by (@shalapitcher)

People’s Choice Awards Nominations By The Numbers: Vampires, Wizards And Alien Katy Perry

The nominees for the 2012 People’s Choice Awards — the bane of all snooty critics — have been announced. And since you can go ahead and see all of the nominees when you go to vote (through December 6) for the show’s winners, to be announced in the January 11 ceremony, we thought we’d concentrate on some important numbers revealed on the list.

9: Nominations for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (including Favorite Movie, four of the five nods for Favorite Actor Under 25 and Favorite Book Adaptation)

Nominations for Deathly Hallows, Part 1, which came out last November and missed last year’s cut-off.

7: Nominations for Katy Perry, who, in addition to the expected music categories received nods for Favorite Animated Movie Voice (for Smurfs) and TV guest star (How I Met Your Mother).

7: Nominations for Glee, including two for TV comedy actress (Jane Lynch and Lea Michele), two for comedy actor (Chris Colfer and Cory Monteith), two for guest stars Gwyneth Paltrow and Kristin Chenoweth, and one for network TV comedy. We are holding out hope for a Heather Morris nod one of these days.

Nominations for vampires, that’s just from True Blood and The Vampire Diaries.

13: Last year’s nominations for vampires, because Eclipse came out in the summer. Reminding us just how long it’s been since we’ve had a Twilight movie!

3: Nominations for Water for Elephants/Robert Pattinson. The frustrated Twilight vote finds its outlet!

0: Nods for women in the Favorite Movie Icon category.

0: Nods for women in the Favorite Action Star category.

1: Nod for a woman in the Favorite Superhero category: Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique in X-Men: First Class.

Nomination for a Kardashian. Kim, for fave celebreality star. Sorry, rest of the family!

by (@hallekiefer)

Pink Joins Gwyneth Paltrow’s New Sex Addiction Movie

According to Vulture, Pink joins Gwyneth Paltrow’s Thanks For Sharing movie as a mild-mannered middle school teacher who must quietly overcome the death of her elderly mother while touring the cathedrals of Prague. Just kidding, Pink will be playing a “free spirit who bonds with a sex addict,” portrayed by Book of Mormon star Josh Gad. It’s not the steam punk ringmaster or aggressive acrobat Pink has been channeling for years, but it seems like it’s still in her wheelhouse. Plus, let’s not pretend she doesn’t already have the wardrobe for it. Put her in anything she’s worn after Can’t Take Me Home and she’s good to go.

Credited in the 2012 Gwyneth Paltrow-Mark Ruffalo movie by her real name, Alecia Moore, Pink’s latest role is a follow up to her previous memorable work, which according to IMDB is limited to the 2007 horror movie Catacombs, a bit part in Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle and the voice of a lady penguin in the upcoming Happy Feet Two. Pink just better hope she doesn’t accidentally upstage Gwyneth, or else she’ll be back in that harness so fast.

[Photo: Splash News Online/]

by (@missmuttoo)

The Before And After: How Gwyneth Paltrow Becomes Gwyneth Paltrow

News from out favorite website ever — Goop. Its founder Gwyneth Paltrow has posted a behind-the-scenes ‘Emmy Scrapbook’ and thus made our day. These photos are taken from her personal camera and you can clearly tell the before and after. Because the one on the left is like her in Contagion, only smiling, and not contorted in pain and horror.

It starts off harmlessly enough with her introducing the diary with, “So nearly two weeks ago, getting everyone settled in back to school mode, I woke up to a huge surprise: I had won a Creative Arts Emmy for my guest role on Glee!” She adds a heartfelt bit about her late dad, writing, “This was especially meaningful, as my father (who made great TV shows back in the day—”The White Shadow”, “St. Elsewhere”) had been nominated and lost the Emmys nine times. So I’m pretty chuffed about the whole thing. And then it goes very Gwyneth and talks about jetting from the Shangri-La in Paris to London and then to L.A! And Audi’s and facials and what not. Gotta love her life.

