So the news from this morning that Bravo is planning to make a TV series sequel to the 1989 cult classic Heathers is being met with a whole lot of skepticism. The story’s supposed to pick up 20 years later when Veronica (Winona Ryder’s character) moves back to town with her daughter, who has to deal with “the Ashleys,” who happen to be the daughters of Heather Duke and Heather McNamara. It is hard not to picture this as messing with a classic. But we want to reserve judgment. After all, it could be the next Awkward.! And anyway, we should be happy today, at least, since this news means we can revel in some Heathers nostalgia! Everywhere we’ve looked, bloggers have been uttering our favorite quotes, from “F— me gently with a chainsaw” to “What is your damage?” I am now kicking myself for losing my list of the movie’s best lines, which I wrote down during the Christian Slater movie marathon I hosted at my house in 1991.
As it turns out, looking up quotes from the movie is way more fun that catching up with Ryder, Slater, Shannen Doherty and company, because now that we look back, this was the best work of their careers. Here’s what everyone’s been up to…
Before the stars were stars, they were normal people trying to make a living. Every penny they made was spent on rent and food, not stylists and clothing. That’s why it’s so awesome to see celebrity before-and-after shots: getting a glimpse of what J.Lo looked like with crazy eyebrows or when Alec Baldwin was just a sliver of his current self. We wanted to honor some of our finest actors and performers by going back in time—back to when no one could bother to get their clothes tailored, they were too cheap to use anything but boxed hair color, and the word “stylist” didn’t even exist in Hollywood. Some of these people are a victim of the era from whence they came, but others have no excuse. The important thing to remember: these people had a choice about how to dress, and these are the outfits they chose. The awkward, tragic outfits they chose.
While most of us would agree that it’s a stretch to still describe baseball as being Our National Pastime™, there’s little sense denying that every playoff baseball game played during the month of October is laden with the kind of dramatic tension that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention. This post, however, is not really about celebrating the magic and mystery of America’s most revered professional sport. Rather, it’s about the celebrities who trot themselves out to the pitcher’s mound before games to throw out the ceremonial first pitch.
First, the facts: Every single Major League Baseball team plays 81 home games during the course of the season. This means that the poor public relations department of each team has to come up with 81 different ways to get the crowd excited before a game. In some of baseball’s larger markets, teams draw upon their access to a range of different celebrities, a list that runs the gamut from Hollywood’s A-List to downtrodden reality television flameouts, to get their fans excited over a long and often monotonous season. So we here at TheFABLife thought you would get a kick out of seeing celebs of all magnitudes — most of whom are not exactly known for their athletic abilities — attempting to throw a baseball sixty feet and six inches. So, if you pardon the expression, who throws like a girl and who throws like someone who could be called up to The Show? Now’s the time to find out. Play ball!
Hard to believe, but someone’s trying to make a musical comedy out of Heathers, the ’80s cult smash about classic about a teenage killing spree. At a recent reading, Reefer Madness: The Musical stars Kristin Bell and Christian Campbell played Veronica and J.D., Winona Ryder and Christian Slater‘s breakout roles. Both seem a little old for the parts, but we can live with Kristin. Christian Campbell, though? Nuh uh. There’s only one Christian that’s going to play J.D. He may be the star of a failed NBC drama now, but Slater rocked Heathers so hard that he spent most of the next decade partying with the hottest actresses and models around despite flops like Mobsters and Kuffs. They better find a fresh unknown for the role, because no one famous could pump up the volume like Slater.
Check out the gallery to see Slater in his glory days, rolling with everyone from Kate Moss to Salma Hayek.
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