Who stole the show from comedian Conan O’Brien at the White House Correspondents Dinner? Which big screen superhero wants to own a unicorn in real life? And will Pain & Gain beat Oblivion at the box office this weekend?
–by Meghan O’Keefe (@megsokay)
Superstar Justin Timberlake hosted Saturday Night Live last night for the fifth time, thus putting him in the elite “Five-Timers Club”. He also reunited with Lonely Island cohort Andy Samberg, impersonated Elton John, stood next to the Three Amigos, and brought us all down to Veganville.
Oh, and he sang two songs from his new album, too.
Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t seem to understand that she’s wayyy more famous that 99.9999999 percent of the humans on this planet. The fact that she still gets super pumped to meet people like Taylor Swift definitely adds to her insanely high levels of likability. She’s just like us, you guys! She totally doesn’t realize that most of these folks are probably even more excited to meet her, and sometimes the results are a little weird. Case in point: The time she fan-girled a little too hard over John Stamos and creeped him out.
Today has been blissfully free of disturbing Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart news. Radar insists that Kristen has been banned from the Cosmopolis red carpet, but that sounds pretty silly to us, since we’re pretty sure that is the last place on Earth she’d ever want to appear. Instead, we have the above video from last night’s Conan.
“I don’t know if you follow the news at all but there’s this actress, Kristen Stewart, OK. She goes by KStew,” Will Ferrell begins, on the verge of melodramatic tears. “And she had a boyfriend, right? Robert Patterson. He’s RPass. And she cheated on him. And they’re broken up. They’re not going to get back together ever. And what they had was so special, Conan. You don’t even know what they had. They were in love and she just threw it all away. I don’t know if there’s anything I could have done to prevent it. And … I don’t know what it means for the Twilight franchise. I just don’t know.”
“I’m sure it’s going to be fine,” Conan says, attempting to calm his guest.
“It’s not going to be fine! Ever! It’s never going to be fine. What they had was so special. You would never know! … She is a trampire!”
We find it rather funny ourselves, mostly due to our own Robsten fatigue. But what we really want to know is how you fans feel? Are you ready for this kind of comic relief after all the drama? Or do you just feel like this is another blow to the nature of your devotion? Sound off on Twitter or in the comments below.
Big win for Team Coco! Nina Dobrev was on Conan O’Brien‘s show last night, to build up today’s season finale of The Vampire Diaries. We were wondering why she chose to wear a pair of formal shorts for the interview, but as the episode unfolded, we figured out just why. It’s also directly related to why Conan himself said, “Best job in the world!” at the end of the segment. He actually got Nina to get down on her hands and knees to do a super-bendy yoga move called “The Scorpion” on the show!
Nina’s been practicing yoga for years, FYI. Best of all, she had to use Conan as a “human wall” to balance her legs on. And then used his knees to tuck her feet in as she bent them over, reminiscent of a scorpion’s tail. Not only did Conan look like he couldn’t believe his luck, but the expression on guest Joel McHale‘s face was priceless too, especially when Nina’s legs go shooting up. He couldn’t help but exclaim, “This is awesome.” It is awesome, guys, and it’s all in the video above. Her boyfriend, Ian Somerhalder is a lucky, lucky man.
We got some good news and bad news for you James Franco fans out there. The good news is, he made a sex tape. The bad news, it’s apparently pretty awful. During an appearance on Conan last night, the Rise of The Planet of the Apes star and renaissance man came clean about the one aspect of film he’s not so great at. “When I was young, it’s not like I went down to Van Nuys and tried to break into the porn industry,” he admitted. “I got a video camera and my girlfriend and I decided to film ourselves. And watched it back and said yeah, let’s never watch that again.” Although we’d kind of expect as much. If he can’t get the energy level up for hosting the dang Oscars, we can’t imagine his sex tape would be any better.
But the experience made him have a new reverence and respect for adult film stars. “Those people in porno’s are great performers,” says the Academy Award nominee. “They’re selling it to an audience!” He then went on to randomly mention his grandma in the next breath, for reasons we can only guess at. Damn it Franco, first rule of the porn industry: NEVER bring up Nanna.
[Photo: Getty Images]
If Ke$ha ever sees this video, so help the youth of America. If you happened to be watching Conan last night, you now know more than you ever thought you would about Olivia Wilde’s vagina tattoo preferences. While stopping by late night to plug her new film The Change-Up, Wilde recounted how her character ends up getting inked in an intimate area, leading her to describe “the best vagina tattoo I’ve ever seen.” Which is a topic we’re endlessly fascinated in, considering the ones we’ve seen are extremely underwhelming.
Despite the fact that we are 12-years-old and almost lost consciousness after hearing an A-lister say the words “pubic hair” on TV (“I am about to pass out,” Coco informs her. “Hold me for this part!”), the Cowboys And Aliens star describes the best lady ink she’s ever seen thusly: “A little man with a lawnmower, walking along! Isn’t that great?” Then Olivia acts it out. Olivia Wilde: one of the few celebrities who we actually like more the more we hear her talk. About vagina tattoos.
It takes a strong man to admit he’s wrong, but it takes an even stronger one to admit that he might have accidentally ripped off Jimmy Kimmel. Earlier today Conan O’Brien apologized for copying Jimmy Kimmel’s Rudolph video in a web-exclusive message he posted to his TeamCoco site. While both bits involved Sarah Palin gunning down the beloved Christmas icon, Coco’s video aired this past Wednesday and Jimmy’s video premiered two weeks ago. In all honesty, Conan could do a entire word-for-word reenactment of Wayne’s World and we wouldn’t care, but it is nice of him to clear the air.
Conan’s version of Rudolph’s untimely demise has since been removed from the show’s website, but Jimmy’s Kimmel Kartoon is still viewable online. What do you think? Is this case of unintentional plagiarism, or just a really easy joke? Given that former Governor Palin did shoot a reindeer on her reality show Sarah Palin’s Alaska, and has proudly talked about devouring delicious caribou and moose, we’re going to assume it’s the latter. More importantly, would Sarah Palin eat Rudolph if given the opportunity and/or proper ammunition? Our guess is: probably.
While chatting last night with Conan O’Brien, the Kardashians revealed the ultimate in secret beauty tips: slathering mayonnaise on your vagina! Explained Kourtney, “I told Khloe that I found her sex mask under my bed, that she’s been looking for, and then she wrote me back, ‘Oh my god, I found your jar of mayonnaise that you use on your vagina.’” It just gives it that extra zip! Said Kourtney, “People were like, what does mayonnaise on your vagina do? And we said it makes it shine like the top of the Chrysler Building.” Shine like a beacon of American progress, ladies!
Wet blanket Kim quickly stepped in, complaining, “Talking about putting mayonnaise on your thing is not appropriate,” which is pretty ironic coming from the one Kardashian who has shown her Miracle Whip to the entire world. Eventually the ladies admitted that it had all been one big Twitter-fueled joke. Oh yeah…we totally knew they were kidding. On a totally unrelated note, do you think Costco takes returns? And do you think we can return a half-used drum of Hellmann’s?
Conan O’Brien promised he would wear jeggings during his show last night, December, 2, 2010 and he followed through, to our horror. Check out his website for video of his jeggings monologue. He has left literally nothing to our imagination here.