What we love especially (and non-sarcastically) about this though, are the photos! We cracked up at the one with Tina Fey and Jack McBrayer because the caption is,  “I live for Tina Fey and I love Kenneth from 30 Rock!” We have a sneaky feeling she totally forgot Jack’s name. What’s even funnier is that with all that professional help, she still ended up in our Emmy Worst Dressed List! It may not sound like it, but can we say how much we love Gwyneth. There’s truly no one else like her!

[Photo via GOOP]

by (@hallekiefer)

Glee‘s Ryan Murphy Writing A New Musical Movie For Gwyneth Paltrow

The legacy of Country Strong lives on: Glee‘s Ryan Murphy is planning a Gwneth Paltrow musical movie, costarring Bridesmaids star and SNL alum Maya Rudolph. “We want to do a musical together — an original,” Murphy told E! at the Emmys, “For Gwyneth and Maya Rudolph, both of whom I’m great friends with.” Um, we all saw Maya doing the damn thing at the Emmys on Sunday, right?  Give Paltrow a prop mic, stick her in the back and you’re half-way to the first curtain call as we type this.

We’ve long known that the Gwyneth Paltrow is Ryan Murphy’s muse for the work he does with those lovable kids at fictional McKinley High, but Murphy first worked with Paltrow on the 2006 film Running With Scissors. “That’s all I will say,” Murphy said, before clamming up about his new film, though he did admit, “I loved Country Strong. I love it when she’s drunk and on the floor spitting up pills.” Okay, we can see that. It’ll be like Rent with a splash of GOOP. We can get on board that.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

The 2011 Emmy Worst Dressed List: And The Award For Hottest Mess Goes To…

While the 2011 Emmy Best Dressed list might contain some undeniably gorgeous ensembles, the Emmy Worst Dressed List is equally long and illustrious. From Gwyneth Paltrow‘s midriff-baring goth prom dress to Paz de la Huerta‘s lavender lip gloss and runaway weave to James Woods‘ apparent Botox overdose, the stars were getting hot and sloppy at the 63rd Annual Emmy Awards. The question, of course, is: who was the hottest and the sloppiest?

View Photo Gallery


by (@JordanRuntagh)

Small Screen, Big Style: Red Carpet Looks Of The 2011 Emmys

TV fans the world over are tuning in to the Emmys: the small screen’s biggest night! Although always full of famous faces, tonight is an especially star studded affair with some of the brightest movie stars crashing the red carpet at LA’s Nokia Theatre. Zooey Deschanel, Ashton Kutcher, and Oscar-winners Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Winslet…Who let these guys in!? We can forgive em (we guess) considering Ashton and Zooey are staring in the most anticipated shows this fall (The New Girl and a Sheen-less Two and a Half Men), and Gwyneth and Kate are both nominated for the award. But it doesn’t matter if you’re actually a winner, as long as you’re dressed like one! Our favorites so far have got to be Vampire Diaries vamp Nina Dobrev in a redder-than-red-carpet gown, and Aubrey Plaza looking Old Hollywood hot in a white Marilyn-like number. And of course, bombshell Christina Hendricks destroyed the competition like we knew she would in a curve-hugging, high-slitted, low-necked silver dress. Check out the best (and the rest) in the gallery below!

[Photo: Getty Images]

View Photo Gallery

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Gwyneth Paltrow Gives Infidelity The GOOP Seal Of Approval

Gwyneth Paltrow lives by a different sort of life code than most of us. Just ask anyone who subscribes to her email newsletter, GOOP. The actress has famously peddled her ‘body cleanse’, recommended trying the $120 fish soup at a New York eatery, and advised working moms to simply get an assistant. And now Gwyneth is at it again by trying to convince us that infidelity is a normal part of marriage. In fact, the self-described “romantic” says that she doesn’t judge those who cheat on their loved ones. Excuse us while we do spit-takes with the $9,000 bottle of prosecco GOOP recommended we buy.

