Oh come on, how many of us haven’t come into work late because we left Vegas an hour before following a drunken bender with porn star Bree Olson? Charlie Sheen just can’t catch a break. The Two And A Half Man star has had TMZ up his ass all morning, with the site anxiously announcing that he was still in Vegas a few hours before he was due on set. Chillax, dawgs! Charlie caught a plane, Charlie will be there, Charlie will make the millions—cuz that’s what Charlie do!
Unfortunately for Kid Charlemagne, the site says there will be “discussions” with the actor once he shows up for work. Considering Sheen got a pay increase after allegedly threatening then-wife Brooke Mueller with a knife, and saw little blowback for his drunken hotel rampage last November, we’re guessing these “discussions” will go along the lines of “Sir, which set of twins would you like to date in this week’s episode?”
What a wonderful thing it would be to not have a shameless bone in your body. He probably thinks he’s quite a rockstar, this Charlie Sheen character, who trashes hotel rooms and gets it on with porn stars and hookers. He’s got a new party posse now—a trio of porn stars who he’s living it up with in Las Vegas.Ã‚Â 23Ã‚Â years old porn princess Bree Olson is one of Charlie’s girls, and considered to be his main squeeze-of the-moment.
The question is…has everyone lost track of his crazy rehab-no rehab-maybe rehab rigmarole? We have. Having said that, this little escapade probably wasn’t the best idea. TMZ reports of photos of Charlie knocking back shots at the Palms Hotel in Vegas. He was apparently slamming Grey Goose shots repeatedly along with a lady friend (probably one of his trashy triad) and bitching about how the big guys at Two and a Half Men want him in rehab. Because, he clearly doesn’t have a problem right? 2010 and the years before have totally proved just how responsible and sober Charlie is.
Hollywood is just like Melrose Place: the dating pool is creepily incestuous and yet no one thinks it’s weird. For instance, just this week Denise Richards confirmed she’s dating Nikki Sixx. You’ll recall that Sixx was involved with Kat Von D for a while before (and after) she was involved with Jesse James, and Richards was involved with Richie Sambora after she divorced Charlie Sheen. Then Sambora got divorced from Heather Locklear, who was actually on Melrose Place. Crazy stuff.
Richards told TV host Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live that she’s seeing the MÃƒÂ¶tley CrÃƒÂ¼e rocker, saying “We’ve gone on a couple dates. The God’s honest truth is we’re taking it very slowly.” She then joked “He’s been my neighbor for years. I may have borrowed some sugar from him once or twice.” We’re really hoping that’s not a euphemism, so we’re not even going to go there. But hello, they’re actually neighbors?! This means our Melrose Place theory is even more realistic than even we first thought.
Apparently when Charlie Sheen scoffed “A guy has one bad night and everyone goes insane, panics,” he meant everyone but the NYPD. Earlier today, Charlie Sheen was cleared of criminal charges stemming from that October 25 hotel room trashing, when we all learned more than we wanted to about how Charlie conducts his personal life. Following the incident Sheen’s companion for the evening, porn star Capri Anderson, pressed charges against the actor, alleging that Sheen held her against her will on their room at the Plaza Hotel while on a drug-fueled rant. Or as Charlie might put it, “literally every Monday night.”
Sheen was also not charged at any point with cocaine use or ransacking his hotel room, despite the fact that he did so much of both. Sheen then went back to his role on Two And A Half Men, where he is allowed to interact with a child and be broadcast into millions of decent people’s homes. [Photo: Getty Images]
If you were wondering how Charlie Sheen would spend the one-year anniversary of his domestic dispute with estranged wife Brooke Mueller, wonder no longer. Denise Richards told Mario Lopez that she expects her ex-husband to spend the holidays with her and the kids. “He came over for Thanksgiving,” she said on Extra, “It’s definitely important for everyone to enjoy the holidays together. It’s great for the kids. I’m sure we’ll see him at Christmas, too.” Hey, it’s not like anyone else wants him around!
It’s hard to believe it’s been nearly a year since Charlie reportedly threatened Mueller with a knife in Aspen after one or both of them enjoyed a Christmastime coke binge, but Richards has a long history of forgiving—and forgetting—her ex-husband’s transgressions. After all, she was chilling down the hall when Charlie had his motel freakout. They were also spotted together at Disneyland when Charlie accepted his plea deal last Summer. You think she’d reconsider spending so much time with an abusive rehab perennial she once planned to testify against, but like the reality show says: it’s complicated.
Shame on you for suggesting Charlie Sheen is a drug-addled nutball, you hooker he hired! While Capri Anderson told Good Morning America that Charlie snorted, attacked and shouted racial epithets at her and everything else in his Manhattan hotel room last month, his lawyers were submitting a one million dollar lawsuit against “publicity hungry scam-artist” (hey, a career upgrade!), accusing her of “an attempted shakedown and extortion of the internationally known actor.” Known for being a drug-addled nutball, but hey.
According to his sexy, sexy legal papers, “after a consensual encounter with Sheen in the Plaza Hotel on the evening of October 25, 2010, [Anderson] decided this was her chance to become rich and famous…threatening that if he did not pay her at least one million dollars she would go to (i) the Aspen District Attorney with her false allegations and (ii) seek to embarrass him and attempt to damage his career by going to the media with her false tale.” She’s also accused of stealing his $165,000 watch—even if he won’t admit to going apeshit when he realized it was missing. Poor bro! First his wives backstab him, and now the hookers are getting in on it, too! At least he can wipe away his tears with piles of sitcom money.
