by (@JordanRuntagh)

Christian Magazine Compares Simon Cowell To Jesus

In news that will no doubt make Simon Cowell’s Christmas, a Christian group is comparing him to Jesus Christ. Yes, that Jesus Christ. Maybe they thought X-Factor was short for Christ-Factor. Re, the official magazine of the Assemblies of God church, claims that Cowell’s no-nonsense tough-love style is very similar to the way Christ would have behaved. We can only imagine how this makes Paula Abdul feel.

“Jesus, the one we think of as being meek and mild, gentle and loving and full of compassion, had the ability to talk tough,” explains the faith based periodical. “Some of his words were upsetting and difficult to swallow – just like Cowell’s – but he spoke truth and doesn’t the truth hurt sometimes? Simon Cowell takes, learns from them and grows in the process, and there are numerous stories in the Bible of people who do the same.” Wow, well thank goodness he’s using his powers for good! Think of all the gifts Simon has given us: Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, and Susan Boyle, just to name a few. But then again, he did spring William Hung on an unsuspecting world. The Simon works in cruel and mysterious ways.

[Photo: Images]

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Carrie Underwood And Mike Fisher Wed Secretly

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Now that Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher are married, does this mean there’s another Carrie Fisher in Hollywood? Are American Idol nerds and Star Wars geeks going to get thoroughly confused by who’s who? Doubtful. However, the new Mr. and Mrs. Fisher did elude the paps and the general public long enough to pull off a super secret wedding ceremony in Georgia full of celebs.

The pair married at the Ritz-Carlton Reynolds Plantation in Greensboro, Georgia in front of 250 guests who reportedly didn’t know where the ceremony would be until the last minute. The couple released a statement to People saying, “We could not feel more blessed to have found each other and to have shared this day with our friends and family that mean so much to us!” and signed it “Mike and Carrie Fisher.”

Country stars Tim McGraw and Faith Hill were in attendance as were Idol Judges Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul, who gave incoherent musical feedback to the wedding band (we wish). Congratulations to the new couple on the nuptials and their ability to keep all the details on lockdown for so long!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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CMT Awards Bring Dazzle To Nashville

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If anything, the CMT Awards proved last night that country music’s profile has grown – to the point where Snooki and The Situation even want to be a part of it.  Carrie Underwood was the biggest winner of the night, taking home the Performance of the Year and Video of the Year awards, but the real story was the fashion, and who was wearing it.

Over the past few years, celebs like Nicole Kidman have started to ingratiate themselves into the country scene (it helps to marry Keith Urban), but last night was a who’s who of Hollywood celebs that felt more like a movie premiere than a night at the Opry. Check out our gallery featuring Kidman, Luke Wilson (perhaps to test his AT&T service in Nashville), Snooki and so many others. Of course our favorite look of the night was Kenan Thompson as Reba McIntyre with Reba McIntyre. He looks good in green, what can we say?

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[Photos: Getty Images]