Yes, that Glee! Dina Lohan is pissed that her Lindsay and her troubles have been used as a punchline on the show this week and like the Mama Grizzly she is, she’s not going to stand for it. It stems from a scene featuring Gwyneth Paltrow as the substitute teacher who asks her class in Spanish (subtitles were provided) “Lindsay Lohan is totally crazy, right?” And then asksÃ‚Â Ã¢â‚¬Å“How many times has Lindsay Lohan been to rehab?” in an effort to get them to count in Spanish. Which sounds kind of hilarious to us, and we don’t even like Glee.
Dina said “Our lawyers are sending a letter” to Glee because she feels Lindsay was defamed, while a rep for Lindsay said “Lindsay has an issue that millions of people around the world are dealing with yet Glee is treating addiction as a laughing matter.” We have to admit that suing because you’re called crazy more legitimate than suing because you’re called a milkaholic, but we still don’t think this case will stand up in court. Besides, considering Dina doesn’t even know how many times Lindsay has been in rehab, maybe she could learn something from the episode.
Time was, we didn’t care one way or another about Gwyneth Paltrow, she was just a head in a box at the end of Seven. (Um, spoiler alert.) But then she got über-famous, über-skinny, semi-British and thoroughly smug, so we turned on her. But deep in our heart, we do have the capability to forgive, and with her recent musical appearances, it seems like we might actually be developing a softish spot for her.
Paltrow’s performance at the CMA’s this week was actually tolerable, and the video of her performing Cee-Lo‘s “Forget You” on Glee is downright charming! Of course, we give partial credit to Cee-Lo just for writing such a kick-ass song that everyone should love (seriously, if you don’t love this song what’s wrong with you?). But Gwyneth really hooks us with her version of it. This is a big deal, especially considering how much we also hate Glee. Have we been wrong all these years? Is Gwyneth awesome and we’ve misunderstood her? We won’t go that far, but hey, Jay-Z loves her, so she can’t be all bad.
Gwyneth Paltrow is often viewed as the picture of perfection. Gwyneth is skinny even when packing an extra 20lbs and she’s besties with Jay-Z. Meanwhile, our friends are all nobodies and any surplus-poundage would makes us look like the Pillsbury Dough boy. Something Gwyneth Paltrow would never be, because she doesn’t eat white flour!
This was Gwynnies’ debut live gig and we liked it, as did the entire auditorium including Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman. The couple joined the crowded in giving Gwyneth a standing ovation at the end of her performance. We’d be shaking in our custom-made Louboutin boots, but the actress handled her singing debut like a pro. Bravo indeed.
People Magazine reports today thatGwyneth Paltrow had to gain twenty pounds to play the role of washed-up, alcoholic country star Kelly Canter in the upcoming film Country Strong. Of course that meant an interview with Paltrow’s notorious trainer Tracy Anderson, who had to sit idly while her star pupil self-destructed with bucket after bucket of fried chicken. Anderson, who whipped Paltrow into shape for Iron Man, said “It was frustrating for me, but they wanted her to gain.”
But then of course, Anderson says that Paltrow dropped the weight immediately after filming wrapped just by resuming her normal exercise routine. People annoyingly writes “She didn’t even need to kick it up a notch.” Well of course she didn’t, she’s Gwyneth Paltrow. She farts rainbows and loses weight just by thinking smug, cleanse-y thoughts. Here’s the thing though: The photos above show Gwyneth in the film (at left), where she is supposed to be 20 lbs. heavier. The photo on the right is Gwyneth at the film’s premiere last night, post weight-loss. Pretty hard to tell which photo is supposed to be “fat” Gwyneth. In fact, “fat” Gwyneth is still skinnier than anyone we know in real life. And hey, what kind of “fat” country star was she supposed to emulate anyway? Obese Faith Hill? Enormous Carrie Underwood? None of this makes any sense. Especially since, if they really wanted her to pack on the pounds, they could have just gotten Gwyneth’s Shallow Hal fat suit out of storage.
The Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills had more stars than a Scientology recruitment meeting last night as Elle Magazine held its 17th annual Women In Hollywood tribute dinner. The gala provided a chance to honor the tinsel-town mega-celebs whose work largely goes unrecognized (not). Among the honorees were Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Hudson, Hilary Swank, Diane Keaton, Jodie Foster, Sofia Coppola, Kerry Washington and Diane Kruger; only six of whom have won Oscars.
Paltrow was arguably the one showered with the most praise, as friend and Proof costar Jake Gyllenhaal presented her award. “She is not a mere mortal like the rest of us,” he gushed, “She is an internet-savvy, award-winning, lifestyle guru, making all of us look lazy.” For real, this is what he said. We expected Jake to then unveil a three-hundred foot portrait of the actress and order the crowd to convert to Paltrow-ism. But he didn’t. This time.
Action legend Harrison Ford was overwhelmed with the star-power in attendance. “This event came to be back in the days when they said, ‘There were no good parts for women’ and ‘Women aren’t highly regarded,’” he told the Associated Press. “Now women run Hollywood. Absolutely run Hollywood. And I’m glad.”
Check out the glitz, glam, and Hollywood goddesses and gurus in the gallery below!
In a new interview in Elle, amid tales of gassy babies and Dolly Parton, Gwyneth Paltrow reveals she was once asked to hit the casting couch in order to get a role. Whoa! Says Paltrow, “When I was just starting out, someone suggested that we finish a meeting in the bedroom. I left. I was pretty shocked. I could see how someone who didn’t know better might worry, ‘My career will be ruined if I don’t give this guy a blow job!” Ewww! Do you think it was an audition for Hook? Oh wait no, Gwyneth was actually in Hook. Hmmm… Seriously though, if Gwyneth, daughter of actress Blythe Danner and director Bruce Paltrow, was threatened with a blow job, Urbandictionary.com probably doesn’t have a name yet for what actresses who aren’t rich and connected have to do.
