Dear people who love American Idol and people who report on American Idol,
We mean no disrespect because we are one of you, but hear us out. All this speculation about who is going to replace Simon Cowell has to stop. We went through this last year when the big question was who would replace Paula Abdul, remember? And it turned out that while, yes, Katy Perry, Victoria Beckham and Avril Lavigne did indeed appear on the show last season, they were just guests, not the new Paula. So let’s cool it with the “Who’s going to replace Simon? Is it going to be Justin Timberlake? Is it going to be Harry Connick, Jr.? Well? Is it?” stuff, because we should all know by now that we’re not going to get the answer we’re looking for till at least the fall, but more likely sometime in December, weeks before the new season airs.
So far, we’ve heard that Bret Michaels could replace Simon. And Elton John. And Chris Isaak, Shania Twain, Guy Oseary, Tommy Mottola, the aforementioned Harry Connick, Jr. and Justin Timberlake The latest news today is that Jessica Simpson is in the running for the job, too. This short list, it ain’t so short anymore. In fact, it’s sort of comically long and varied and is surely going to create so much hype that when the real successor is named, it’s going to be a let-down. Let’s do ourselves a favor and channel our energy elsewhere for the time being, because on the off chance they name someone who is like, a songwriter or producer we’ve never heard of, we’re all going to be bummed out by the non-name recognition. Call it the DioGuardi Effect if you will. It’s bad enough we’ve lost Simon, let’s not make things worse by getting our hopes dashed on a daily basis false news of his replacements too.
On second thought, maybe Harry Connick, Jr. is better in really small doses. His montage of hilarity last night got pretty irritating pretty fast. Still, the man can sing and his and Lady Gaga’s appearances were definitely some of the more talent-showcasing guest performances of the season. We aren’t familiar with Gaga’s latest song, “Alejandro” and it’s not her best, but as always, she’s a good show. Although – is that much butt cheek typically allowed in the 9 o’clock hour? Of course the real story here is not the filler performances, it’s the fact that Casey James did not get eliminated for his poor performance, seventeen-year-old Aaron Kelly did.
It was pretty cool to have Harry Connick, Jr. not only mentor the performers on American Idol‘s Frank Sinatra night, but to play in the band too. Harry, or should we say, “Hammy”, because he was so full of yuks all night, wrote the arrangements for the contestants which is certainly above and beyond what most mentors do. (A fact not lost on him when he said “You think Shania Twain was up in here doing this?”) Harry reminded us of an embarrassing, goofy uncle (who is also a piano virtuoso and really hot) so we kinda liked his dorky presence.
We really could never have predicted how much we’ve come to admire Aaron Kelly. Week after week we predict his demise, and week after week, he’s improved drastically. Kelly was solid this week singing “Fly Me To The Moon”, but because he had to contend with Michael Lynche and Lee DeWyze‘s even more solid performances, he wasn’t the best of the night. Crystal Bowersox provided what we thought were some smooth jazz vocals (in a good way), but the judges only liked her a smidge more than they liked Casey James, who sang “Blue Skies” and was pitchy, warbly and weirdly shaved. In other news though, the name Casey Blue Skies is a modern take on a mob classic, we think, so he can use that is he ever needs to rub anyone out. (Ew. That’s a syllable away from DioGuardi-dirty-old-woman territory.) Simon Cowell was even cruel enough to tell Casey in advance that he should prepare to take another gig next week. (It was a callback to a story Casey told, but was still unnecessarily cruel…but true? We’ll see tonight!)
Since Crystal is no longer the lone standout, at least not for these past few weeks, this show is getting interesting. Also interesting: Nancy Sinatra‘s hair, glasses and athletic jacket are a testament to the fact that you really can’t take the Jersey out of the girl.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Foolish athletes! Don’t you know who the real stars are?! While the football players did all the work on the field, stars like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, and Ashton Kutcher showed up at the Super Bowl to hog all the attention and bask in the glow of the photographers’ cameras.
Kim Kardashian was there too, but she stayed surprisingly hidden during the game. Surely she was nervous watching her boyfriend Reggie Bush help to snag a win for New Orleans and probably wanted to bite her nails in private. But once Reggie and the Saints landed the trophy, ol’ Kimmy was back in front of the cameras, celebrating on the field like she had just won the game and posting a bunch of exclamation-filled tweets. Pics below.