by (@TaylorFerber)

Take Notes, Ladies! These Hunks From The Bachelor Are Still Searching For Love

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After watching them awkwardly date on national TV, these bachelors are still on the prowl. So we can’t help but wonder: Why are they still single?

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Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka And Danielle Staub Shooting New Reality Show?

Well, this looks promising! The HillsHeidi Montag, former Bachelor Jake Pavelka, and Real Housewives anti-hero Danielle Staub were spotted shooting scenes in Hollywood for a new reality show, allegedly set to air on VH1. They are revamping a restaurant from the ground up,” a source told People. “They started shooting this past weekend.” All three stars gave affirmative, if vague, comments on the matter, with Montag tweeting the mind-blower “imagine if Chekov & Tolstoy wrote for reality TV.” Should we expect something really long and Russian then?

See photos from this meeting of the minds in the gallery—including Elliott Spitzer‘s favorite call girl Ashley Dupre—below. If Jake’s half as bitchy to Danielle as he was to his one-time fiancee on the Bachelor reunion special, this should get dramatic fast!

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The Bachelor Stars Jake And Vienna Break Up

Ah, young love – so fleeting, so fickle. Especially when it’s created in a studio and hinges on rose ceremonies. It’s with a heavy heart that we report that last season’s stars of The Bachelor, Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi have broken up after eight months and a season of Dancing With The Stars together.

Pavelka and Girardi, the subjects of our favorite awkward photo op, are the latest in a long line of failed engagements created by The Bachelor – they are actually the unlucky 13th couple to end their romance, something just about everyone saw coming. Seriously, this show should just be renamed The Temporary, Average Boyfriend And The Girl People Don’t Trust.

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Kate Gosselin Ready To Date Again After “Paparazzi” Dance

While Kate Gosselin and Tony Dovolani didn’t deliver on that divorce-themed dance we got so excited for on Dancing With The Stars last night (could they not score the rights for him to wear Ed Hardy?), we were still blessed with a paso doble to Lady Gaga‘s “Paparazzi,” in which the stone-faced reality mom clung to a pap played by Dovolani—when she wasn’t throwing punches at him. The judges weren’t impressed, but we were still grateful to witness the sorry spectacle that is all things Gosselin become even sorrier. They promised a new low—and they delivered!

After the cathartic dance, Kate revealed to Radar she can finally imagine dating again, even if the chances are slim. “”I look at the paparazzi as just another piece of baggage, like why someone’s never gonna wanna date me. I mean, let’s think: the girl with eight kids, and she had this reality show…yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re gonna come running…Hey, if anybody’s out there brave enough or great enough, let’s bring ‘em on.” If the Enquirer can be believed, Kate’s first choice would be engaged Bachelor and fellow contestant Jake Pavelka. “Kate’s never looked better, so she feels she could snare a hot guy like Jake,” says their source.” She also believes all’s fair in love and war. Since Jake isn’t married yet, she thinks he’s fair game.” Hey, picking Vienna is one thing, but it’s not like the guy is addicted to poor choices…is he?

by (@katespencer)

DWTS: Pam Anderson’s Aunt Vie Is The Real Winner

We watched Dancing With The Stars for the first time last night and, holy mediocrity, is that show a load of glittery diarrhea. Really America? This is what you’ve spent the last few years blowing your media load over? It only took two hours for us to tire of the blow outs, the Russian accents and the stiff stick arms (we hope Erin Andrews and Nicole Scherzinger stuffed themselves at In N Out Burger after the show), but we’re going to suffer through it for one reason and one reason only: Pam Anderson’s Aunt Vie.

So much made sense after seeing that goddess shuffling around her kitchen: 1. we now know where Pam gets her drop dead gorgeous looks from and 2. we also know how Pam’s going to age, and we hope it involves lots of black hair dye. We’ll call in and vote for Pammy every week if it means we get to see Aunt Vie shimmy around in her Sunday best. Plus we’ll be doing Pam’s dancing partner a favor, as she’s clearly one rehearsal away from cha-chaing onto to his penis.

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Worst Photo-Op Ever: Bachelor Edition

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Sure, they look like they’re having fun and are in love, we guess, but The Bachelor‘s newly engaged stars, Jake Pavelka and fianceé Vienna Girardi haven’t yet mastered the candid paparazzi photo. Here, Jake manages to look like he’s carrying Vienna to her wheelchair and slooowly loses his grip on her. (We completely understand how horrible that makes us sound, but LOOK at this picture and tell us you don’t see it too.) Practice for when they grow old together, we guess! [Photo: Splash News Online]