by (@shalapitcher)

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Moved To March 2013: Your Summer Just Got A Little Less Channing Tatum

Channing Tatum and Dwayne Johnson in G.I. Joe: Retaliation

To quote my boss, “Nooooooo, Joe!” (Only with more Os.) This was a reaction to the news that Paramount has decided to move G.I. Joe: Retaliation from its scheduled June 29 release to March 29, 2013. According to Deadline, this is because the studio would like to convert the whole thing to 3D. Wait, so we will now get to see the bulging biceps of Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson, Adrianne Palicki, D.J. Cotrona and Bruce Willis in three dimensions?

The John Chu-directed flick has a better chance of making big bucks overseas with 3D effects added, not to mention Channing Tatum won’t be competing against his own abs, which will be so lovingly displayed in Magic Mike, which is still coming out on June 29.

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New G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer: The Rock, Bruce Willis Help You Fight Flab For Summer!

[Photo: Paramount Pictures]

by (@shalapitcher)

New G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer: The Rock, Bruce Willis Help You Fight Flab For Summer!

Bikini season is coming soon, people, but you should not be worried. Dwayne Johnson’s G.I. Boot Camp will whip you into shape just in time. Oh, what’s that? This is the new trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation, not an ad for the Rock’s new workout program? Maaaaybe. We do seem to recall seeing a lot of explosions and robots and an evil robot president impersonator guy (and only 2 seconds of Channing Tatum, which should be a federal crime, but whatever). But mostly, what’s sticking in our mind is some major inspiration to hit the gym right now. Here are the basic selling points of the G.I. Joe workout:

Looking this good in a simple T-shirt is difficult, but it is the best way to rally a group around your rogue operation to save the world. Roadblock (Johnson) will show you how.
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