When asked about roles currently available for women, the GOOP queen says she feels “Kind of dejected. There’s a lot that’s okay, but there’s little that’s really good, especially for someone my age. Sometimes you find out that something you really liked is going to someone 10 years younger. I find it heartening that Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock have been able to find and create amazing projects.” Has she seen Mamma Mia or All About Steve? We’re sad to say, Gwyn, they can’t all be winners. [Photo: Getty Images]
This is still in talks, but our juju tells us it’s most likely, going to happen. Fo’ reals. Gwyneth Paltrow is negotiating a guest-spot on Glee. How are we supposed to react to this? We’re not quite sure yet, so why don’t you tell us. But before you sound off, here are the facts.
Gwynnie, as she does in her new movie Country Strong, will go the whole hog. She’ll sing. She’ll dance. She’ll sign everyone up for Goop, while cooking healthy macrobiotic snacks. (That last bit is ours, clearly, but given half a chance, that’s totes what she’d do! ) We can hear all you Gleeks muttering under your breath already, pondering, “When? Why? What?”
‘When’ is Glee’s second season which kickstarts right about now. ‘Why’ is because her royal Goopness and Glee creator, Ryan Murphy, are tight. And we’re scared to tell you about the ‘What’. Just remember, don’t shoot the messenger, okay? We’re just reporting, and not responsible for this casting coup… or catastrophe, depending on what side of the couch you’re on. The dish is that G.P is potentially being cast in a two-episode role as a kinda-sorta love interested for Mr Schue aka Matthew Morrison. But, but, but… what about Emma? Gah!
The story being discussed is that substitute teacher Gwyneth steps in when Mr Schuester gets sick. She’s lovable (and hot), and helps the Glee club when Mr Schue is down. And when he gets back up, let’s just say he’s thinking up some major love ballads for her.
But what about EMMA!
We don’t know yet, but if the deal comes through, they’ll start shooting the episodes in two weeks. Which leaves Gwyneth just enough time to go on a yoga-mastercleanse-Eastern alternative healing boot camp!
Have you seen the trailer for Country Strong yet, the new movie where Gwyneth Paltrow tries to convincingly portray a drunk country singer? Y’all, we have been watching it constantly this morning, partly because we’re fascinated by her accent, and partly because it’s so full of cliches we’ve been busy trying to count them all. Join us, won’t you, in bullet-pointing the predictable and cringey plot-points of this future cult classic. The one thing it has going for it is at least now when we think of Gwyneth singing, her duet of “Cruisin’” won’t be the only thing we think of anymore.
0:15 Country music star Kelly Canter is released from rehab after a bout of drunk and disorderly conduct. Hey, will she relapse, only to find redemption? I wonder!
0:32 Introduction of Kelly’s new, young rival and tourmate, Chiles Stanton played by Leighton Meester. Oh, honey Chiles. She’s the prom queen who idolizes Kelly, which can only mean she goes All About Eve on her ass.
1:13 Kelly’s back on the sauce! Kelly’s back on the sauce! Too much pressure! Too many rivalries! A cute and wise new bandmate! It’s a lot to process. In other news, do any other country singers you know have such defined abs and wear so many diamonds? That’s the Tracy Anderson/Harry Winston effect.
1:19 Punches are thrown between the wise young bandmate and Kelly’s husband! Drunk Kelly collapses in tears because she knows she’s a shell of her former self! Is she going to write a number one song like Bad Blake in Crazy Heart, or try to prove herself to her loved ones like Johnny Cash in Walk The Line? What form will her redemption take??
1:24 “This is Kelly’s last opportunity to turn things around!” says Kelly’s husband/manager Tim McGraw. Of course it is.
1:29 Wait, are they hoboes, riding a train like that? Please let there be hobo flashbacks!
1:37 You just had to bring a children’s cancer ward into this, didn’t you?
1:38 Kelly rises like a phoenix/back-lit American Idol contestant to strum her guitar in front of flags and cars to prove the old girl’s still got it.
1:59 Wait, now she’s doing a jig onstage that doesn’t match the rhythm of this song. Who edited this?
2:04 Leighton Meester shows us how it’s done with the coy-smile-turned-laugh-in-the-credits moment.
2:14 “The first time I heard you sing, I thought, that must be what angels sound like,” said Tim McGraw, who has been reading too many Nicholas Sparks novels.
2:23 Kelly tells Chiles “That’s how it’s done sweetheart,” and she and her wig walk offstage, leaving Chiles to simmer in her cowboy boots an metallic dress.
2:29 The crowd chants “Kelly! Kelly! Kelly!” and we realize that they are a metaphor for all of her relationships and that everything is going to be all right.
Jay-Z, who is known as Uncle Jay to little Apple and Moses Martin, said of the Martin clan “They are a really cool family with beautiful kids, who happen to be good at the jobs they do.” And fueling the firestorm over whether he and Beyoncé plan to start a family soon, when asked what his plans were, he said “Kids? Of course.”
The best quote of the interview with Mr. Z though, came when he said that had he come across Chris Martin growing up in Brooklyn, Martin would have been victimized, for sure. Jay explained that had they met back in the day, it would have been “a different scenario.” He went on, “He couldn’t walk through Marcy. I was a different person then. I wasn’t open to the world and to cultures. I would have been, ‘Yo! Who are you? Give me your money.’ You couldn’t have a guy like Chris walking through Marcy. He’d have to get robbed. At best.” Of course, no one knows why Martin had a cast on his foot at the beach in these photos, it’s possible Jay gave him a beat down after getting “Clocks” stuck in his head one too many times.