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Gwyneth Paltrow Responsible For Swyllenhaal, Y’all

After just a couple short months together, it’s already being reported that Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift want to move in together.  First, let’s once again note that in the real, non-Hollywood world, it’s actually slightly creepy/predatory for a thirty year old man to date a twenty-one-year-old girl, isn’t it? Not that we think Jakey is a predator; it’s just one more example of Hollywood life having different rules from real life. Second, not everyone has matchmaker Gwyneth Paltrow serving as their own personal eHarmony compatibility test—yet another example of “Stars! They’re Just (So Very Not) Like Us!”

When asked about her role in the hook-up, Gwyneth explained “I’ve just known Jake for a long time and he’s a great guy, and Chris [Martin] has a friendship with Taylor.” The pair reportedly met at a dinner party at the Paltrow-Martin residence on November 13.  “It’s so weird,” she said. “I wonder how people find out these things. It was a while ago, so I don’t know why it would come out today.” Here’s something even weirder: a country-tastic clip for Paltrow’s new movie, Country Strong wherein Gwynnie sings a song called “Shake That Thing” and yeesh…it’s rough. Check it out after the jump.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Continues To Take Her Music Career Seriously

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Now that she’s starred in a a movie (Country Strong) and a television show (Glee) where she’s gotten to show off her vocal prowess, Gwyneth Paltrow is ready for a more musical career. The actress told Entertainment Weekly that not only is she considering a role in the film version of Broadway’s Rock of Ages musical, but she also wants to go on tour. An actual music tour.

Paltrow, who made friends with her Country Strong co-star Tim McGraw, said that the country singer “keeps joking that I should go on the road as his opening act. And I keep saying, ‘Let’s do it. Let’s make it happen.’ I don’t know about a whole tour but maybe a string of nights could be fun.” Not that she wants to overshadow hubby and Coldplay singer Chris Martin, however, as she adds “I’m not sure I would ever quit my current job and become a full-time singer. I love my day job and we already have a musician in the family.”

As for Rock of Ages, Paltrow isn’t the only star power considering the movie. The film, which uses 80s rock music to tell the story of a couple’s relationship, is also trying to get Tom Cruise as the male lead. Wait, does he even sing? Neither of star is committed to the film but we would be fascinated if they paired up for it. Completely fascinated.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Gwyneth Paltrow Goes Commando At Country Strong Screening

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We were totally planning to write about the puffy pink party dress Leighton Meester wore to last night’s Country Strong screening in LA, until we took a closer look at what Gwyneth Paltrow was wearing. Looking at her from the left, it appears to be a bland, body-covering tarp. But catch from the back right and…WOW. Did Gwynnie really go commando to pull this look off? If anything needed to be country strong, it was the string holding this outfit together.

Get a closer look at this eye-catcher (and Leighton’s—did she make it out of used pieces of gum?) in the gallery below.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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by (@missmuttoo)

Gwyneth Paltrow (Finally) Gets A Star In Hollywood

The Goop is on! Gwyneth Paltrow has finally received her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at the ripe age of 38. GP, as usual, looked tall and enviably skinny in a knee skimming white, fitted dress yesterday and commented that she was chuffed that her, “grandchildren can one day come and see my name on the sidewalk”. Gwyn, we know you were actually thinking, “It was about f-ing time.” Consider this—she got her Oscar for Shakespeare in Love 11 years ago. 11 long years.

Paltrow’s come a long way from Elizabethan England. Gywenth put on 20lbs (*snort*) to play a washed-up singer in Country Strong and even did a sassy version of Cee-lo‘s Forget You” on Glee. Because she’s an actress, okay? Now she’s got an Oscar AND a star to prove it. Congrats, Gwynnie.

Danger, Danger : insufferable levels going through the roof.

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Ringtone Is A Song By Her BFF, Jay-Z

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You knew that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin were pals with Jay-Z, but what you didn’t know is that Gwynnie loves her musical buddy so much that she made him her ringtone. For real. Movieline reports that at a press junket for Paltrow’s movie Country Strong, her cell phone went off to the tune of “Dirt Off Your Shoulder.” Lest anyone in the crowd be unfamiliar with the tune, Paltrow explained it was “Y’know, by Jay-Z.” Thanks for clearing that up, G!

So do you think Jay reciprocates the love? Is his ringtone the theme from Country Strong, or maybe the Glee version of “Forget You”? Of course not—it’s totally “Cruisin’” from Duets.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Now Dina Lohan Wants To Sue Glee

Yes, that Glee! Dina Lohan is pissed that her Lindsay and her troubles have been used as a punchline on the show this week and like the Mama Grizzly she is, she’s not going to stand for it. It stems from a scene featuring Gwyneth Paltrow as the substitute teacher who asks her class in Spanish (subtitles were provided) “Lindsay Lohan is totally crazy, right?” And then asks  “How many times has Lindsay Lohan been to rehab?” in an effort to get them to count in Spanish. Which sounds kind of hilarious to us, and we don’t even like Glee.

