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Charlie Sheen Sues Porn Star/Hooker For Extortion, Making Him Look Bad

Shame on you for suggesting Charlie Sheen is a drug-addled nutball, you hooker he hired! While Capri Anderson told Good Morning America that Charlie snorted, attacked and shouted racial epithets at her and everything else in his Manhattan hotel room last month, his lawyers were submitting a one million dollar lawsuit against “publicity hungry scam-artist” (hey, a career upgrade!), accusing her of “an attempted shakedown and extortion of the internationally known actor.” Known for being a drug-addled nutball, but hey.

According to his sexy, sexy legal papers, “after a consensual encounter with Sheen in the Plaza Hotel on the evening of October 25, 2010, [Anderson] decided this was her chance to become rich and famous…threatening that if he did not pay her at least one million dollars she would go to (i) the Aspen District Attorney with her false allegations and (ii) seek to embarrass him and attempt to damage his career by going to the media with her false tale.” She’s also accused of stealing his $165,000 watch—even if he won’t admit to going apeshit when he realized it was missing. Poor bro! First his wives backstab him, and now the hookers are getting in on it, too! At least he can wipe away his tears with piles of sitcom money.

[Photos: /Getty]

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Charlie Sheen’s Lawyer Calls Stripper Capri Anderson A Liar, No One Comes Out Good

The three types of people we are least likely to trust in the world are strippers, lawyers and Charlie Sheen, which is why it’s so hard to take the following story seriously.  Capri Anderson, the stripper that was found naked and cowering in a closet after Sheen’s Plaza Hotel rampage is claiming that Sheen threatened to kill her, but Sheen’s lawyer says she’s full of baloney.

In an interview with Good Morning America, Anderson described the night in question, saying “I was sitting on the edge of a coffee table, and he was serving us both drinks, and he was snorting something. There was a little bit of romance, if you will.” Oh, we will! After that, Anderson says “When I became really uncomfortable is when he put his hands around my neck.” The violence escalates and Sheen started throwing things at Anderson, and she says “He was calling me a whore a lot. And he was yelling things like, you F-ing bitch. If you don’t come out here, I’m going to kill you. If I get in there, you’re going to be sorry. If I get in there, you … whore, you whore, whore.”  She says Sheen offered her $20,000 for her silence, which she clearly did not accept, however, Anderson is miffed that she never received the $3,500 she was promised for services rendered on that night and she has filed a criminal complaint against Sheen. The lesson here being don’t call someone a whore if you don’t plan to pay them for their services.

But Sheen’s lawyer Yale Galanter says these claims are lies. Galanter says “Ms. Capri never made any allegation of wrongful conduct on the part of Mr. Sheen the night of the incident. She has posted on her website that she was ‘fine’ after the incident but if you wanted to see more of her enter the web site for money. We will defend this lawsuit vigorously and will never pay her a dime. These allegations against Mr. Sheen are completely false, and are a blatant attempt to cash in on his celebrity. Whether Sheen settles up with Anderson remains to be seen, but you’d think that $3,500 is pocket change to him, since he’s the highest paid actor on TV.

This just goes to show that when you work for Charlie Sheen, no one wins.

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Homophobic Dude Would Work With The Racist Dude, But Not The Cokehead

So…This makes no sense (or does it?). Isaiah Washington, who you’ll recall was fired from Grey’s Anatomy after an on-set scuffle where he used a gay slur against co-star T.R. Knight, has spoken out in defense of fellow hothead Mel Gibson. Racist-outburst-yelling, violent, girlfriend-hitting, Mel gets a pass in Washington’s eyes because he’s a “genius” who he would love to work with. In an interview with E! Online, Washington discussed his own controversial (some/we might say dickish) behavior and compared it to other celebs who have acted out more recently.

Washington said “I would still work with Mel Gibson! [Gibson's] a talented man! Come on, he came up with Apocalypto, man! I want to work with this guy. I’ve worked with Steven Seagal. He’s out of his mind. I mean, I’ve worked with Spike Lee for four films. I’ve worked with some people that you can say are right there teetering between genius and madness. So I don’t look at their personal stuff.” HOWEVER! There is one person for whom the personal does get in the way, and that’s Charlie Sheen. Says Washington, “I will say this on record: I’m not a fan of that behavior.” Ah. We see. Drug-and-stripper benders are reprehensible, but racism and violence are cool. (To be fair, Sheen has also been racist and violent, so maybe it’s just the super-sized quadruple whammy of it all that Washington disapproves of.) Guess this means no guest role for Washington on Two And A Half Men any time soon!

by (@missmuttoo)

Charlie Sheen Not Worried About His Recent Sex N’ Drugs Disaster

Charlie Sheen is responding to the whole cocaine/porn star/hotel trashing bender that’s kept him in the news for the last two weeks. He’s back at work on the Two and a Half Men set and clearly nothing fazes him, considering his take on his crazy-pants behavior. As always we’d like to insert our opinion on the actor’s mess of a life, so here are Charlie’s recent comments on the incident and our response.