The three types of people we are least likely to trust in the world are strippers, lawyers and Charlie Sheen, which is why it’s so hard to take the following story seriously.Ã‚Â Capri Anderson, the stripper that was found naked and cowering in a closet after Sheen’s Plaza Hotel rampage is claiming that Sheen threatened to kill her, but Sheen’s lawyer says she’s full of baloney.
In an interview with Good Morning America, Anderson described the night in question, saying “I was sitting on the edge of a coffee table, and he was serving us both drinks, and he was snorting something. There was a little bit of romance, if you will.” Oh, we will! After that, Anderson says “When I became really uncomfortable is when he put his hands around my neck.” The violence escalates and Sheen started throwing things at Anderson, and she says “He was calling me a whore a lot. And he was yelling things like, you F-ing bitch. If you don’t come out here, I’m going to kill you. If I get in there, you’re going to be sorry. If I get in there, you … whore, you whore, whore.”Ã‚Â She says Sheen offered her $20,000 for her silence, which she clearly did not accept, however, Anderson is miffed that she never received the $3,500 she was promised for services rendered on that night and she has filed a criminal complaint against Sheen. The lesson here being don’t call someone a whore if you don’t plan to pay them for their services.
But Sheen’s lawyer Yale Galanter says these claims are lies. Galanter says “Ms. Capri never made any allegation of wrongful conduct on the part of Mr. Sheen the night of the incident. She has posted on her website that she was ‘fine’ after the incident but if you wanted to see more of her enter the web site for money. We will defend this lawsuit vigorously and will never pay her a dime. These allegations against Mr. Sheen are completely false, and are a blatant attempt to cash in on his celebrity. Whether Sheen settles up with Anderson remains to be seen, but you’d think that $3,500 is pocket change to him, since he’s the highest paid actor on TV.
This just goes to show that when you work for Charlie Sheen, no one wins.
So…This makes no sense (or does it?). Isaiah Washington, who you’ll recall was fired from Grey’s Anatomy after an on-set scuffle where he used a gay slur against co-star T.R. Knight, has spoken out in defense of fellow hothead Mel Gibson. Racist-outburst-yelling, violent, girlfriend-hitting, Mel gets a pass in Washington’s eyes because he’s a “genius” who he would love to work with. In an interview with E! Online, Washington discussed his own controversial (some/we might say dickish) behavior and compared it to other celebs who have acted out more recently.
Washington said “I would still work with Mel Gibson! [Gibson's] a talented man! Come on, he came up with Apocalypto, man! I want to work with this guy. I’ve worked with Steven Seagal. He’s out of his mind. I mean, I’ve worked with Spike Lee for four films. I’ve worked with some people that you can say are right there teetering between genius and madness. So I don’t look at their personal stuff.” HOWEVER! There is one person for whom the personal does get in the way, and that’s Charlie Sheen. Says Washington, “I will say this on record: I’m not a fan of that behavior.” Ah. We see. Drug-and-stripper benders are reprehensible, but racism and violence are cool. (To be fair, Sheen has also been racist and violent, so maybe it’s just the super-sized quadruple whammy of it all that Washington disapproves of.) Guess this means no guest role for Washington on Two And A Half Men any time soon!
Charlie Sheen is responding to the whole cocaine/porn star/hotel trashing bender that’s kept him in the news for the last two weeks. He’s back at work on the Two and a Half Men set and clearly nothing fazes him, considering his take on his crazy-pants behavior. As always we’d like to insert our opinion on the actor’s mess of a life, so here are Charlie’s recent comments on the incident and our response.
Charlie Sheen: “IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m not panicking.”
Fablife: Ã‚Â Have you lost your damn mind?
CS: “A guy has one bad night and everyone goes insane, panics.”
FL: Ã‚Â Have you lost your damn mind?
CS: “If you have expensive taste you have to be prepared for expensive losses. It is what it is.”
FL: Ã‚Â Have you lost your damn mind?
This is how Charlie rolls. Hookers, porn stars, drugs, alcohol: it’s all good with him because he reckons he doesn’t have a problem. Confirmation that, yes, he’s lost his damn mind.
Well, it’s official: Charlie Sheen has filed for divorce from Brooke Mueller. And here we thought that having despite his holding a knife to her throat, their separate stints in rehab, and his coke-fueled porn-star bender they might work things out. Sheen and Mueller reportedly signed divorce papers back in May, but Charlie only now has officially filed them. He is allegedly trying to keep things quiet, as he doesn’t want any dirty laundry aired on Mueller’s upcoming reality show (because, sigh, that’s apparently really happening).
More hilarious though is the fact that Sheen plans to seek joint custody of their twin sons, Max and Bob. Because there’s nothing like absolutely ruining your reputation on Tuesday and then trying to prove you’re a stable, decent parent on the following Monday. Mueller has filed a separate petition for primary custody. Ugh, we pity these poor kids, having these two as your only options for parents. Anyone opposed to gay marriage or adoption, please look no further than these two clowns as an example of why the straights are making a mockery of your cause. These two are the worst.
Under the current settlement, Sheen will pay $55,000 a month in child support in addition to a lump sum of nearly $2 million. So, you know, a week’s salary from Two And A Half Men.