“Life is complicated and long and I know people that I respect and admire and look up to who have had extra-marital affairs,” she told a press conference while promoting her upcoming film, Contagion. “It’s like we’re flawed. We’re human beings and sometimes you make choices that other people are going to judge…” Hmm…is Gwyneth trying to tell us something?  “I think that the more I live my life, the more I learn not to judge people for what they do.” Is she really talking about “friends,” or is there trouble in organic paradise with her husband, Coldplay front man Chris Martin? She claims no, saying “‘I’m lucky. I have a wonderful, blessed life. I have two fantastically delightful children and a very nice husband, so…knock on wood.” But only the finest mahogany will do. Consult your GOOP newsletter for more details.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Gwyneth Paltrow Kind Of, Sort Of, Indirectly Saved Someone’s Life On 9/11

We know that the Lord supposedly works in mysterious ways, but it seems like Gwyneth Paltrow practically side-swiping you in her $70,000 car would be a little too mysterious even for the Universe to think up. However, according to finance employee Lara Lundstrom Clarke, Gwneth Paltrow saved her life on 9/11 by making her late to her job in one of the Twin Towers. “It was one of those mornings that felt good, you had a little skip in your step. What the heck — I always cut across 7th Avenue. Then all of the sudden a silver Mercedes SUV came barreling down towards me,” Clarke recalls. “I stopped and they screeched to a halt. Then it developed into one of those classic who-goes-first situations. It got ridiculous.” Not quit as ridiculous as the fact that the star of Shakespeare In Love was behind the wheel but, sure, that’s up there.

“OMG it was Gwyneth Paltrow,” Clarke remembers thinking, though by the time she made it across the street she had missed her train, and had to wait for the next one. By the time she arrived at her stop, Clarke says, “I looked up and there was a big gaping hole in the World Trade Center…That was the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life – my office exploded.” Miraculously only 4 of her 170 coworkers were killed that morning. Wow…we guess we owe it to Paltrow to lay off her for a little while, huh? Thought…have you seen Duets? Okay, you’re right, we’re done.

by (@hallekiefer)

Gwenyth Paltrow’s Face Will Terrify You Into Seeing Her New Movie

Okay, yes, we give Gwyneth Paltrow a lot of flack for being a rich skinny actress who subsists on sunshine, flaxseed and a single whole-wheat crostini Mario Bitali prepares for her each day. Don’t even get us started on how Gwyn gained 20 lbs for Country Strong and still had abs you could use to level a picture frame. As much as a macrobiotic diva we paint her out to be (using low-VOC paint, of course), we give P. Trow props for allowing her gruesome sickness face to be used to hype her upcoming epidemic thriller Contagion. It ain’t gonna be pretty.

According to the New York Times, the movie’s ad campaign will “feature, among other things, a gasping, bug-eyed Ms. Paltrow beneath a legend that warns potential moviegoers to steer clear of one another. ‘Don’t talk to anyone,’ the posters say. ‘Don’t touch anyone.’” We doubt her co-star Marion Cotillard would agree to look that awful at 24-feet-across, though we guess Marion doesn’t have Country Strong to erase from the public’s mind. Seriously, Paltrow’s stomach is like granite in that film!

[Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures]

by (@hallekiefer)

Contagion Trailer Confirms Fear That Gwyneth Paltrow Will Cause Your Death

You always had a lurking suspicion that Gwyneth Paltrow would somehow be the death of you, though before today you assumed it would be the result of terminal eye rolling induced by a DVD of Country Strong, rather an unstoppable outbreak of the bird flu. Either way, now you can see your fear play out in real time in the new Contagion trailer, which has Paltrow turning up the sweaty jaundice as the first victim of a global pandemic that the CDC must race to contain. So basically it looks like Outbreak, but with an Academy Award-winning actress instead of a little escaped monkey.

Costarring Matt Damon, Laurence Fishburne, Kate Winslet and Jude Law, the thriller is currently scheduled for release September 9 of this year. Of course, it’s not fair to place all the blame on a diseased Paltrow. As Jude puts it in the trailer, “No one has to weaponize the bird flu. The birds are doing that.” So really the film seems more like The Happening, but with pigeons instead of tress. We warned you: whatever you do, do not let your eyes start rolling. There’s not telling if they can ever be stopped!