Charlie Sheen: “I’m not panicking.”
Fablife:  Have you lost your damn mind?

CS: “A guy has one bad night and everyone goes insane, panics.”
FL:  Have you lost your damn mind?

CS: “If you have expensive taste you have to be prepared for expensive losses. It is what it is.”
FL:  Have you lost your damn mind?

This is how Charlie rolls. Hookers, porn stars, drugs, alcohol: it’s all good with him because he reckons he doesn’t have a problem. Confirmation that, yes, he’s lost his damn mind.

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If Charlie Sheen And Brooke Mueller Can’t Make It Last, Who Can?

Well, it’s official: Charlie Sheen has filed for divorce from Brooke Mueller. And here we thought that having despite his holding a knife to her throat, their separate stints in rehab, and his coke-fueled porn-star bender they might work things out. Sheen and Mueller reportedly signed divorce papers back in May, but Charlie only now has officially filed them. He is allegedly trying to keep things quiet, as he doesn’t want any dirty laundry aired on Mueller’s upcoming reality show (because, sigh, that’s apparently really happening).

More hilarious though is the fact that Sheen plans to seek joint custody of their twin sons, Max and Bob. Because there’s nothing like absolutely ruining your reputation on Tuesday and then trying to prove you’re a stable, decent parent on the following Monday. Mueller has filed a separate petition for primary custody. Ugh, we pity these poor kids, having these two as your only options for parents. Anyone opposed to gay marriage or adoption, please look no further than these two clowns as an example of why the straights are making a mockery of your cause. These two are the worst.

Under the current settlement, Sheen will pay $55,000 a month in child support in addition to a lump sum of nearly $2 million. So, you know, a week’s salary from Two And A Half Men.

by (@missmuttoo)

Charlie Sheen Still On A Sex-And-Drugs Rampage?

Clearly, the nine most insane aspects of Charlie Sheen‘s crazy bender aren’t closed chapters. After Sheen’s pornstar and cocaine fueled binge in New York last week you’d think he’d be keeping things low-key, but apparently the dude ain’t done. Back in L.A, Charlie’s continuing the sex n’ drugs scenario and sources tell Radar Online he’s not showing any signs of stopping.

Sheen going to rehab isn’t even on the agenda, says a source. “None of the people around him can ever convince him to go to rehab. Charlie will never listen to them,” the insider tells Radar Online. He feels like he’s the star, and they only have jobs or make a lot of money because of him. He thought about rehab at that point, but isn’t anymore. He was just on one of the worst benders in a long time. And when he gets like this, no one knows what will happen next.”

Of this new L.A rampage, another source has said, “Charlie’s cocaine use is out of control. The situation has gotten even worse. It’s been a non-stop party of drugs and hookers since Charlie got home.” Reports of prostitutes spending plenty of nights at his house are also doing the rounds. Tick tock, goes the train-wreck clock!

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Want To See An Animated Reenactment Of Charlie Sheen Going Berserk? Of Course You Do!

They give out Oscars for animated shorts, so let’s hope this one doesn’t get overlooked. The attention to details as animated Charlie Sheen destroys his hotel room is astonishing. The fire in his eyes! The suspenders with jean shorts that his hooker is wearing! The teddy bear covering his junk! It’s just the perfect piece of entertainment on this Thursday morning.

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The Nine Most Insane Things About This Charlie Sheen Mess

By now you know the basic details: Charlie Sheen was hospitalized for drinking and taking cocaine and then trashing his hotel room, all while a frightened hooker looked on and his ex-wife Denise Richards was staying feet away in another room in the same hotel suite. That’s pretty crazy stuff, but the crazy doesn’t end there. Here are the nine other things about this situation that are even more insane:

1. Sheen allegedly took the hooker to dinner earlier in the evening, with Denise and several other people.

2. Sheen also was reported to have slipped away to the bathroom with his hooker during dinner. Nothing says “I’m on good terms with my ex” like public hooker sex while your ex-wife eats her dinner roll.

3. The hooker is the one who called hotel security after Sheen passed out. Life & Style reports that she was naked and screaming while barricaded in a closet during the incident.

