Hollywood is just like Melrose Place: the dating pool is creepily incestuous and yet no one thinks it’s weird. For instance, just this week Denise Richards confirmed she’s dating Nikki Sixx. You’ll recall that Sixx was involved with Kat Von D for a while before (and after) she was involved with Jesse James, and Richards was involved with Richie Sambora after she divorced Charlie Sheen. Then Sambora got divorced from Heather Locklear, who was actually on Melrose Place. Crazy stuff.
Richards told TV host Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live that she’s seeing the MÃƒÂ¶tley CrÃƒÂ¼e rocker, saying “We’ve gone on a couple dates. The God’s honest truth is we’re taking it very slowly.” She then joked “He’s been my neighbor for years. I may have borrowed some sugar from him once or twice.” We’re really hoping that’s not a euphemism, so we’re not even going to go there. But hello, they’re actually neighbors?! This means our Melrose Place theory is even more realistic than even we first thought.
Apparently when Charlie Sheen scoffed “A guy has one bad night and everyone goes insane, panics,” he meant everyone but the NYPD. Earlier today, Charlie Sheen was cleared of criminal charges stemming from that October 25 hotel room trashing, when we all learned more than we wanted to about how Charlie conducts his personal life. Following the incident Sheen’s companion for the evening, porn star Capri Anderson, pressed charges against the actor, alleging that Sheen held her against her will on their room at the Plaza Hotel while on a drug-fueled rant. Or as Charlie might put it, “literally every Monday night.”
Sheen was also not charged at any point with cocaine use or ransacking his hotel room, despite the fact that he did so much of both. Sheen then went back to his role on Two And A Half Men, where he is allowed to interact with a child and be broadcast into millions of decent people’s homes. [Photo: Getty Images]
If you were wondering how Charlie Sheen would spend the one-year anniversary of his domestic dispute with estranged wife Brooke Mueller, wonder no longer. Denise Richards told Mario Lopez that she expects her ex-husband to spend the holidays with her and the kids. “He came over for Thanksgiving,” she said on Extra, “It’s definitely important for everyone to enjoy the holidays together. It’s great for the kids. I’m sure we’ll see him at Christmas, too.” Hey, it’s not like anyone else wants him around!
It’s hard to believe it’s been nearly a year since Charlie reportedly threatened Mueller with a knife in Aspen after one or both of them enjoyed a Christmastime coke binge, but Richards has a long history of forgiving—and forgetting—her ex-husband’s transgressions. After all, she was chilling down the hall when Charlie had his motel freakout. They were also spotted together at Disneyland when Charlie accepted his plea deal last Summer. You think she’d reconsider spending so much time with an abusive rehab perennial she once planned to testify against, but like the reality show says: it’s complicated.
According to his sexy, sexy legal papers, “after a consensual encounter with Sheen in the Plaza Hotel on the evening of October 25, 2010, [Anderson] decided this was her chance to become rich and famous…threatening that if he did not pay her at least one million dollars she would go to (i) the Aspen District Attorney with her false allegations and (ii) seek to embarrass him and attempt to damage his career by going to the media with her false tale.” She’s also accused of stealing his $165,000 watch—even if he won’t admit to going apeshit when he realized it was missing. Poor bro! First his wives backstab him, and now the hookers are getting in on it, too! At least he can wipe away his tears with piles of sitcom money.
The three types of people we are least likely to trust in the world are strippers, lawyers and Charlie Sheen, which is why it’s so hard to take the following story seriously.Ã‚Â Capri Anderson, the stripper that was found naked and cowering in a closet after Sheen’s Plaza Hotel rampage is claiming that Sheen threatened to kill her, but Sheen’s lawyer says she’s full of baloney.
In an interview with Good Morning America, Anderson described the night in question, saying “I was sitting on the edge of a coffee table, and he was serving us both drinks, and he was snorting something. There was a little bit of romance, if you will.” Oh, we will! After that, Anderson says “When I became really uncomfortable is when he put his hands around my neck.” The violence escalates and Sheen started throwing things at Anderson, and she says “He was calling me a whore a lot. And he was yelling things like, you F-ing bitch. If you don’t come out here, I’m going to kill you. If I get in there, you’re going to be sorry. If I get in there, you … whore, you whore, whore.”Ã‚Â She says Sheen offered her $20,000 for her silence, which she clearly did not accept, however, Anderson is miffed that she never received the $3,500 she was promised for services rendered on that night and she has filed a criminal complaint against Sheen. The lesson here being don’t call someone a whore if you don’t plan to pay them for their services.
