The second episode of The Hills‘ final season [sigh of relief] aired last night, and true to form what lasted 30 minutes can easily be summed up in 30 seconds. To recap the drug use accusations, DD (soon-to-be-H) boobs, and plenty o’ vacant stares, we’re presenting you with the most concise summary on the internet, after the jump.
In case you wondered what Speidi’s next reality show would be like—here’s a big, big clue. Heidi Montag is reportedly looking for an unlicensed European doctor willing to perform another breast enhancement. “She wants to do it within the next two months and film it for the new TV show she and Spencer have been pitching,” an insider told Life & Style. Hubbie Spencer Pratt explained this has nothing to do with gawkers being used to the old model. “When Heidi woke up from the anesthesia [last time], she was angry [her breasts] weren’t bigger. She said she wanted to punch the doctor in the face. I try to stop her. She’ll do what she wants with her body.”
Spencer blames Ryan Seacrest for driving his wife over the edge on his radio show. “When Heidi entered the studio, Ryan told her that her breasts didn’t look that big to him,” not realizing she didn’t think they were ridiculous enough. “She was taken aback. She came home in shock.” Sounds like she won’t rest until they’re bigger than Seacrest! Will this news bring them a new TV deal or scare away the networks?
[Photo: Getty Images]
Fake reality show fans, listen up! The upcoming season of The Hills marks the end of the show, but it may get an extension. If Kristin Cavallari has her way, the gang of ne’er-do-anythings might add an additional twelve episodes to the show’s roster, making for one super-sized final season.
Cavallari told E! Online “There’s a possibility of them ordering 12 more episodes.” She loves being back on the show and explained “I’m in such a rhythm with things and I’m having a great time. We’re just now starting to get into some really good juicy stuff with a few new people. So I think we could do another 12 episodes and make it pretty good.” One reason it may be easier to film additional episodes could be the absence of Spencer Pratt. Cavallari confirmed that Spencer “got kicked off the show like a month and a half ago. He’s done; he’s completely done.” And it has nothing to do with Spencer’s new job fighting cyber crime either, Cavallari confirmed to Regis and Kelly that the reason for his exit is because Spencer threatened a Hills producer’s life. Weird, he didn’t Twitter about that.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Supermodel Paulina Porizkova had some choice words to say about fellow plastic surgery patients Heidi Montag, Madonna and Kate Hudson, in a blog post she wrote for Modelinia.com.
Apart from calling The Hills star a “cheap plastic pool float,” she had this to say about Madge, “Madonna no longer looks like Madonna: what started as a sexy, well-shaped, and somewhat hairy Italian girl has ended as a cool Nordic blonde . . . she is starting to sort of melt away into the stew of the famous women over-fifty-high-cheek- boned blondes-who-cannot-frown.”
As for Kate Hudson, who is rumored to recently have gone for breast implants, Porizkova had this to say, ” She just looks like any California blond actress. Instead of enhancing, she has diminished herself.”
Ouch. We know Spencer Pratt will have something to say about Paulina’s comments, but will any of the ladies respond with their own insults aimed at the fomer supermodel?
Spencer Pratt may have expressed some concerns about Heidi Montag‘s plastic surgery when the latest model of his Stepford Wife was revealed last January (“I’m her husband—not her owner…I may not be okay with things, but it’s not my call”), but the same supportive nature that forced him to repress such qualms has now made him a silicone enthusiast. How else can we explain his mockery of Kate Hudson‘s alleged boob job on Twitter? “How is it possible to get breast implants and still not have breasts! – Kate H – get ur money back… I gotta guy who will hook you up!”
Spencer has been on attack mode ever since Audrina Patridge dared to discuss Heidi’s health with George Lopez, joining the choir on Ke$ha’s SNL performance (“looks like a dragon on E threw up on a super hero outfit”) and slamming everyone from Snooki (“I’m coming for you…shark fin in the water…watch out…”) to Lauren Conrad (“Heard you were pitching a show about your fashion line. What’s it called ‘for sale’ or ‘discount rack’?”) to Al Qaeda (“Getting it done. Can’t hide from us…”). “Feeling this free speech today,” he exclaimed. “Can’t shut me down. U feel me?”
