by (@hallekiefer)

Kim Kardashian And Kris Humphries Join The Short Marriage Club

Looks like Kim Kardashian’s divorce from Kris Humphries is now official. “After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage,” Kim said in a statement to E! News. “I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.” Meanwhile, new hubby Kris sounds a lot less thrilled about the announcement, saying in a statement, “I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce … I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.” They still had that new marriage smell, too!

While Kim and Kris might be ready to sign those divorce papers only 72 days after their nuptials, they are nowhere near the first celebrity couple to bail out of their wedded bliss just weeks or months after walking down the aisle. From Mario Lopez to Britney Spears, Liz Taylor to Lisa Marie Presley, let’s look back at our favorite shortest Hollywood marriages:

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

A Final Bow: River Phoenix Is The Latest Star To Release A Posthumous Film

In the words of music legends The Kinks, celluloid heroes never really die. Too many of the best actors and actress have been taken from us far too soon, but thankfully these stars live on in their films. And strangely, some of them continue to produce work even after they’ve gone to the big expensive trailer in the sky. Earlier this week it was announced that River Phoenix’s unfinished last film Dark Blood is finally getting a release eighteen years after his passing. Head to the gallery below for more departed thespians who’ve had films released after their death.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Friends Mourn As Dennis Hopper Is Laid To Rest

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Several of Dennis Hopper‘s celebrity friends were on hand in Ranchos de Taos, New Mexico to say farewell to their old pal at his funeral yesterday. Jack Nicholson and Peter Fonda were there to send off their Easy Rider co-star, with Nicholson saying “It was a very singular relationship I had with him, like nobody else. We were soul mates in a way. I really miss him.” Val Kilmer, who starred with Hopper in True Romance and lives in a neighboring town in New Mexico also attended.

Hopper, who died on Saturday from prostate cancer at age 74, was eulogized by his son Henry Lee Hopper, who said “There are very, very few people in this world who fight from the day they’re born to the day they go out. I would say Dennis was undoubtedly one of these people.”

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[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Dennis Hopper Wins Restraining Order Against “Inhuman” Wife

Dennis Hopper & Victoria Duffy

Dennis Hopper‘s divorce drama isn’t getting any prettier. The Blue Velvet star has won a restraining order keeping estranged wife Victoria Duffy out of his residence and at least ten feet away from him and his adult children, accusing his partner of over fourteen years of bringing him closer to death. “The presence of his estranged wife is hampering Mr. Hopper’s present cancer care…” explained his doctor, “It is my belief and recommendation that the less Mr. Hopper has to do with his estranged wife at this time, the more likely he is to have his life extended.” Hopper, who initially asked for her to be kept more than 15 yards from him at all times, accuses Duffy and her mother of demanding more than the 25% of his estate she ‘d receive if she died (and will lose if they divorce), once even waking him late at night to discuss it.

In one of the more dramatic examples given of her “inhuman” behavior, Duffy supposedly took their 5-year-old daughter Galen to Boston for Christmas despite his terminal medical condition. “This malevolent act,” he wrote, “has caused me to miss what may very well be my last Christmas with my daughter.” Hopper denies her claims that his adult children are behind these attacks, and that frequent use of medical marijuana has left him unable to handle his own affairs.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Actor Rip Torn, 78, Arrested For Drunken Bank Break-In

Rip Torn

Age ain’t nothin’ but a number. Oscar-nominated actor Rip Torn, 78, was arrested on Friday night for breaking into a closed Salisbury, Connecticut bank with a handgun. It’s should be no surprise that Torn was also intoxicated at the scene—he was given his third DUI in five years little over a year ago (he was sent to rehab in lieu of jail…guess that didn’t work out).

Though notorious for his run-ins with the law (not to mention brawling with Norman Mailer and successfully suing Dennis Hopper for misrepresenting their knife fight circa Easy Rider), Torn has racked up an impressive career in TV and film over the last fifty-five years, playing Judas in 1961′s King Of Kings, author Henry Miller in 1970′s Tropic Of Cancer and General Ulysses S. Grant in the hit ’80s mini-series The Blue And The Gray (fans of Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart should definitely check out Torn’s off-the-rails outlaw singer in 1973′s Payday). In later years, he starred as Artie on The Larry Sanders Show, Agent Zed in the Men In Black films and GE exec Don Geiss on 30 Rock. Currently being held on $100,000 bail, Torn is set to give his plea later today.

