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R.I.P. Marriage Of Speidi: November 11, 2008 – July 30, 2010

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You might have thought that Heidi Montag was too busy working this week to do anything else (per her Twitter, she wrote 13 songs on Sunday alone, in addition to reading a book and drinking some tea!), but you’d be wrong. Heidi carved out some time to file for divorce from Spencer Pratt today – hallelujah! Montag’s lawyer, Jodeane Farrell said “Heidi has amended her petition for separation and today has filed a petition for dissolution of marriage from Spencer Pratt. The couple has agreed they would like their divorce to be finalized in a timely manner in an out of court settlement.” Like the Gosselins and Whitney and Bobby before them, we’ll plunk these two in the “divorces everyone saw coming” category, but we relish it even more.

You already knew that Spencer was prepared for this, after his admission that he’s a fame whore who prefers the spotlight to basic human decency and interaction. Now that these two are dunzo, does this mean that Lauren Conrad and Heidi can go back to being best friends? That would be so nice. Excuse us if we’re getting misty for 2006, it’s just that this divorce is the best news we’ve heard all day.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Spencer Pratt Admits He’s A Fame Whore

Another day, another douchey soundbite from Spencer Pratt. The World’s Worst Person (Crystal-Carrying Division) talked to People magazine about his breakup from Heidi Montag and claims that their marriage failed because he cherished his “fame” too much. (We use quotes because we think being famous is something very different from being universally reviled.)

“We love each other but I’m a famewhore and I’ll never grow out of it,” Spencer said. “[Heidi] knows that and doesn’t want that. I want every kind of press. She believes in bad press. There’s no way my love for fame and her love for puppies will ever work out successfully. She just wants to hike and hang out and be calmer.” Dare we say we actually  think Heidi sounds like she actually has some of her sh*t together if that’s really true? Girl’s got a decent head on her scooped-out and surgically enhanced shoulders.

Pratt said the relationship crapped out after Heidi realized that Spencer was never going to change his dickish ways. “She thought I’d burn out of this, but no, I’m still the same Spencer who went on The Hills to be famous. I still need to do stunts and take cues from Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise.” You guys know famous cyber-crime fighting reality whores Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, don’t you? As obnoxious as Spencer and this interview are, at least he makes Heidi sound human. And that’s about the nicest compliment Spencer is capable of.

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A Marriage Remembered: The 20 Cheesiest Moments Of The Speidi Romance

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With the announcement of Heidi Montag‘s legal separation from Spencer Pratt, we here at TheFABlife are mourning not only the deterioration of their one-year marriage, but also the end of an onslaught of cringe-inducing, ridiculously over-staged pictures that captured the most absurd moments of their relationship. 

From fondling puppies to frolicking in the ocean, the two The Hills stars gave us a bevy of surgically enhanced Kodak moments that consistently made us want to vomit. Now that the marriage is over, we no longer will open the “Stars: Just Like Us” pages of UsWeekly to find these photos of fantastical fame-whoring; at least not until, if the fake break up rumors are true, they find a television show that will air their surely overdramatic reunion. For now, we will just hold on to these top twenty cheesiest photo-ops of the Speidi romance.

View Photo Gallery

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Heidi Montag Files For Legal Separation From Spencer

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Despite endless gossip that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt‘s split is a hoax, Heidi went and filed for legal separation from Spencer early today in Santa Monica. Citing irreconcilable differences, Heidi claimed the pair held no “assets or debts,” which TMZ notes either means Speidi is broke or already had a pre-nup. If it’s the latter, this separation doesn’t actually mean much; while a step towards divorcing, the separation just means the money she makes is hers from here on out—a moot point if their assets are already safe.

Issues like that are part of why this move shouldn’t stop speculation about whether the split is legit. Heidi’s Spencer-produced Hills spin-off has yet to be sold, and all the chatter about their master plan (not helped by roommate Jennifer Bunney blabbing about Spencer’s involvement in the project) could keep networks from wanting to pick up the project. If a legal filing or two is required to make the drama more genuine, we wouldn’t past these two to do it!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Report: Spencer And Heidi Are Broke. Thanks A Lot, Energy Crystals!

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Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are full of cunning and trickery  - take for instance, the fact that we still aren’t sure if Speidi’s “breakup” is real or just for the cameras that seem to shadow them wherever they go. So we pretty much take any news story about them with a grain of salt, but we’re hoping in a schadenfreude kind of way that the report about them being flat broke is true.

Radar is reporting that the poster children for sociopathic narcissism led such extravagant lives (for instance, paying a friend $100 just to take out their garbage) that they have run out of money, and that led them to break up. The trouble started when Spencer was kicked off The Hills, which meant the paychecks stopped rolling in. The friend also reports that another reason for their lack on money is that Spencer admits to spending a half a million dollars on his energy crystals. Pratt said earlier this year “I am so addicted to crystals, it’s like a sickness. I’ve spent $500,000 on crystals this year. I checked my bank account last night, and I have $203 left. There’s a whole science to this. I’m not crazy.” Let’s see, between the two of you, you guys have spent your life’s savings on crystals and back-scoopage? Actually, crazy is the only word we’d use to describe you.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Roommate All But Admits Speidi’s Split Is Fake

Heidi Montag might have wanted to sell her planned reality show before letting roommate and fellow Hills exile Jennifer Bunney speak to the press about it. Talking to Us about Heidi’s split from husband Spencer Pratt, Bunney sounds less like a concerned friend discussing a potential divorce than a shill hawking the next season of a TV drama—which she basically is! “They were waiting for The Hills to be over to split. Now she doesn’t have to pretend,” said Bunney, not explaining why splitting on the old show would be “pretending” while splitting now would be “real.” Bunney also says Spencer’s reaction to Heidi’s departure “will be a big aspect of our show.” Gentlemanly of him to let his ex film his alleged heartbreak, isn’t it? Then again, Spencer’s producing the show!

Us‘ anonymous sources—like all the others discussing Heidi’s “alone time”—are even less discreet. “Heidi and Spencer are laughing over [the gossip] and having a blast,” says one. “This breakup is the latest part of Spencer’s master plan,” says another. But will a network sign on for their puppet show if the strings are already showing? Still, we’ll be bummed if their drama—fake or not—doesn’t make it on to TV. Crazy like a fox is still crazy!

[Photo: .com]

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Heidi Montag Wants “Alone Time”: Is The Split Just For A New Show?

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With professional reality stars like Heidi Montag, its hard to tell where the real life begins and its exploitation ends. Is Heidi leaving psycho husband Spencer Pratt for a better life or just a better plot line? Heidi’s roommate Jennifer Bunney has already admitted they’ll be filming a new show this Summer—and that Spencer will be part of it (“The show is going to focus on our friendship, getting through things with each other like marriage stuff and boyfriend stuff,” Bunney told Radar). “I needed some alone time,” Heidi told People, saying she and Spencer were “working on things.”

But between Heidi’s excited summer tweets and the focus of her new show, one can be forgiven for assuming the alleged “split” is totally fabricated. “It’s really just another one of Spencer’s publicity stunts,” a source tells PopEater. “They really are still together. This will all be revealed in time. They aren’t going to separate. It’s all a part of Heidi’s new show.” While we would have been happy to watch these two preen and photo op, it’s not surprising their post-Hills debut would require a little more drama than that. But considering how long it took them to get legally married, it should be a long while before they legally separate.

[Photo: Getty Images]