by (@shakeyourbeauty)

Please Don’t Call It A Comeback: ’80s Retreads That Sucked

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Remember when the bulk of movies were based on totally fresh, original concepts? Not so anymore, kids. In the past ten years, there’s been a full-on onslaught of ’80s remakes. From The Smurfs to RoboCop, moviemakers have stopped taking chances with interesting movies, in favor of mining hits from the past. We understand why, of course. What better way to get Generation X parents to take their kids to movies, than to lure them with childhood nostalgia?

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by (@hallekiefer)

Christopher Walken Reads Honey Boo Boo Script; Honey Boo Boo Achieves Total Cultural Dominance

“Not all that vajiggle jaggle.” And with that Christopher Walken becomes the last part of American culture to be taken over by Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. The Seven Psychopaths actor joins Colin Farrell and Sam Rockwell for an in-character reading for the show’s dialogue for Screen Junkies. “These are words,” Walken states. It’s not a question. Of course it’s not. He’d have to be a fool to be completely unfamiliar with Alana and her family, considering how all pervasive they are now. They’ve pretty much invaded every aspect of entertainment, like…

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by (@shalapitcher)

The Real Total Recall 1990 Vs. 2012 Question: Which Mind-Bending Cast Is Hotter?

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Colin Farrell in Total Recall

As is pretty inevitable with any remake, this week’s hot new release Total Recall is currently undergoing a million and a half comparisons to the 1990 original. Both movies, based on a Philip K. Dick story called “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale,” concern a man named Douglas Quaid who is plagued by disturbing nightmares and visits a service called Rekall that promises to improve your life by implanting new memories into your brain. Both movies also star an incredibly good-looking cast that make us look forward to a future in which everyone’s bodies will be perfectly toned. Since we’ve yet to catch the new flick, we here at VH1 Celebrity are going to tackle this comparison a little differently: by superficially comparing stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sharon Stone and Rachel Ticotin to Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel. Oh, and we haven’t forgotten baddies Ronny Cox and Bryan Cranston, and all-important three-breasted women Lycia Naff and Kaitlyn Neeb.

This could be your most important decision of the day, so examine these photos closely and then tell us…

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[Photos: Columbia Tristar Pictures]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Jessica Biel And Kate Beckinsale Have A Fashion Face-Off At The Total Recall Premiere

Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale at the 'Total Recall' premiere

The LA premiere of Total Recall showcased a face-off between two of the loveliest leading ladies in Hollywood: Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale! The two stars took very different approaches to their red carpet style and honestly, we’re not too sure how we feel about either of them. Jessica was undeniably pretty in pink, but something about the color coupled with the gown pushed the whole look dangerously into high school prom territory. On the other hand, Kate Beckinsale was anything but cutesy as she slithered past the paps in a scaly snake skin number that seemed borrowed from a corner of Lady Gaga’s wardrobe labeled “Not Quite Psychotic Enough.” Sorry ladies, but we might have to call this fashion face-off a draw and name Colin Farrell the winner! That’s just the way it goes sometimes. The premiere was also chock full of many other stars, including Breaking Bad duo Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, Sofia Bush, Audrina Patridge and more! So head on down to the gallery below and see who you think was the best dressed star of the night!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@missmuttoo)

The Total Recall Teaser Trailer Packs In The Hotness

This is what we get from the Total Recall teaser trailer. Colin Farrell is back to looking like the handsome scamp he used to look like before he decided to throw away his razor. Hallelujah! Explosions. Hardcore gun-cocking. Kate Beckinsale looking like a woman on a mission and just about to kick some serious ass. With impossibly lush hair, FYI. Then there’s Jessica Biel. Whose hair we can’t see because firstly, it’s tied in a bun and secondly, we see mere flashes of her.  Poor Jess. We’re guessing she’ll be as hot as the previous two, though, because this is Jessica Biel. She couldn’t look fugly if she tried. We also see her plummeting down in a car. More explosions! Dramatic music! Leaping! It’s all very exciting stuff. Our only questions is this — who gets saddled with the three boobs?

by (@hallekiefer)

Horrible Bosses Red Band Trailer: Even More Horrible Than You Imagined

These bosses are clearly not getting any better! The Horrible Bosses red band trailer is out, and if you were wondering how dark they were going to go with the film, the answer is: very. Between Jamie Foxx‘s character name reveals to surprise water sports to Charlie Day calling out Jennifer Aniston‘s character for being, well, a soulless sexual predator, the raunchier version makes the original Horrible Bosses trailer look like a walk in the park. Sure, it might have been a park crawling with monstrous people with awful combovers, but at least when you got home from the park no one had put down a tarp and peed on your loveseat. And that’s something, right?

by (@hallekiefer)

Jennifer Aniston Asks You To Open Up And Say ‘Ah’ For Horrible Bosses Trailer

We’re so used to Hollywood trying to sell us MTV Movie Award nominee Jennifer Aniston as the girl next door or career woman looking for love, we forgot about the roles that really let her shine: total creeps. Even Friends’ Rachel was more of a flinty jerk than anything Jen has touched on the big screen. As the Horrible Bosses trailer demonstrates, Aniston steals the show as a perverted dentist out to sexually harass the scrubs off her dental assistant. Co-starring with Jamie Foxx, Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and It’s Always Sunny‘s Charlie Day, Jen joins Kevin Spacey and a comb over-ed Colin Farrell to form a group of bosses you would kill to get away from…literally. Makes you think twice about getting all those wisdom teeth removed.


Colin Farrell Discusses His Little-Known Friendship With Elizabeth Taylor

Colin Farrell and Elizabeth Taylor struck up an unlikely friendship in the year before she died, and the two became so close that Farrell actually recited a poem at her funeral this weekend, and he was the only non-family member to participate in the service. When Farrell was asked how he became close to the Hollywood legend, he told Access Hollywood “How did we become friends? You know, the old story of boy meets girl, and boy pesters girl with too many phone calls at inappropriate hours of the night.”

“I was just lucky enough to become her friend in the last year and a half. I adore her… still.” Farrell added. The feeling was mutual, because Taylor swooned over Farrell in one of her last interviews (given to Kim Kardashian, of all people), published in Harper’s Bazaar. Taylor said Kardashian “I love Johnny Depp, and I love Colin Farrell—both brilliant, nuanced actors with great range.” Taylor also reportedly requested Farrell’s participation at her funeral, which was held at the Forest Lawn Cemetary near Los Angeles. Farrell said he felt “sad and honored” to participate in her memorial service.

[Photos: Getty Images]