Adam Sandler, the fate of our childhood rests in your hands. Variety reports that Sandler and the hand inside Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, Robert Smigel, are currently in final talks to write the live-action Candy Land movie. “Candy Land is more than just a game. It is a brand that children, parents and grandparents know and love,” said Columbia Pictures’ Doug Belgrad of the deal. “The world of Candy Land offers an extraordinary canvas upon which to create a fantastical, live-action family adventure film with a larger than life part for Adam.” We would totally agree…if Sandler’s last movie, the cross-dressing extravaganza Jack and Jill, didn’t have a 3 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Or if it had made all its money back. Or if we hadn’t spent every day playing Candy Land after school as innocent children. So with that in mind,┬áhere are just a few helpful tips we’d like to offer Mr. Sandler as he starts to write the script. Don’t even make us tell you no fat suits:
- No drag. None. Not a girdle or fake bosom or a 5 o’clock shadow expertly covered up with HD makeup. You will not play Grandma Nutt with a slight lisp.
- Just go ahead and cast Katy Perry as Queen Frostine. She already has the wig, she has extensive Gummi bear-wrangling experience and she probably has a lot of thoughts on how to make the whole thing a lot sexier. No, that does not include David Spade slipping on a whip-cream bazooka bra. What did we say about drag? It’s like we’re talking to a delicious gingerbread wall here!
- Most importantly, this is a kids’ movie. While Robert DeNiro was the highlight of Jack & Jill and would make an excellent Lord Licorce, we do not need to see him break a chair over a woman’s head. Or try to seduce you…in drag. Oh, did we not mention we paid money to see Jack & Jill in the theater? All of our opinions are based on pure hard fact!
- Kevin James is your Gloppy the Molassess Monster. Aaaaaaaand your hardest casting decision is done.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Happy Halloween, Fablifers! We’ve already shown you the 40 craziest celeb Halloween costumes, and our 10 faves from this past weekend. But those were all such polished, professional affairs, weren’t they? We’re pretty sure that social networking was created mostly so that we could share hastily snapped pics of ourselves and friends making fools of themselves at Halloween parties. And in that respect — silly celebs in costumes, they’re just like us! The collection below gathers the blurry, the scary, the red-eyed, the not-quite-identifiable and the wish-we-were-there shots that famous people from Nina Dobrev and Lea Michele to Eli Roth and Zachary Quinto posted to their Twitter feeds over the weekend. There are some brilliant homemade costumes in the bunch — a bunch of Glee kids as the Rugrats, Leslie Mann as Kreayshawn — after all, many of these actors started off as geeky theater kids. Some A-listers clearly got professional help with their getups (cheating!). And though some look like lame last-minute costumes, we don’t mind because still love seeing the rich and famous not taking themselves seriously.
Peruse the gallery, steal ideas for tonight, and oooh and ahhh at yet another shot of Heidi Klum miraculously making herself gross.
It’s Al Pacino! If you recognized him, we’re impressed, because we couldn’t figure out who the hell he was. Pacino’s shooting Jack and Jill in L.A along with Adam Sandler, David Spade andáKatie Holmes. There’s not much information out there yet, but it’s a modern day twist of the old rhyme, set to release later on this year. We’re curious to see where Pacino fits into all of this, especially looking as he is. Apparently, Sandler’s playing both the parts of the twin brother and sister – Jack and Jill! We’re intrigued by Spade’s role as well, considering what we saw him dressed like. A truly hilarious un-missable photo of David in DRAG after the jump… Read more…
The number of TV shows and movies that involve a slovenly (but usually lovable and funny) guy paired up with a hot, sexy woman is huge. King of Queens, Knocked Up, Entourage, According to Jim, and now Grown Ups are all admissable in this category. If you were a foreigner looking in on American culture, you’d think that all women must be size 2 models whose only desires in a mate are a sense of humor and lack of vanity.
Cut to the premiere of Grown Ups, where this adage proves true, not only onscreen, but off. The male stars of this film couldn’t be bothered to even dress up for the red carpet (to be fair, David Spade and Rob Schneider look nice, but the rest of them – yeesh). Meanwhile, all the women in attendance looked hot and completely out of their league. Salma Hayek would still look more amazing than any of those men if she wore her Frida Kahlo unibrow and her Vampire’s Assistant beard. Need a closer look at the gender disparity? Take a gander at our gallery for proof.
[Photos: Getty Images]
What newlyweds were spotted at Los Angeles International Airport taking off for a tropical honeymoon?
David Spade never ceases to surprise. He is always nabbing hot blondes like Heather Locklear and Nicolette Sheridan and impregnating playmates in between. Today, however, he did something that really came out of nowhere.
David popped into a Phoenix police station and donated $100,000 toward the purchase of rifles for patrol officers. According to a source, David asked, “there be no fanfare or media attention” when he dropped off his check, which is funding “the purchase of rifles to help keep our patrol officers and community safe.”
Who knew? [Source: People; Photo: Getty Images]
Reps for David Spade confirmed that the SNL and Just Shoot Me actor is indeed the father of the baby girl born to Playboy Playmate Jillian Grace in August: “David and Jillian have been in close contact throughout her pregnancy and he plans to go see the baby during his first break from shooting Rules of Engagement.” Spade acknowledged that he could be the biological father to E! Online in January, saying “I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility.”
The blonde actor has a history with women, having dated Heather Locklear, Krista Allen and Julie Bowen before producing a mini Gap-Girl with Grace.