Gargoyles! Psychics! They worship the moon! Oh, sorry, we were just getting worked up, thinking about the upcoming third season of American Horror Story after reading Ryan Murphy‘s new and ever more revealing spoilers. “I really miss Jessica Lange as Constance, that kind of stuff. And I know she missed it too,” the show creator told press at an advanced screening of AHS: Asylum‘s season finale. In addition to confirming that we will still get all the Lange our souls require, Murphy said the next season will be “funnier,” take place in modern times in several different cities and will be “really about female power.” Revealed the Glee creator, “I got Jessica to do it because I did everything she asked … and I also told her she will have hair, makeup, and the best designer gowns ever made. She’s going to play a real glamour cat sort of lady.” Glamour…cat…lady. Oh Ryan. How well you know us. How much you’ve learned.
After burning through aliens, Nazis, angels, serial killers and monsters of several different varieties this season alone, Ryan Murphy is obviously going to need to mix it up next season. The show’s writers return on Monday to hash out the third season, but we are already psyched for what we hear is coming our way…and what terrors we hope could join the mix:
…And we’re back! Our favorite show, American Horror Story: Asylum went on hiatus over the holidays, leaving us twiddling our thumbs on Wednesday nights without Evan Peters on our screens. We had so many unanswered questions about Briarcliff, Bloodyface and Grace’s baby. Rest assured, our beloved horror show returned last night and progressed the plot line in multiple ways. Sister Jude undergoes electroshock therapy after being diagnosed with manic depression, Grace has Kit Walker’s baby, the Monsignor Timothy O’Hara kills Sister Mary Eunice and Dr. Arden commits suicide to reunite with Sister Mary. Some critics have referred to Ryan Murphy’s AHS as the evil twin of his other show, Glee, and we never felt that way more than after watching last night’s episode. From the dance number to the virginity-losing, Briarcliff was less like an asylum and more like the halls of McKinley High. Here are our favorite Glee-like moments from “The Name Game.”
1.The Name Game – This comparison is by far the most obvious. In the middle of the episode, Lana Winters asks Sister Jude if she knows her own name after receiving electroshock therapy. Without answering Winters, a delirious Sister Jude trudges to the new jukebox in the asylum and selects Shirley Ellis’ classic to play, “The Name Game.” When she plays the song, Sister Jude immediately transforms into a glamorous early ’60s songstress and the bleak patients of Briarcliff get their groove on. Where is Kurt to bust out a showstopper when we need him? While we know this is a dream state and American Horror Story has its absurd moments, we couldn’t help but imagine Ryan Murphy in the writer’s room suddenly deciding to insert a dance number into the episode. Even for AHS, this felt out of place.
American Horror Story: Asylum has portrayed it all — from murders to amputations, Ryan Murphy leaves nothing to the imagination. Still, we are used to many of these graphic scenes just from visiting our local movie theater during Halloween season. As gruesome as it is, we are accustomed to the blood spewing, the white-tiled basement filled with murderous tools, and the exorcisms. We love Murphy’s wink to the horror genre and his dramatic flair, but this week’s episode seemed more disturbing than the usual stabbing. Lana Winters finds out she’s pregnant with Dr. Thredson’s baby and is determined to have an abortion — hence the title of the episode “The Coat Hanger.” The titular scene was probably one of the most disturbing things I’ve seen on this show so far. Now that they’ve depicted such a thing, what else can really be portrayed? Have we overcome the shock factor? Where do we go from here? Here is my list of questions from this week’s episode and what’s next for the rest of the season. Let me know if you have any answers, readers. We’re looking at you too, Ryan!
1. Did Dr. Arden take Kit Walker’s tape of Thredson admitting his crimes? Can Kit trust him now that they have this new alliance?
2. Is Grace having Kit Walker’s baby? Do you think she’s even carrying a baby?
3. Is Grace still alive or just a figment of Dr. Arden’s imagination? Did the aliens bring her back to life? What should we make of her?
