No, you haven’t woken up back in 2010, Groundhog Day-style. Your deja vu is more than just deja vu! The suspicious package of white powder sent to CBS yesterday was not only intended to scare Dancing With The Starsstar Bristol Palin, it was also the second package of white powder send for that exact purpose. The first threatening parcel was sent to frighten the reality star during her first appearance on the show two years ago. “This is what will happen to you if Bristol Palin stays on [the show],” a note attached to the most recent package declared. Well, consider us mind-boggled. We can barely get out of the house to buy stamps when we need them. How did two different people (or who knows? The same person multiple times?) think it reasonable to buy powder, drive to the post office and mail a threatening package to anyone, let alone Bristol Palin? It’s like we’re always screaming at our mom: people care about DWTS too much!
Fortunately for Sarah Palin‘s daughter, TMZ reports that the powder found on the package was harmless; authorities are currently “investigating the situation.” So, what’s sadder: if the most recent package was sent by the same person, or if it was sent by someone else? Haha, it’s a trick question! The answer is both! Hey, we just hope it wasn’t the guy who shot his TV in reaction to Bristol’s dance routine…
Last weekDancing With the Stars first All-Stars season said a not-so-shocking goodbye to Pamela Anderson and her sexy wriggle. Looks like the riffraff is disappearing quicker than usual, and everyone knows the competition is stiff. Let’s continue breaking down the good, the not-so-bad and the ugly from the dance floor and see if we can predict which DWTS alums stepped it up enough to stick around another week.
Gilles Marini & Peta Murgatroyd
Although it was Sabrina Bryan & Louis Van Amstel who scored the highest routine of the night by pulling the first 9 from the judges this season, Switched at Birth hottie Gilles Marini (don’t you dare mock my ABC Family programming obsession) showed a little more cleavage than his former Cheetah Girls competition. Man Boobs > Sparkly Lady Cleavage = Gilles Wins All The Points. Shirtlessness aside, his excited, high-kicking jive was made all the more impressive since he strained a thigh muscle practicing. Many thanks to ABC for conducting part of Gilles interview while he was pantsless lying on a physical therapy table. What say you, Bruno Tonioli? “You’ve got the coiff. You’ve got the cleavage. Let the good times roll!” Indeed. Score: 24.5/30
Dancing With the Stars premiered last night with all the overly spray-tanned faces, judge sniping and glitter we’ve come to expect and love over the past 15 seasons. And the first all-star season of the oft-humiliating franchise took the competition up a notch with winners, finalists and favorites of the past shimmying their way through a tougher scoring system. You know, since every alum is now an expert dancer (except Pamela Anderson, just saying). But no matter how hard everyone worked, someone has to go home tonight. So let’s break down the good, the not-so-bad and the ugly from the dance floor and see if we can predict which DWTS alum will be having the first last dance.
Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke
The Football Hall of Famer —”Twinkle Toes” to you DWTS fans — is back! The Season 3 winner closed the premiere episode with a cha-cha that placed him and Cheryl at the top of the leader board. Even Len, who had been particularly reluctant to throw out praise all night said their performance was, “the last dance of the evening and the best.” Score: 24.5/30 Read more…
Dancing With The Stars has announced the line-up for this fall’s all-star season, and they’ve got all your favs! And, well, a lot of your not-so favs! The celebs signed on for some fancy footwork include Joey Fatone, Gilles Marini, Bristol Palin, Pamela Anderson, Kelly Monaco, Shawn Johnson, Kirstie Alley, Helio Castroneves, Drew Lachey, Emmitt Smith and Apolo Ohno. Sadly, George Clonney’s lady Stacy Keibler won’t be returning for another round, but maybe you can just picture Joey Fatone in a plunging sequined number? You’re already doing it, so why not keep it going?
she told a Television Critics Association panel today. Thanks, Yahweh! Our question is: are there any names you are already dying to see back on the dance floor? Alternatively, anyone you’d rather see dance their way out of the studio, into a cab and back to their own apartments where they won’t be bothering anyone come September 24? We know there’s at least one; we can sense your eyes rolling.
Look out, world. Levi Johnston has spawned another child. Are we ready for this? We think not. TMZ is reporting that his new babymamma is Sunny Oglesby, a 20-year-old schoolteacher from his hometown of Wasilla, Alaska. You know who else is from there, right? Bristol Palin — his other babymamma. Levi’s not going to rest until he knocks up the entire town, is he?
The word from sources is that Sunny is currently not even three months pregnant and isn’t showing yet. You think the Palins will be there for the baby shower? We think not, since Sarah Palin isn’t exactly his biggest fan. Levi’s also been telling folks that they’ve made it very difficult for him to visit his and Bristol’s son, Tripp. Does anyone know if Levi pays any child support? Is he involved financially in his son’s life? Sunny should definitely be asking those questions right about now! And maybe should look into birth control for the future.
Just in case you live in Wasilla and were planning to get yourself the hell out because of this news, call off the moving vans. Levi Johnston is not running for Mayor. It was around this time last year that we spoke of Levi’s ambitions for candidacy. Also because he was planning a “docu-soap” around it, and his people even released a statement that read, “The docu-soap will follow the ever controversial, headline making, matinee idol handsome, father of one as he embarks on a run for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska.”