4. Richards and Sheen have been having an adorably girly week with kids Sam and Lola, taking them to Mary Poppins and the American Girl Place, but the most hilarious irony is that the suite the family has been staying in at The Plaza Hotel in the Eloise Suite, named for the girl in the Eloise children’s books. You know, Eloise. The little girl who wreaks havoc, destroys her bathroom, disrupts fancy parties in the hotel and all that? Seems fitting, actually.

5. Denise Richards’ bizarrely calm demeanor over the whole situation. At 4am, just two hours after 911 was called, Richards Tweeted “Good morning!! Getting ready .. Heading to do Howard Stern this am!! Hmm what could he possibly ask this time?!?!” Is she that used to Charlie’s behavior that she’s barely upset by what the father of her children is up to? While appearing on Stern’s show, she said that though the trip was “eventful”, everything was just “hunky dory”. Have we misjudged this woman? Is she actually one of the greatest actresses of our time?

6. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, it’s a key tool of PR reps everywhere. Just look at Sheen’s rep, who claims the actor “was taken to the hospital after an allergic reaction to medication.” Yes, of course. Medication. Maybe he mistakenly snorted one of his hooker’s antibiotics while she screamed for help.

7. Charlie was not arrested for trashing the hotel room (see photos here), nor was he charged for hiring a hooker or possessing cocaine. And he was given the choice to go to the police station or the hospital and he chose the hospital (who wouldn’t??). In addition, his probation – a result of his assault on Brooke Mueller – will not be revoked in Colorado. It’s so great when you can behave like an animal without punishment, isn’t it?

8. Rehab. Sheen reportedly attended rehab earlier in the year, but often denies that he needs it. And as for this time, Sheen appears to have no plans to go to rehab, at least not right away. He has millions of Two And A Half Men dollars to make, you know. Who is advising this guy? He’s the male Lindsay Lohan, but more violent and with more offspring who are going to need therapy. He needs help.

9. Sheen’s only statement, made via text message to RadarOnline about the incident, calls the reports in the media”overblown” but when asked to elaborate, he says “I know what went down and that’s where it will stay… under wraps.” No denials, no clarification…nice try.

It seems fitting that the most memorable role of Sheen’s in our opinion, is the junkie he played in the police station in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. He hasn’t changed a bit.

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by (@missmuttoo)

Shocker! Charlie Sheen Was Apparently Coked Up When Trashing Hotel Room

Welcome to the Charlie Sheen circus! It’s been in town since Sheen drunkenly trashed his hotel room, after which he was hospitalized. As if the trashing-while-trashed wasn’t bizarro enough, he flipped his lid when he thought the woman he bad brought back to his room had taken his wallet. And his kids were in the same hotel (The Plaza in New York) with his wife Denise Richards as they were all in to the city to watch Mary Poppins on Broadway. Classy, Sheen!

Denise also ended up accompanying him to the hospital, where a source says,”After that incident, a battery of tests were run on Sheen. He tested positive for cocaine. And he’s only been out of rehab for two months.” Nice “allergic reaction,” Charlie. That was the excuse his rep gave in the wake of his behavior. Denise, on the other hand, was on Howard Stern and commented, “It’s been a very eventful trip.”

The source also adds that the actor may be heading back to rehab saying, “He may do it as an out-patient, which is what he did last time.” Not that it helped.  “He’s been getting drunk,” said the insider. “He shouldn’t be drinking at all. He was wasted at a party a little while ago and a lot of people saw him. He even went home with a hot actress. Charlie hasn’t changed. He’s been partying like he did before he went to rehab.”

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Charlie Sheen Hospitalized After Drunkenly Trashing Hotel

Charlie Sheen has been hospitalized after drunkenly trashing his hotel room. No, that’s not a headline from 1988, it actually happened last night at 2am. Sheen has been in New York with his ex-wife Denise Richards and their daughters Sam and Lola doing family things like seeing Mary Poppins on Broadway and visiting the American Girl store, but apparently after picking out outfits for Kit Kittredge, he decided to go on a bender.

An unidentified woman that Sheen was seen with at the Plaza Hotel called 911 around 2am last night after the actor, who was drunk and naked, started throwing chairs around his hotel suite, destroying a chandelier in the room. Sheen flew off in a rage after his wallet and cell phone allegedly went missing. Sheen was described as “emotionally disturbed” and was accompanied to the hospital by Richards. In February, Sheen entered rehab after he assaulted wife Brooke Mueller. More details of his current drama are to come.