Check out the gallery of Kate before and after her alleged operation (one Us Weekly rumor and we can’t stop staring!). R U feeling Spencer on this or R U wishing he’d tweet in hell?
[Photos: Splash News Online/Getty Images]
Add this to the list of things Heidi Montag is doing to stay relevant in the wake of The Hills‘ cancellation: she is considering pressing charges against the show’s creator, Adam DiVello, for inappropriate sexual behavior.
Montag claims that after she got her plastic surgeries, DiVello groped her newly scooped-out back and plumped-up ass. Meanwhile, Lauren Conrad says that Heidi’s accusations are false, telling Us magazine “I am in utter shock at the allegations made against Adam DiVello. Not only are they completely absurd, but they are 100 percent without merit. Adam is a true professional and a wonderful person to work for.”
A source told Perez Hilton that “tension on the set of The Hills has truly escalated in the last few weeks and Spencer and Heidi are very close to bringing legal action against the show,” as a result of the inappropriate behavior toward Heidi. DiVello’s unwanted touching is the reason she has started traveling with an entourage of security lately. The source, clearly someone from Team Heidi and not a neutral party, also said “Adam can get away with that with the Audrinas and Kristins of reality TV but not with Heidi! He is a pervert and a creep. The other girls dont feel they can’t defend themselves because they are afraid they will lose their job if they talk about the man’s workplace behavior. Heidi will not tolerate sexual assault in the workplace!” Not to diminish the point, but, um, they’ve already lost their jobs, right? This kind of behavior though IS creepy and unacceptable, but no charges have officially been filed against DiVello, and MTV spokesperson told Us “We have looked into this matter and the allegations made against Adam DiVello are completely false and without merit.” [Photo: Getty Images]
What is left to say about Heidi Montag‘s deformed and inflated body? It appears that her plastic surgeon sliced out her happiness when he was scooping out Heidi’s back fat, ‘cuz she now looks like the world’s most miserable blow up sex doll. But hey, we guess she paid all that money to get chopped up into a tinier, bustier robot so she could sit around in a bikini all day, so this must be what she considers success. Congrats on all you’ve accomplished, Heidi! So what if you scare small children with your canon ball breasts in the process.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Who knew that People’s Revolution reject and Nana-ignoring granddaughter Stephanie Pratt would end up being one of the most sympathetic people to come out of The Hills? We started to love Stephanie more when she showed up to mock herself on The Soup last year, and our feelings continue to soften now that she admits that she is cut off from her brother-monster Spencer.
“I haven’t talked to Heidi or Spencer since September,” Stephanie told Fancast.com. “I feel so dumb not to know what’s going on with my family. But they’ve decided they don’t want me in their life, so I don’t know what’s going on with them.” Stephanie continued, “It’s sad. I’m kind of mourning the loss of him. But that’s his choice. He cut a lot of his friends out. I don’t know what’s going on with him.”
Maybe he’s just trying to make his move to Costa Rica easier on himself? We would never advocate the ripping apart of a family, but in the case of the Pratts, we have to say that maybe Stephanie is making out okay in this situation. [Photo: Getty Images]
We’re not really sure how long this will last, but word has it that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are getting set to move to Costa Rica. Heidi probably just wants to frolic on the beaches showing off her new bikini body, but we won’t miss them while they’re gone.
Read the full story at LimeLife.
Yes, apparently that IS a thing. Heidi Montag revealed to Ryan Seacrest that in addition to the 10 surgeries she had recently in her attempt to transform into a robot, she also had her back scooped and had her waist “cinched.”
In true Heidi fashion, she has no idea what that procedure actually entails, telling Ryan, “I actually didn’t know. I might be the first one to try it. It carves out your back a little bit.”
[Vomit break #2.]
The downside to having her body fat removed with an ice cream scooper is that Heidi can no longer embrace humans because her bot-boobs get in the way. “I’m very weird about hugging people now,” she says. “[My body] is very fragile.”
Shall we vomit again?
[Photo: Splash News Online]