We thought Courtney Love already wrote a tell-all; it was just published 140 characters at a time and lead to several different lawsuits. Luckily we were wrong and Courtney Love’s memoir is headed our way in Fall 2012, a fact her daughter Frances Bean is no doubt thrilled about. Plus it’s just in time for the Apocalypse! Coincidence? We hope so.
According to HarperCollins’ imprint William Morrow, the publisher putting out the as-yet untitled book, Courtney will team up with co-writer Anthony Bozza to reportedly “set the record straight” on everything from Courtney’s marriage to Kurt Cobain, her time with band Hole, her battle with drug addiction (a section on that alleged “Kelly Osbourne OD’ing incident” would be nice) and, with any luck, her role in Man on the Moon. Hey, it was a seriously unrated film, okay?
Take this as a reminder, kids, that Twitter is, in fact, real life, not some private repository for all your spare Jonah Hill jokes. The Hollywood Reporter writes today that Courtney Love’s Twitter defamation case has gotten the okay to move forward to trial. In case you’re asking yourself, “Now wait a minute, didn’t Courtney Love already have a defamation lawsuit?,” the answers to that question would be: yes, that one was brought by designer Dawn Simorangkir after Love called her a “aÃ¢â‚¬â€œwipe nasty lying nosebag thief” among other names online, and ugh.
As for this case, apparently Rhonda Holmes of Gordon & Holmes stumbled in front of Love’s Twitter blasts after her lawfirm declined to continue representing Love in a fraud case. “I was f—ing devastated (sic) when Rhonda J Holmes Esq of San Diego was bought off [Ã¢â‚¬Â¦],” Love allegedly tweeted. It turns out, publicly claiming your lawyer accepted bribes for any reason is frowned upon. Now that the judge has given the case’s main defamation claim the okay, Courtney is probably going to be back in court before you know it. Once she’s there, with any luck, someone will snatch that phone right out of her hand before she ends up tweeting down the rabbit hole again.
Luckily for two domestic workers named Miriam and Myriam, Courtney Love’s maid lawsuit ended today with a judge ordering the Hole singer to pay almost $36,000 to her two former house keepers in unpaid wages dating back several years. The women also deserve some kind of cleaning lady Purple Heart for even attempting to cleanse Courtney’s filth hut but we understand, it isn’t in the judges’ power to hand those out. We’ll start a letter-writing campaign to President Obama…now.
Today’s ruling is only the latest in a parade of legal charges leveled at the singer, including Courtney Love’s Twitter lawsuits. Yes, there is an “s” on the end of that suit. As for her former maids, Miriam will be paid $16,632.45 and Myriam $19,137.27, though we’re assuming this doesn’t include the cost of the biohazard suits, industrial-strength hoses or powerful solvents needs to scrub the Love House down. If the judge had only factored in the emotional cost and hours of intensive psycho therapy needed after seeing Courtney’s bathtub, these women would be taken care of for the rest of their lives.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
If you’ve ever wondered why some young actresses can’t seem to keep away from drugs and booze, the answer seems to be simple: they are calling for Courtney Love’s drug advice, like she’s some kind of ex-junkie Ann Landers! “For some reason, Kim Stewart also called me when Paris Hilton got pulled over for her last D.U.I. And Lindsay Lohan called me after she was arrested,” Love said in rambling interview for The Fix. “I told Lindsay to just get it together and trust the judge, and Lindsay’s father called me for advice every day. I’m not even that friendly with these girls. What am I, a junkie Auntie Mame?” Michael Lohan is calling every day? We thought he’d have enough know-how to run his own advice column: Dear Awful Dads.
Love also describes allegedly getting pills from Andy Dick and Winona Ryder, when not doing drugs in or off of Pamela Anderson‘s butt. “People still think that I’m the same sad skank I was in 2005,” Courtney laments. This all in addition to a lengthy description of how supposedly Courtney Love saved Kelly Osbourne’s s life. Now, would Emily Post know if you should flush all those Oxycotin down the toilet when the sheriff shows up?
[Photo: Splash News Online]
For those of you missing your daily dose of bizarre ever since Courtney Love quit Twitter, we present to you the next generation in online irrationality: Courtney Love’s VYou account. The Hole singer has already posted a video where Love attacks Kelly OsbourneÃ¢â‚¬Â¦whom she claims she saved from the brink of death on more than one occasion. “Kelly Osbourne and Joan Rivers called me a crackhead on the E! channel. Kelly knows I’m sober,” Courtney explains. “Kelly knows there’s no drugs allowed at my house. I think it’s really lame.” It’s not just the mean joke that irks Courtney, however: “This girl I know, Kelly Osbourne, I’ve saved her life twice. I’ve done CPR, I’ve put things in her boobs. [She was on] Oxycontin, cocaine, foaming at the mouth.” If it wasn’t for this video, we wouldn’t even know you had to put things in people’s boobs after they OD’ed. God bless you, social media platforms!