Thanksgiving is the holiday of gratitude, food, and family. We gather around the table, connect with our loved ones, and prioritize what and who really matters to us. This week’s episode of Asylum, “The Origins of Monstrosity,” illustrates what happens when that familial loss is absent … Briarcliff style. From a sociopathic child who has no emotional attachment to her mother to a psychologist who suffers from abandonment issues, we break down the family issues surrounding AHS. Even though your family may exhibit all of their glorious dysfunction on Thanksgiving, just be thankful that you are not amongst the patients at Briarcliff.
1. Running with Scissors – Oh how we’ve missed having a signature demonic child around AHS! Well, we can put our anxieties to rest, now that we’ve met the devil incarnate, little Jenny, who has never cried in her young life and possibly murdered her friend with a pair of scissors. While she stands over her friend’s body and tells the police a “tall bearded man” killed her, her mother suspects her daughter was the perpetrator. She confirms this theory and admits her to Briarcliff after she discovers a lock of Jenny’s friend’s hair in her daughter’s pocket. The killings don’t end there. Later in the episode, Jenny again stands over a dead body innocently explaining to a police officer how a tall, bearded man killed her mother. After her mother admitted her to Briarcliff, did Jenny feel abandoned? Or is she simply incapable of empathy? Read more…
When I join hands with my family this Thursday, I’m going to give thanks for a number of things: my friends, my health, the money VH1 Celebrity pays me to make jokes about things I would be reading on the Internet anyway and, most important, American Horror Story: Asylum. Why is AHS: Asylum so dear to my heart? Why, because it is everything I love in a grimy, spine-tingling package. AHS is a horror series, a slasher flick, an Exorcist knock-off, a mad scientist tale, a monster movie, a tragic romance and a platform for Evan Peters‘ butt all in one. It is a blood-soaked late-night soap opera drenched in dirty water and covered in electrodes, and I love it so.
But seriously, a large part of it is Evan Peters‘ butt.
Last week’s episode of Asylum left us on a cliffhanger: Anne Frank was pointing a gun at Dr. Arden’s head and exposed him to be SS officer and experimental doctor Hans Gruber. This week, we finally discover the man behind the monster mask and the mystery behind Anne Frank. Before Anne has time to shoot Arden, the Briarcliff guards catch her and alert her husband of her violent disobedience. Her husband discloses that Anne Frank is actually Charlotte Cohen, who is suffering from postpartum depression after giving birth to their son. She copes by absorbing herself in the Holocaust, reliving it in an attempt to change its outcome. Not only does she convince Sister Jude that she was Anne Frank, but she definitely convinced me. I loved how Ryan Murphy created a second life for Anne Frank, but I should have known that she fabricated her story seeing as she is living in a mental institution. Talk about unreliable characters on this show.
Sister Jude releases Anne from the institution to be with her husband, but he soon realizes he can’t handle her anymore. He desperately tries to re-admit her back into Briarcliff, and guess who is ready to accept her with open arms? None other than Dr. Arden. Arden performs a lobotomy on her in an excruciating scene that left my skin crawling. Not to worry, though! Arden transforms her into the Stepford wife her husband always wanted. “I’ve never been happier,” she says to him sedately as she hugs her baby. This is one of my favorite storylines in the show so far, so I hope this isn’t the last we see of Anne Frank…I mean, Charlotte. Read more…
We fully credit our former intern Tionah Lee with a new theory that kind of blows our minds after looking at side-by-side photos like the ones above: “I’ve come to the conclusion that 1D’s Harry Styles and American Horror Story’s Evan Peters are long lost brothers,” she tweeted last night. Just look at their noses, eyebrows, and mouths! This is almost as uncanny as that photo of George Clooney and Abraham Lincoln, isn’t it? So now we are just going to float this out there and see if people start reporting it as true. That’s how facts work these days.
Speaking of rumors, Perez Hilton came up with a wild one today, too: that the One Direction singer is Taylor Swift’s new boyfriend. And this is based on about as much factual info as the Evan Peters theory. First, Styles told Cosmopolitan UK that he’s got his eye on someone special, and Perez notes, “Now, Harry has been rockin’ a paper airplane necklace. But all of a sudden (okay, around the same time his Cosmo UK interview hit), the now-single Swifty is seen wearing one too.” Read more…
American Horror Story is back with a vengeance this week with the most badass broad at Briarcliffe: Anne Frank. While most of us thought Anne tragically died at the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp just weeks before its liberation in 1945, Ryan Murphy‘s fictional Anne survived the camps and headed to the states with an American liberator with whom she fell in love. Frank apparently published her diary in the 50s, but couldn’t reveal her true identity because “the 15 year old girl had to stay martyred.” By identifying herself as Anne Frank, people assumed she was crazy and sent her to the asylum.