Update: Rip Torn’s lawyer said in court today that the actor believed he was in his home at the time of his arrest, and there was no intent to commit a crime. Torn will head to an alcohol treatment facility in NY upon posting bail and give his plea later in the month.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Dennis Hopper’s Deathbed Divorce Gets Dirtier

Dennis Hopper & Victoria Duffy

Considering that Dennis Hopper‘s violent temper and chemical misadventures are the stuff of Hollywood legend, it’s no surprise new accusations against the Blue Velvet actor would arise now that he’s divorcing his wife of seventeen years, Victoria Duffy. According to court papers filed by Duffy, Hopper—currently suffering from prostate cancer—has shown explicit sex scenes from his own movies to 6-year-old daughter Galen and kept firearms, including a loaded shotgun in the closet, within easy reach of the girl. Duffy also claims Hopper called her a “human garbage can” and, ironically, threatened to “end” her if she ever left him. Duffy doesn’t even think Hopper wants this divorce, accusing his advisers and children from previous marriages of attempting to wrangle more money out of the ailing star by forcing a split.

“I believe that he is more often than not incapable of handling his legal and financial affairs,” she wrote to the court. “His adult children are attending his legal appointments and have told me they ‘read everything.’” Though Duffy wants Hopper to maintain visitation rights with their young daughter, she does ask for one thing (aside from the removal of all those firearms): “He uses marijuana multiple times daily. I have come upon him using marijuana in Galen’s presence in recent months. I request the Court order [Hopper] to refrain from use of marijuana and any non-prescription drugs six hours before and during any time he spends with Galen.” Hopper has already agreed to pay spousal support.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Dennis Hopper: Divorcing While Dying?

Dennis Hopper & Victoria Duffy

Now here’s something you don’t expect to see on a Bucket List. Dennis Hopper filed for divorce yesterday from Victoria Duffy, his wife of seventeen years and mother of his 6-year-old daughter Galen. The news comes as a major surprise, considering that the Blue Velvet star is suffering from prostate cancer, reportedly with little hope for recovery. “It’s truly a tragedy,” an insider told the Huffington Post. “And sadly its all about the money and who inherits what. This is about getting Victoria out of the will, nothing more, nothing less.” The same source has also questioned Hopper’s mental capacity under the effects of his cancer medication (in 1999, Hopper was forced to pay fellow actor Rip Torn almost $1 million after he mistakenly claimed on The Tonight Show that Torn had attacked him with a knife on the set of Easy Rider. Apparently, it was Hopper who pulled the knife).

Besides Galen, Hopper also has three adult children from two of his four previous marriages (the shortest, to Michelle Phillips, lasted 8 days). His marriage to Duffy was the longest by far.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Dennis Hopper Diagnosed With Cancer

Dennis Hopper

Just a month after his emergency room scare, Dennis Hopper has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. The actor, in Rome to celebrate the launch of his book Photographs 1961-1967 last week, has canceled all future travel plans to attend a treatment program at the University of Southern California. “We’re hoping for the best,” said his manager. Hopper, a cult film legend since directing and starring in iconic ’60s film Easy Rider, recently finished filming for the second season of the TV series Crash.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Dennis Hopper Rushed To Emergency Room, Rep Blames “Flu-Like Symptoms”

Dennis Hopper

According to Entertainment Tonight, actor, director and sixties icon Dennis Hopper was taken by ambulance to a Manhattan hospital earlier today. Though reportedly seen wearing an oxygen mask and connected to multiple tubes, his spokesperson tells TMZ the Easy Rider star is under examination for “flu-like symptoms.” More information as the story develops.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Dennis Hopper, Former Bush Supporter, “Prays” For Obama Victory

If you assumed Dennis Hopper was a liberal based on Easy Rider, you were probably surprised to see him shooting zombie ACLU lawyers in the new movie An American Carol—oh wait, nobody saw An American Carol! Maybe that’s why Hopper is pushing so fervidly for the Democratic presidential candidate: “I voted for Bush, father and son, but this time I’ll vote for Obama.” Is King Koopa the October surprise?

The long-time Republican/longer-time crazypants donated to the RNC as late as 2004. Now he credits the current administration’s “lies” for his about-face, which he announced at an exhibition of his work in Paris. “I pray God, Barack Obama is elected.” So not only did Hopper jump the fence, he jumped the fence in France. We’re pretty sure the RNC won’t let you backpedal on that one.