Given Osbourne’s rehab visits, we do agree that claiming someone looks an addict is like the pot calling the kettle super-high.Ã‚Â After declaring herself sober since October 2005, Love goes on to detail the massive amounts of drugs she takes, prescription and otherwise: Abilify, cocaine, a nice rosÃƒÂ©.Ã‚Â Courtney also mentions that Sharon Osbourne might think Love gave Jack Osbourne Oxycotin as a child. Can’t imagine why. Look Courtney, we’re sure Kelly didn’t mean to say you were a crackhead. She probably just meant you act like a crackhead. You know, ranting angrily in public, saying you don’t do drugs them listing all the drugs you do. That kind of thing. You’ll remember what it’s like when you make more videos. It’s like riding a bike…made out of craziness!
You guys, we just figured something out. Courtney Love, aging rock star and mother to teenager Frances Bean, is no different from most parents of a certain age. And by that we mean: she kinda doesn’t get the internet.
We first got a taste of this when she tweeted an almost-naked image of herself, and then quit Twitter over it, claiming she meant for the image to be sent to her boyfriend. #OOPS, but also #That’sAPrettyBigEffingMistake.
Now, Love is expressing some outrage over her Wikipedia page because she doesn’t think it reflects her accurately. She told Page Six “I just want what awards I got . . . who I [bleeped] — on the record — or who said nice things about [bleep ing] me. And how many hits I’ve had. And that’s it.” Do you think she knows she can go in there and edit that stuff herself? (Although we have never actually seen a Contents section that features a “Who She F*cked” chapter on someone’s page, but if that’s what the lady wants…) As for the awards and albums, well, that’s all in there. Looks like it’s up to Courtney and/or a very brave/well-informed moderator to add the other stuff. “Why?” is another question entirely.
Today in news we don’t quite believe-slash-attribute to the ravings of a mad woman, Courtney Love is claiming her daughter Frances Bean Cobain was offered the role of Bella Swan in Twilight, and that she was also offered the title role in Alice In Wonderland. Those are some amazing job offers for a girl who has never acted a day in her life.
Love told You Magazine “Frances is so beautiful, but she doesn’t want to be famous. She was offered the part of Bella in the Twilight movies, and Tim Burton wanted her for Alice in Wonderland. But she wants to go to college – she’s very good at graphic novels… Frances will be fine.” Well, we know Frances has a knack for drawing and in fact, it might fit in well with Tim Burton’s aesthetic, but that has nothing to do with her acting in two huge films. It’s great that Courtney’s offhanded remarks make it seem likeÃ‚Â Kristen Stewart was just sloppy seconds.Ã‚Â Love must have a grudge against Robsten because this isn’t the first time she’s insulted them – remember her beef with Robert Pattinson, when she said that he would be a “stupid” choice to play Kurt Cobain? One thing seems pretty clear after all this – she’s Team Jacob.
In a review of Hole‘s performance at Washington D.C.’s 9:30 Club, the Washington Post savaged Courtney Love who apparently turned in performance that’s legendary even by her standards.
The Post claims that throughout the entire show, Love’s assistant Lisa stood center stage filming Love on an iPhone, obstructing the audience’s view of the show. When the audience objected, Love replied “F*ck you, she’s with me.” She forgot the words to songs, played the same song twice and then she brought a fan on stage to asked her “Do you really like rock music? Because you’re African-American. That would be like me being into Lil Wayne.” So that’s awkward. Oh, and super racist. Seriously, WTF?
And the entire set was over three hours. We’re used to Courtney being crazy in public but we at least hope that she wouldn’t bring it so hard to her paying fans. For the full review check out the Post‘s Click Track blog.
Is it any wonder that Frances Bean Cobain got a restraining order against her mother last year? In a series of nearly-nude photos on Courtney Love‘s Facebook page the singer-actress-headcase poses with transsexual Amanda Lepore (creepily, it’s almost hard to tell who’s who in this shot) and touches herself inappropriately all in the name of the same tired “shock” value she’s delivered year after year. Courtney, for the love of God, stop – we get it! You’re crazy! Stop beating a dead horse. (Hey wait, is that what Amanda is doing in that picture? Heyo!)
For additional topless (and bottomless) photos, check out The Daily Mail‘s spread and fall out of love with Courtney all over again.
[Photo: The Daily Mail via Facebook]
If Courtney Love ever puts out an autobiography, chances are no one will need to buy it because she’s divulging all her life’s juicy details to the tabloids and Twitter these days. Not content to just talk about her heterosexual hook-ups with Gavin Rossdale, her distaste for frat-rockers like Fred Durst, her complications with her own daughter Frances, blah blah blah, she now wants to take down yet another celeb, her friend Kate Moss, whom she hooked-up with over ten years ago. Love hinted recently that she had a same-sex relationship at one point, and now she had revealed that it was with the British supermodel during a trip to Italy.
She told the Irish magazine Hot Press “It was Kate Moss. She doesn’t care,” but then said “I hope she doesn’t get mad that I outed her about it.” She also nonchalantly said “It was just a thing that happened in Milan in the nineties.” Sure, right. Who wasn’t lezzing it up in Italy back in the day? And just to prove that she and Kate are cool, Love also added “I feel like such a kiss and tell. Kate’s great, though! Kate’s a good friend of mine. I almost bought her house in St John’s Wood, London.” So…I almost bought her house, and we made out, see? Besties!
If it was anyone else, this news might be shocking, but we don’t think Moss is going to suffer much for this “outing,” she’s certainly survived worse.
[Photo: Getty Images]