Anne doesn’t need to look too far for Nazi retribution. Apparently, Dr. Arden has much more to hide than being a mad scientist, pervert, and murderer. He was also a Nazi – which explains how Arden learned his cruel experiments. Not only does Anne remember him from Bergen-Belsen, but the prostitute who kicked Dr Arden at his house also discovered Nazi plans along with his disturbing photos of tortured women. Anne witnessed Arden, or Hans Gruber as he was known at the camps, choosing women from the barracks to be the recipients of his barbaric examinations.
Let’s just step back for a second. Can anyone get lower than Arden? If you’re having a bad day or are feeling bad about yourself, just remember things could be worse. At least you’re not Dr. Arden! At the end of the episode, Anne and Arden find each other together at last in his doctor’s room. She pulls out a pistol and shoots him in the leg, deservedly.
Murphy’s Anne Frank could be taken right out of Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Bastards , a Jew who is ready to seek justice on her Nazi oppressors. She is strong, convinced of her principles, and isn’t afraid of holding a gun. Anne famously said in her diary, “It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.” In Murphy’s world, this innocent 15 year old has given way to a nihilistic woman who knows that evil can truly exist in people. And by people, we mean Dr. Arden.
Last night’s episode of American Horror Story: Asylum exposed many repressed truths of our favorite characters. Sister Jude’s haunted past continues to unravel, and Sister Mary Eunice has had a sexual awakening that cannot be tamed. This was all set amid the backdrop of a storm that was “supposed to affect the entire Eastern seaboard.” That certainly hits a bit close to home this week for us this week with Sandy. Did Ryan Murphy know something before the rest of us? Anyway, since this episode begins to reveal the subconscious of Sister Jude, Dr. Arden and Sister Eunice, there were plenty of juicy, unfiltered quotes. Here are 10 of our favorite lines of the episode, showing that much of the “crazy” isn’t just restricted to Briarcliff’s patients.
“You have quite a suspicious mind, sister, bordering on the delusional. Or maybe it’s just a form of projection. A defense to protect your own guilty conscience.” — Dr. Thredson on beginning to decode Sister Jude
“You can swear all you like, Mr. Walker, but I will get to the truth. In here. We have all the time in the world.” — Dr. Arden while he’s experimenting on Dr. Walker
Last week’s premiere of American Horror Story: Asylum left me with a lot to mull over. From Lana Winters’ institutionalization at Briarcliff Manor to Dr. Arden’s experiments on Kit Walker, there were many questions to be answered and new back stories to fill in. “Tricks and Treats” didn’t further the plot as much as delve deeper into characters introduced in the premiere and welcome some new terrifying patients to Briarcliff. We learn more about why Sister Jude is such a bitter, cruel person — she just wanted to entertain the troops! — and are introduced to psychiatrist Dr. Oliver Thredson (Zachary Quinto!). AHS would never need an episode entirely dedicated to Halloween, since it always is such a fright fest. Still, “Tricks and Treats” had some particularly disturbing and sadistic moments for the holiday that left me clutching my pillow for dear life (go on, laugh), which is why I am recapping this episode with the Top 5 Screamtastic Moments.
Scream 1 – The episode opens with Winters’ lover Wendy and friends worried over Lana’s institutionalization at Briarcliff Manor. She misses her dearly and says, “Nothing makes sense without her.” Aww. They’re all trying to find ways to release her from Briarcliff, but can’t seem to find a solution. However, it already appears someone is listening to their thoughts. (Hmmm…could someone be following them?) After Wendy’s friends have left and she gets out of the shower (a clever nod to Pyscho), she walks through her house only to find that Freddy-like monster from last episode lurking in her hallway. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like Wendy makes it out of this episode…her students will probably have study hall all day tomorrow.