But Sheen’s lawyer Yale Galanter says these claims are lies. Galanter says “Ms. Capri never made any allegation of wrongful conduct on the part of Mr. Sheen the night of the incident. She has posted on her website that she was ‘fine’ after the incident but if you wanted to see more of her enter the web site for money. We will defend this lawsuit vigorously and will never pay her a dime. These allegations against Mr. Sheen are completely false, and are a blatant attempt to cash in on his celebrity. Whether Sheen settles up with Anderson remains to be seen, but you’d think that $3,500 is pocket change to him, since he’s the highest paid actor on TV.
This just goes to show that when you work for Charlie Sheen, no one wins.
So…This makes no sense (or does it?). Isaiah Washington, who you’ll recall was fired from Grey’s Anatomy after an on-set scuffle where he used a gay slur against co-star T.R. Knight, has spoken out in defense of fellow hothead Mel Gibson. Racist-outburst-yelling, violent, girlfriend-hitting, Mel gets a pass in Washington’s eyes because he’s a “genius” who he would love to work with. In an interview with E! Online, Washington discussed his own controversial (some/we might say dickish) behavior and compared it to other celebs who have acted out more recently.
Washington said “I would still work with Mel Gibson! [Gibson's] a talented man! Come on, he came up with Apocalypto, man! I want to work with this guy. I’ve worked with Steven Seagal. He’s out of his mind. I mean, I’ve worked with Spike Lee for four films. I’ve worked with some people that you can say are right there teetering between genius and madness. So I don’t look at their personal stuff.” HOWEVER! There is one person for whom the personal does get in the way, and that’s Charlie Sheen. Says Washington, “I will say this on record: I’m not a fan of that behavior.” Ah. We see. Drug-and-stripper benders are reprehensible, but racism and violence are cool. (To be fair, Sheen has also been racist and violent, so maybe it’s just the super-sized quadruple whammy of it all that Washington disapproves of.) Guess this means no guest role for Washington on Two And A Half Men any time soon!
Charlie Sheenis responding to the whole cocaine/porn star/hotel trashing bender that’s kept him in the news for the last two weeks. He’s back at work on the Two and a Half Men set and clearly nothing fazes him, considering his take on his crazy-pants behavior. As always we’d like to insert our opinion on the actor’s mess of a life, so here are Charlie’s recent comments on the incident and our response.
Charlie Sheen: “IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m not panicking.” Fablife: Ã‚Â Have you lost your damn mind?
CS: “A guy has one bad night and everyone goes insane, panics.” FL: Ã‚Â Have you lost your damn mind?
CS: “If you have expensive taste you have to be prepared for expensive losses. It is what it is.” FL: Ã‚Â Have you lost your damn mind?
This is how Charlie rolls. Hookers, porn stars, drugs, alcohol: it’s all good with him because he reckons he doesn’t have a problem. Confirmation that, yes, he’s lost his damn mind.
More hilarious though is the fact that Sheen plans to seek joint custody of their twin sons, Max and Bob. Because there’s nothing like absolutely ruining your reputation on Tuesday and then trying to prove you’re a stable, decent parent on the following Monday. Mueller has filed a separate petition for primary custody. Ugh, we pity these poor kids, having these two as your only options for parents. Anyone opposed to gay marriage or adoption, please look no further than these two clowns as an example of why the straights are making a mockery of your cause. These two are the worst.
Under the current settlement, Sheen will pay $55,000 a month in child support in addition to a lump sum of nearly $2 million. So, you know, a week’s salary from Two And A Half Men.
Sheen going to rehab isn’t even on the agenda, says a source. “None of the people around him can ever convince him to go to rehab.Ã‚Â Charlie will never listen to them,” the insider tells Radar Online. He feels like he’s the star, and they only have jobs or make a lot of money because of him.Ã‚Â He thought about rehab at that point, but isn’t anymore. He was just on one of the worst benders in a long time. And when he gets like this, no one knows what will happen next.”
Of this new L.A rampage, another source has said, “CharlieÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s cocaine use is out of control. The situation has gotten even worse. ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s been a non-stop party of drugs and hookers since Charlie got home.” Reports of prostitutes spending plenty of nights at his house are also doing the rounds. Tick tock, goes the train-wreck clock!
They give out Oscars for animated shorts, so let’s hope this one doesn’t get overlooked. The attention to details as animated Charlie Sheen destroys his hotel room is astonishing. The fire in his eyes! The suspenders with jean shorts that his hooker is wearing! The teddy bear covering his junk! It’s just the perfect piece of entertainment on this Thursday morning.