Dina said “Our lawyers are sending a letter” to Glee because she feels Lindsay was defamed, while a rep for Lindsay said “Lindsay has an issue that millions of people around the world are dealing with yet Glee is treating addiction as a laughing matter.” We have to admit that suing because you’re called crazy more legitimate than suing because you’re called a milkaholic, but we still don’t think this case will stand up in court. Besides, considering Dina doesn’t even know how many times Lindsay has been in rehab, maybe she could learn something from the episode.

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Singer Gwyneth Paltrow More Tolerable Than Actress Gwyneth Paltrow

Time was, we didn’t care one way or another about Gwyneth Paltrow, she was just a head in a box at the end of Seven. (Um, spoiler alert.) But then she got über-famous, über-skinny, semi-British and thoroughly smug, so we turned on her. But deep in our heart, we do have the capability to forgive, and with her recent musical appearances, it seems like we might actually be developing a softish spot for her.

Paltrow’s performance at the CMA’s this week was actually tolerable, and the video of her performing Cee-Lo‘s “Forget You” on Glee is downright charming! Of course, we give partial credit to Cee-Lo just for writing such a kick-ass song that everyone should love (seriously, if you don’t love this song what’s wrong with you?). But Gwyneth really hooks us with her version of it. This is a big deal, especially considering how much we also hate Glee. Have we been wrong all these years? Is Gwyneth awesome and we’ve misunderstood her? We won’t go that far, but hey, Jay-Z loves her, so she can’t be all bad.

by (@missmuttoo)

Gwyneth Paltrow Makes Her Live Singing Debut At The CMA’s

Gwyneth Paltrow is often viewed as the picture of perfection. Gwyneth is skinny even when packing an extra 20lbs and  she’s besties with Jay-Z. Meanwhile, our friends are all nobodies and any surplus-poundage would makes us look like the Pillsbury Dough boy. Something Gwyneth Paltrow would never be, because she doesn’t eat white flour!

All jokes about macrobiotic smugness aside, the lady can really hit a note or two. Check out Gwyneth singing at the 2010 CMA Awards. She sang Country Song from her new film of the same name and she actually sounded goop. Er, we mean good.

This was Gwynnies’ debut live gig and we liked it, as did the entire auditorium including Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman. The couple joined the crowded in giving Gwyneth a standing ovation at the end of her performance. We’d be shaking in our custom-made Louboutin boots, but the actress handled her singing debut like a pro. Bravo indeed.

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Fat Gwyneth Paltrow Same Size As Skinny Gwyneth Paltrow

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People Magazine reports today that Gwyneth Paltrow had to gain twenty pounds to play the role of washed-up, alcoholic country star Kelly Canter in the upcoming film Country Strong.  Of course that meant an interview with Paltrow’s notorious trainer Tracy Anderson, who had to sit idly while her star pupil self-destructed with bucket after bucket of fried chicken. Anderson, who whipped Paltrow into shape for Iron Man, said “It was frustrating for me, but they wanted her to gain.”

But then of course, Anderson says that Paltrow dropped the weight immediately after filming wrapped just by resuming her normal exercise routine. People annoyingly writes “She didn’t even need to kick it up a notch.” Well of course she didn’t, she’s Gwyneth Paltrow. She farts rainbows and loses weight just by thinking smug, cleanse-y thoughts. Here’s the thing though: The photos above show Gwyneth in the film (at left), where she is supposed to be 20 lbs. heavier. The photo on the right is Gwyneth at the film’s premiere last night, post weight-loss. Pretty hard to tell which photo is supposed to be “fat” Gwyneth. In fact, “fat” Gwyneth is still skinnier than anyone we know in real life. And hey, what kind of “fat” country star was she supposed to emulate anyway? Obese Faith Hill? Enormous Carrie Underwood? None of this makes any sense. Especially since, if they really wanted her to pack on the pounds, they could have just gotten Gwyneth’s Shallow Hal fat suit out of storage.

[Photos: Sony Pictures/Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Elle Salutes Unsung Hollywood A-List Actresses

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The Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills had more stars than a Scientology recruitment meeting last night as Elle Magazine held its 17th annual Women In Hollywood tribute dinner. The gala provided a chance to honor the tinsel-town mega-celebs whose work largely goes unrecognized (not). Among the honorees were Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Hudson, Hilary Swank, Diane Keaton, Jodie Foster, Sofia Coppola, Kerry Washington and Diane Kruger; only six of whom have won Oscars.

Paltrow was arguably the one showered with the most praise, as friend and Proof costar Jake Gyllenhaal presented her award. “She is not a mere mortal like the rest of us,” he gushed, “She is an internet-savvy, award-winning, lifestyle guru, making all of us look lazy.” For real, this is what he said. We expected Jake to then unveil a three-hundred foot portrait of the actress and order the crowd to convert to Paltrow-ism. But he didn’t. This time.

Action legend Harrison Ford was overwhelmed with the star-power in attendance. “This event came to be back in the days when they said, ‘There were no good parts for women’ and ‘Women aren’t highly regarded,’” he told the Associated Press. “Now women run Hollywood. Absolutely run Hollywood. And I’m glad.”

Check out the glitz, glam, and Hollywood goddesses and gurus in the gallery below!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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