by (@JordanRuntagh)

Only Kanye’s Twitter Understands Him

We tried to go a full twenty-four hours without posting on Kanye West antics. Really we did. But he is too strong. We can’t fight him anymore. Damn you, Kanye.

The rapper is unhappy with how he was treated while filming an interview with Matt Lauer, during which he clarified his feelings on former President George W. Bush. Lauer showed only a short clip of the interview to Bush on a live Today Show discussion this morning, in which Kanye explained, “I didn’t have the grounds to call him a racist. But I believe that in a situation of high emotion like that, we as human beings don’t always choose the right words.”

Seems OK to us. But according to Kanye, something happened during his interview taping that pissed him off. So he confided in his closest friend: his twitter. And quite frankly, we were kind of disturbed by the tortured soul he poured out. In one hour he dropped 17 tweets, each one more haunting than the last.

“While I was trying to give the interview they started playing the ‘MTV’ under me with audio!!!!!!! I don’t mess with Matt Lauer or the Today Show…” he wrote. “HE TRIED TO FORCE MY ANSWERS. IT WAS VERY BRUTAL AND I CAME THERE WITH ONLY POSITIVE INTENT? I feel very alone very used very tortured very forced very misunderstood very hollow very very misused. I don’t trust anyone but myself! I can’t be everything to everybody anymore. I can’t be everybody’s hero and villain savior and sinner Christian and anti Christ! I create, I’m creative, I have a good heart, everyone will see and understand one day.”

Someone give this man a hug and some valium. But then he continued his descent into Twitter feed madness by wishing that the spirit of The King of Pop was hooked up to a social networking device.

“Everything sounds like noise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING SOUNDS LIKE NOISE!!!!!!!”  I wish Michael Jackson had twitter!!!!!! Maybe Mike could have explained how the media tried to set him up!!! It’s all a f*cking set up!!!!!”

Even after all that, we still have no idea what possibly could have offended Kanye so deeply. But look on the bright side, Kanye! George Bush says he’s cool with you now. That’s gotta count for…something. Hug it out, fellas.

[Photo: Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Kanye West Is Sorry For Being Mean To George Bush

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Kanye West feels you, George Bush. It’s time to let go of the pain! Before you WTF us, guys, let us explain. See now, Bush is a sensitive ol’ soul, who was hurt by big ol’ meanie Kanye calling him racist. Whilst being interviewed by Matt Lauer, he revealed, “He called me a racist. And I didn’t appreciate it then. I don’t appreciate it now. It’s one thing to say, ‘I don’t appreciate the way he’s handled his business.’ It’s another thing to say, ‘This man’s a racist.’ I resent it, it’s not true.”

All together now… Awww. And now would be the correct time to interject a WTF, too. Because of everything Bush could have talked about (read: apologized for), the man decided to talk about how his presidential morale was rocked by a rapper.

But Kanye, on the other hand, is turning a new leaf y’all. He may have dumped Louis Vuitton for Lanvin, but at least he’s sorry for it. He even apologized to Taylor Swift for ruining one of her many award moments (time to get over that one). And he’s sorry for the trauma he inflicted on G.B saying, “I definitely can understand the way he feels, to be accused of being a racist in any way, because the same thing happened to me, where I got accused of being a racist.”

Kanye can never be done in a couple of sentences, so he added, “For both situations, it was basically a lack of compassion that America felt in that situation. With him, it was a lack of compassion of him not rushing, him not taking the time to rush down to New Orleans. For me, it was a lack of compassion of cutting someone off in their moment. But nonetheless, I think we’re all quick to pull a race card in America. And now I’m more open, and the poetic justice that I feel, to have went through the same thing that he went [through] — and now I really more connect with him on just a humanitarian level.”

OMG. Kanye and George Bush? BFF? Totes going to happen. And Kanye, we know you’re being more “open” and all that. Just don’t say you’re connecting with George Bush. Ever.

[Photos: Getty Images]


by

5 Reasons George Bush Should Be On Dancing With The Stars

According to Page Six, would-be First Lady Cindy McCain was offered a chance to compete on the next season of Dancing With The Stars. She was thrilled, but hubby/Senator John McCain put his foot down, because it’s always about him. But with Barack Obama taking office on Tuesday, there’s an obvious replacement for Ms. McCain: President George W. Bush! Here are some reasons why.

  • Laura will love it.
  • It’s not like his approval ratings could get any worse.
  • Dancing on TV as the economy collapses has to be more fun than avoiding subpoenas while the world collapses. More poetic, too.
  • A publisher might actually want to put out his memoirs.
  • Dude is a dancing fool. Check out the gallery for some of the departing President’s greatest steps.

[Photo: AFP]

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by (@katespencer)

President Bush: Operation Butt Cheeks

President Bush and clan are at the Olympics this week and from the looks of it, our Commander in Chief is having a grand ol’ time checking out some volleyball ass and raisin’ the roof alongside Mitt Romney and Bill Gates. Crazy faces? American flag? George Bush has got ‘em! Leadership skills and a good vocabulary? Not so much.

Good times below.

[Photos: Getty Images]