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Brandon Davis Arrested For Cocaine Possession After Punching Comedian

Socialite Brandon Davis (brother of Celebrity Rehab‘s Jason Davis) is best known for calling Lindsay Lohan a “firecrotch” and (allegedly) tweeting that ex Mischa Barton was one of the “fattest people on the planet.” So forgive us if we’re not shocked that the guy was picked up by police in Hollywood last night. According to TMZ, Brandon—already 86′ed from one club, punched comedian Ben Gleib (a Chelsea Lately regular) at the Roosevelt Hotel. Cops reportedly found cocaine on Davis, and promptly scooted him off to Hollywood PD, where he hopefully remains. The champ is charged with battery and possession of a controlled substance, though we’re sure a helicopter filled with money has already been sent to remedy the situation.

[Photos: Getty Images/WireImage]

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Brandon Davis Claims He Would Never Mock Mischa’s Weight

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It’s time once again for “Updates On A Sweaty Rich Dude,” the feature in which we bring you the latest news on oil heir, starf*cker, and sweat-machine extraordinaire, Brandon Davis. When last we met our hero, he had taken to his Twitter account to attack Mischa Barton, who he called “one of the fattest people on the planet.” Davis denies authoring the Tweet, however, telling InTouch, “I would never say anything nasty about Mischa, especially about her weight. I am pissed that someone stole my identity and started Twittering things.”

The author of the Twitter account, if it is not actually Davis, also denied writing it , placing blame on that other guy we know and love for his classy ways, Rick Solomon, who is a starf*cker himself, and star of several sex tapes and short-lived marriages. A later tweet explains “With rick soloman. He stole my phone and wrote the mischa comment. Would never speak that way about an ex.” So…not only does Davis himself deny having a Twitter account, but his identity was stolen by someone with a conscience (who hangs out with dirtbags like Solomon) who also feels bad about the Mischa insults? This all seems very shady, but we’ve come to expect nothing less from Davis.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Mischa Barton “One Of The Fattest People On The Planet,” Says Ex

Mischa Barton & Brandon Davis

Brandon Davis isn’t going to lose his reputation as a giant tool any time soon. The oil heir, best known for repeatedly calling Lindsay Lohan a “firecrotch” in 2006, attended Wednesday’s NYLON party in LA, where Miss Lohan just happened to partying with his ex, Mischa Barton. An argument reportedly broke out over god-knows-what, forcing Mr. Davis to take to his Twitter in a desperate attempt to strike back.

Just saw [overweight comedian] @jeffbeacher and I thought it was Mischa/ OMG just realized my ex turned into 1 of the fattest people on the planet. I’m gonna start dating plus sized models. Not! Mischa the Hefer.

That’s “heifer,” tool, and no one’s impressed. Davis has deleted the “fattest people” tweet, but left up the Jeff Beacher crack and later asked Kim Kardashian if her perfume smells like “stinky Armenian food.” Too bad they can’t make cars that run on hatorade. See photos of “1 of the fattest people on the planet” from the NYLON party in the gallery below.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Mischa Feuds With Pixie Over New Crush

Mischa Barton has swapped falling out with the LA party crew of 2005 for doing more of the same with the London hipster crew of 2009. Instead of feuding with former BFF Nicole Richie over Joel Madden, she’s falling out with party sibling Pixie Geldof over edgy British comic Noel Fielding.

“Pixie is really into Noel, but Mischa’s taken a real shine to him too. And when Mischa arrived in town she got Noel’s attention as well, and seemed to be loving it. She finds him a charming guy… At the weekend they all ended up in Mischa’s hotel together. Neither of the girls was happy about it but neither was prepared to leave him to the other one,” says a friend.

Granted, with his penchant for skintight leggings, quirky looks and diminutive status, Noel’s hardly your typical ladykiller. But compared to Mischa’s former conquests – Cisco Adler, Luke Pritchard and human oilslick Brandon Davis – Noel looks like quite the catch to us. Well, it’s all relative… [Photos: Splash News Online, ]

by (@katespencer)

Is Avril Getting Too Friendly With Brandon Davis?

Apparently Avril Lavigne has been pissing her husband Deryck Whibley off lately, due to her new BFF-ship with greasy, stinky ex-boyfriend to the stars, Brandon Davis. The Sum-41 rocker apparently texted Davis “Stay away from my wife,” after he learned the oil heir had escorted his wife to dinner. The meal might have been about business (Brandon is supposedly dealing art now), but tough guy Deryck doesn’t care, and we don’t blame him – the dude who called Lindsay Lohan “fire crotch” is not worth anyone’s time.

The latest rumor clashes with the other big Avril rumor of late – that the pseudo-punk is knocked up. We’re sure the singer is grateful for any and all chatter – her career isn’t getting her any attention, so why not tabloid fodder?  [Photos: GettyImages]