One of the many people who thought that was the worst idea since, well, dating Levi, was babymammaÃ‚Â Bristol Palin. She said, “It is an important position and I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t think he knows what he is getting himself into. He has to move to the city limits and get his GED before he can actually run. If he wants to continue his education, thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s great.” We don’t know if he’s planning any of those things because his attorney, Rex Butler, has said Levi is “too busy to run” in the upcoming election. Apparently, Johnston has a book and a tour planned next month. May we just repeat that again — “too busy to run”. We don’t even have any comebacks for that one, because it’s that ludicrous.
We just alerted NASA that they might be seeing a few unidentified flying objects shooting past the moon in a few moments. Those’ll be the eyebrows that flew off our foreheads upon reading Bristol Palin’s plastic surgery denial. “I had corrective jaw surgery,” Palin tells US Magazine about her new slimmer face and more prominent jaw. “It’s not plastic surgery. Yes. It improved the way I look, but this surgery was necessary for medical reasons…so my jaw and teeth could properly realign…I don’t obsess over my face.” Funny how only celebrities seem to require procedures that make them better looking, while the rest of us end up with weird scars. It defies the law of statistics, is all.
Personally, when we think jaw surgery, we think the “Kanye-West-car-accident, jaw-wired-shut-while-you-sip-pancakes-through-a-straw” kind, not the glossy nubbin on the end of Palin’s head. But what do we know? We aren’t highly paid L.A. doctors. Raves Bristol, “I am absolutely thrilled with the results. I look older, more mature, and don’t have as much of a chubby little baby face!” How convenient that she needed major hottification surgery right before the new Bristol Palin reality show started airing. Really, someone should do a study on this; it should be in a peer-reviewed medical journal.
We’re onto your game, Bristol Palin. Today we find out that Bristol Palin landed a reality show and it just so happens that it features her living with former That’s So Raven star Kyle Massey. We know Massey and Palin were buddies on Dancing With The Stars, but this seems a little suspiciously sitcom-y to us. A very specific sitcom, if you get our drift.
The new BIO show reportedly focuses on Bristol’s move to L.A. with her son Tripp, where she’ll bunk with Massey and his brother, Zoey 101‘s Chris Massey. Palin will be working with a small charity during her reality show stint, though with all the money Bristol’s pregnancy prevention work has made her, she should have plenty of work-free hours to get into some wacky highjinks. Hmmm, hanging out with Disney stars, making crazy money, losing so much weight she has a new face…sounds exactly like what our girl Raven-Symoné would do. Next thing you know, Bristol will gain psychic abilities that she will comically misinterpret, thus making her predictions come true. BIO has yet to announce what the show will be called, but if they dare include the words “that’s” and/or “so” in the title, we are going to straight-up lose our minds.
There’s a reason why Donald Trump looks so glum in this picture, while John Legend and girlfriend Chrissy Teigen look like they’re having a ball. Celebrities flocked to Washington D.C on Saturday for the White House Correspondent’s Association dinner and as usual the glam factor was pretty high. But the best part of the evening was that Trump was trumped by President Barack Obama and later, by Seth Meyers, who made some pointed jokes at The Donald’s expense in response to the “birther” debate.
Obama cracked some big ones like, “I know he’s taken some flack lately, but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate issue to rest than Donald, and that’s because he can get back to the issues that matter, like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?” Meyers rubbed it in even further with jibes like, “Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic, because a fox often appears on Donald Trump’s head.” Ouch. Donald’s massive ego must’ve taken an even more massive beating!
Now you see why Trump looks dyspeptic, right? But even he can’t deny that the dinner was an amazing success. The ladies looked gorgeous in full-length gowns (except Michelle Trachtenberg who needs to take it easy on the goth lipstick). Mila Kunis, Anna Paquin, America Ferrera, Rosario Dawson and a very pregnant Alyssa Milano hit it out of the ball park. Paula Abdul looked pretty fantastic too—surprise surprise. The men repp’d it with the likes of Ian Somerhalder, Chris Colfer and Chace Crawford looking sharp in their suits. This also happens to be the nightScarlett Johansson and Sean Penn made their hand-holding public. Page Six reports that Scarlett and Sean were all over each other at dinner with a source revealing, “She plopped down in his lap, and they were kissing.” We may not have pictures of their make-out sesh, but we do have plenty of the rest of the stars in all their finery. Check them out in our gallery below.
Levi Johnston was the most famous political baby-daddy in all the land for a while there (until John Edwards came in and stole his thunder, that rascal). Johnston’s relationship with Bristol Palin has been over for a while now and Bristol has been quietly dating an Alaskan pipeline worker for a few months, so you’d think Johnston should be un-famous by this point, but he just keep milking these fifteen minutes of fame.
Johnston just announced that he’s writing a tell-all book about the Palin family called Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs. Subtle! His publisher explains that it will be “a fascinating tale of a misunderstood boy figuring out how to be a man and a father after being thrust into the spotlight and subsequent media circus at a very young and vulnerable age.” When we think of a guy famous for having unprotected sex and also famous for posing in Playgirl, we don’t think “vulnerable” but that’s just us. Johnston himself says “I want to tell the truth about my close relationship with the Palins… my sense of Sarah, and my perplexing fall from grace.” Yeah, it’s real perplexing when your fall from grace comes after you become famous for having unprotected sex and for posing in Playgirl. Sorry, we’re a little hung up on that.
Still, no one moves books like Sarah Palin, whether you love her or you hate her, so it’s probably going to be a bestseller.