times at the same exact spot in 1996,” a visibly upset Margera said in an interview with E!. “Thank God I had my seat belt on, because Chris Raab put one on me, but my brother didn’t have one on. He flew 40 feet. Thank God he’s alive. But like, Dunn was always a maniac at driving.”
Despite being hurt by Roger Ebert’s tweets calling out Dunn for his drunk driving, Margera says he feels consoled by everyone who has reached out to him, including acquaintance Brad Pitt. “He has a goddamn Porche, and he drives fast.” Margera says of his late pal, before explaining,”He was my best f–king friend in the world. It’s been five days now and I can’t stop crying man. I just don’t think it should’ve been him.”
[Photo: E! Online]
Ryan Dunn‘s untimely death yesterday has come as a shock to many. He was involved in a fatal car crash, along with his passenger, after losing control of his Porsche 911. What everyone’s talking about now is how Ryan was drinking before the crash (reports conflict as to how much was alcohol was consumed). Dunn posed for pictures outside the bar he was drinking at with friends, and he did look quite flushed. Reports confirm that he had at least three beers and three shots while there. The autopsy’s currently underway to see whether booze had anything to do with crash or not, but either way, the internet’s already buzzing with both condolences and debate.
One controversy that’s brewing at the moment is due to a tweet by caustic critic Roger Ebert: “Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive.” The backlash from the comment has been tremendous and none more so than from Dunn’s friend and co-star Bam Margera who tweeted in return, “I just lost my best friend, I have been crying hysterical for a full day and piece of s— roger ebert has the gall to put in his 2 cents”. Bam followed up with another tweet that raged, “About a jackass drunk driving and his is one, f— you! Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat f—ing mouth!”
Ebert’s been silent since then tweeting about other subjects. The only time he touched upon the subject again was when PerezHilton went at him in a post, to which Ebert wrote back with, “Perez Hilton’s readers agree with me and not with Perez about my tweet on Ryan Dunn. He drank, he drove, 2 people died.” We aren’t fans of Ebert, FYI. We are completely against drinking and driving (and have lost friends because of it), but the fact is that there’s a time and a place to comment. Sounding like a “jackass” right after someone has passed away isn’t the way to go. R.I.P Ryan.
[Photo: Getty Images]
TMZ is reporting that Jackass star Ryan Dunn died in a car crash late last night in West Goshen Township, PA. Dunn tweeted a photo of himself drinking earlier that night, though it is unclear who was driving the vehicle. Aside from his notorious exploits on the hit MTV show and movie series—which included visiting a doctor with a toy car up his butt—Dunn starred in Bam Margera‘s film Haggard, and just began hosting Proving Ground on G4, a show devoted to testing whether video game tricks could be replicated in real life. He was also set to make the pot comedy Mustache Riders with Bam Margera, Johnny Knoxville and Willie Nelson. Dunn turned 34 earlier this month.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Brace yourself for a dose of Jackass at this year’s Critics’ Choice Movie Awards, airing live Friday at 9/8c. Featuring the likes of Matt Damon, Quentin Tarantino, Julianne Moore, Gov. Schwarzenegger and many A-list attendees, this star-studded show will be shaken up a bit as Johnny Knoxville and gang parody movies up for Best Picture. In addition to Inception (ever wonder about the lovely ladies who haunt Steve-O‘s dreams?), the crew is setting its sights on The Social Network, Black Swan and 127 Hours.
Spoiler alert: Bam Margera to get naked for The Social Network! Tune in at 8/7c for the Critics’ Choice Awards red carpet extravaganza, hosted by La La Vazquez and Tim Kash. Maroon 5 is this year’s house band.
Be VH1’s Quick Critic and win a year of free movies from Redbox
See Critics’ Choice Awards Stars, Get Their Red Carpet Looks
If you have a wiener, you need’ll to be seated or lying down to read this post, as you will probably slip into unconsciousness during the first paragraph. In a Vanity Fair article about his new movie Jackass 3-D, Johnny Knoxville admits that years of penis-punishing pranks have caused some damage in his bathing suit area….like, serious damage. Says Knoxville of his meat and two veg, “It’s just like a dog’s chew-toy down there. I broke my penis about three years ago trying to backflip a motorcycle. So that did’t help its appearance, although it’s pretty cute. I still have to use a catheter twice a day and it’s been three years now.” TWO TIMES A DAY?!? We just left our bodies and floated up onto the ceiling, that’s how painful that sounds.
Explains Knoxville, “No, I can piss without it. I just have to keep the scar tissue from constricting down there. It looks like a sock that’s lost its elasticity. You know the kind that droop around your ankles? That’s what my penis looks like.” Whose socks look like that?!?! Throw those socks away and get new ones! We have to say though, the Jackass guys have always been the only TV and film stars we think really earn their money. Are Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise risking a torn scrotum or life-long catheter use with their movies’ stunts? No. No, they are not.
However, as Jackass 3D co-star Bam Margera points out, junk-related stunts aren’t all bad: “I think the only one who came out ahead in this movie is Chris (Pontius). He did a skit called “The Helicockter” where he tied a string to his penis and the other end was attached to a remote-control helicopter. It ripped off so hard, he said he gained a few inches.” Do not do that at home, you guys. No woman in the world cares about size that much.
[Photo: Getty Images]
The main thing we learned from the Jackass 3D premiere is that life needs more Rip Taylor. The former game show regular and friend to the Jackass family is killing us in his pictures from the film’s L.A. premiere last night, but he’s just one of many interesting characters who walked the red carpet. Rather than just throw together a regular gallery from the film’s premiere, we decided to put together a Top Ten Most Insane Looks list because there was a hot cup of crazy being passed around last night, and everyone was drinking from it. In addition to the regular Jackass crew, Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera and Steve-O, we got some old MTV favorites, some total randos and some people we can’t explain. See for yourself.
[Photos: /Splash News Online]
Jackass star Bam Margera was taken to the ICU at Chester County hospital after being beaten black and blue with a bat, by 59-year-old Elizabeth Ray. The assault went down early in the morning outside Margera’s bar in West Chester, PA. Apparently there was a fight of some sorts, which is when Ray allegedly smacked him in the back of the head with a baseball bat. Ouch! She’s being charged on five counts by the police.
TMZ spoke to Steve-O who said Margera had been released from intensive care. He added, “I think he’s gonna be okay.” Let’s hope that for once Steve-O is right about something.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Now this is how you shut down a rumor. Tattoo artist/plastic surgery victim Kat Von D ran to her Twitter when gossip about her public parading with married pal Bam Margera hit a fever peak following Wednesday’s NYLON party, with Page Six claiming “they were practically swallowing each other. They were right by the deejay booth, licking each other” (mmm, inky!). “Contrary to silly rumors, Bam Margera and I are NOT dating,” D tweeted. “I’m currently in a relationship w Nikki [Sixx]. Hope that clears things up.” “There’s absolutely no romantic relationship,” seconded Bam’s rep.
So you’d think the Motley Crue bassist would be canoodling with Kat on the red carpet that night at the 2nd Annual Revolver Golden God Awards, right? Nope, it was Bam Margera who took a spot by her side, laying a big hug on his alleged mistress for the clicking cameras. Guess we gossipmongers can just turn away now.
See photos from the metalfest in the gallery below.
[Photo: Getty Images]