by (@katespencer)

Heidi Montag Has Her Cake And Eats It Too

Happy staged birthday, Heidi Montag. It must have been kinda sad to know in advance what gifts you were getting – a new purse and YSL ankle booties, OMG! – but you fake it so well. We consider your acting skills to be a birthday gift – to us. Also, that’s a pretty tall glass of champagne there. We know it takes a substantial amount of booze to stomach looking at Spencer, but check yourself before you wreck yourself (anymore than you already have).

[Photos: Pacific Coast News]


Heidi Montag Turns 22, Looks 62

Happy birthday to…yeow! Heidi Montag may be turning 22 today, but you wouldn’t guess her youth based on these recent red carpet shots (nice plaid, Spencer). There’s flapper chic and then there’s AARP chic, Heidi. As Dlisted put it, “Cindy McCain called, she wants her hair back.”

[Photo: Splash News Online]


Dull Plastic Woman To Be Made Into Dull Plastic Doll

“If at first you don’t succeed…” goes the old adage, and Heidi Montag is definitely adhering to it. After trying her hand (and failing) at both playing herself on a reality television show and a singing career, Heidi’s trying for something a little bit more believable to the consumer public — being an inanimate object with fake plastic hair. That’s right, Heidi’s getting her very own Barbie doll.

“We just talked to Mattel yesterday, and we are already working on our own Ken and Barbie,” Spencer Pratt, Heidi’s creepy svengali boyfriend, confirmed. And while both can’t sing, there are several upgrades Doll Heidi will undergo that Real Heidi lacks. Just to name a few:

* Better taste in men
* More expression in eyes
* Reproduction not an option


Afternoon Snack: Heidi Montag’s Skin And Bones

Last night, Heidi Montag showed up with boyfriend Spencer Pratt to Hollywood’s club Avalon for an XBox party. Good thing it wasn’t a Wii bash: With how thin she’s becoming, she probably wouldn’t be able to muster the energy for a game of video tennis or yoga. [Photo: X-17 Online]


Lauren Laughs At Heidi Montag’s Music

The Hills star Lauren “LC” Conrad stopped by Jimmy Kimmel to discuss her clothing line, her hit reality show The Hills, and of course her rivalry with ex-BFF Heidi Montag. When Jimmy asks her if she has listened to Heidi’s music, she answers like most of us do:  “Not on purpose, no.” Then Jimmy plays Heidi’s “Higher” video and Lauren has her face in her hands and cannot stop hysterically laughing. Luckily she didn’t get nauseous.


Heidi And Spencer To Open Bar In NYC

Update: Spencer denies opening bar in NYC

Uh oh …first Whitney Port was asked to go bi-coastal for her job on The Hills and now Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are East-Coast bound, too. W magazine spills the beans that Speidi was spotted scoping out locations in New York City to open “an upscale sports lounge” where dudes can feel comfortable ordering for their ladies while simultaneously preparing to take over the world.

The pair settled on Murray Hill, otherwise known as Manhattan’s premier neigh-bro-hood, where recent white-hatted college grads and the trendoid gals who love them often settle. The spot, cleverly called The Hill, replaces Dip, an all-fondue restaurant, whose website isn’t even taken down yet. Though Dip no longer occupies the space, we’re sure it will still be cheesy.


You Can Now Punch Spencer Pratt

Hills villians Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are now stars of a boxing video game. Heidi vs. Spencer is one possible matchup in the new EA “Facebreaker”  XBox 360 and Playstation video game. Watch the Ken and Barbie of MTV reality tv dropkick, punch and jab each other.  The game also supports camera attachments so you can capture your face and put it on a boxer. Now when Spencer utters obnoxious lines like saying that his and Lauren’s feud is like “trying to tell Iran and Israel to get along,” you can just punch him in the face!


Obama Wins Hearts of Hollywood, McCain Gathers Cracksquad

While we’re not suggesting our readers cast their votes in November based on celebrity endorsements, we feel it’s worthwhile to highlight the teams building on both sides. Among the A-listers, music legends and social activists that count themselves as (outspoken) supporters of Senator Barack Obama: Oprah Winfrey,, Halle Berry, Stevie Wonder, Bono, Alicia Keys, Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson — to name a few.

Senator John McCain‘s Tinseltown fan club seems much less proud of their candidate (we had trouble finding ANY photos of celebs donning McCain gear), and includes The Nanny, The Terminator, Rambo, the goth girl from The Breakfast Club, Doyle of Bio-Dome, and Hills antagonist Heidi Montag.

Sounds like six more reasons we will not be attending the Republican National Convention next week. See photos of the loud and proud Obama followers below:

[Photo at top: MGM Home Entertainment, Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, Universal Home Entertainment, Lionsgate, Pacific Coast News]


Warning: Heidi Montag’s New Video Will Make You Want To Overdose

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or blessed with good sense), you probably already know that there’s a new single called “Overdosin’” by reality TV’s Heidi Montag. It was released last Monday, and of course a video was sure to follow. Not content to roll around on a beach, lip-synching to her monotone-techno song stylings while Spencer Pratt holds the camera (ever see Best Week Ever‘s version of “Higher”?), Heidi actually employs some production value in her latest effort.

She takes a cue from Olivia Newton John in the video and gets decked out in her best Capezio and Danskin, although you can be sure Olivia never displayed so many dead-eyed crotch shots. What working out has to do with overdosin’ on love is anybody’s guess. Our theory is that the spandex is just a colorful distraction to cover up all the voice distortion.

According to news outlets, the video was supposed to debut at at 1pm EST today — and it still isn’t up. As much as we wish we weren’t interested, we have to admit that we can’t wait to see this monstrosity in its entirety. [Photos: Pacific Coast News]

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: Heidi’s Hollering Hurts Our Heart

Heidi Montag has released yet another song. We apologize in advance to your ears and your soul.  [DListed]

Tori Spelling‘s boob job makes us ill.  [Seriously? OMG]

Remember the best Intervention episode ever – the one with Allison the keyboard cleaner huffer – with these video homages.  []

Holy crap – the Jonas Brothersnew Texas mansion looks like something out a video game. It’s also big enough to house 23483958594069293095034 pairs of skinny jeans.  [CelebSlam]

Jen Aniston‘s friends defend her against Big Mouth Mayer.  [I'mNotObsessed]

Matthew McConaughey is obsessed with taking care of his son, but his baby-mamma wants to hire a nanny. Oh, the struggles of the very rich.  [ICYDK]

The Olympics may be G-rated, but the athletes are not. Check out this Swedish crossbow star Sara Boberg – totally naked. NSFW, ya know.  [WWTDD]

[Photo: Getty Images]