We know it’s selfish, but we hate it when a genius performer feels like he or she has to “spread their wings” and “do something new” with their “craft.” Remember when Robin Williams was in One Hour Photo? We could never watch Bicentennial Man again! Which is why we are so, so glad to see that it’s business as usual for James Franco in his new Spring Breakers clip. “This is my f—ing dream, y’all. All this s—. Look at my s—. I got shorts, every f—ing color. Designer t-shirts. Gold bullets. Motherf—ing vampires,” he mumbles through gold teeth in the teaser. Mothereffing. Vampires. As Franco rants we see a wall of guns, then a wall of hats. Oh, and his character’s name is Alien. It all feels so familiar, like coming home. Coming home to James Franco’s house, where you look over and see a wall of guns, and a wall of hats.
We knew James’ role was going to be beautifully weird based on set photos alone (plus the firstSpring Breakers clip was great) but we had no idea we’d get to look forward to “a scene where Franco sings the [Britney] Spears classic ‘Everytime’ while [Vanessa] Hudgens waves a machine gun over her head” in the film. As it should be. As it should be.
Oh, so you thought Spring Breakerswas just a movie about neon bikinis, bad dye jobs and scooters? Think again, amigos. It’a also about existential despair. That’s what we’re picking up from the first clip from Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez and Ashley Benson‘s dark comedy anyway. “I’m so tired of seeing the same thing every single day. Everybody’s miserable here because everybody sees the same things. They wake up in the same bed in the same houses,” Selena intones in the video, as Vanessa, um, faux-shoots herself in the head with her finger gun. And are they in a jail cell? Yikes. This clip real bums us out. It bums us out so much, in fact, that we completely understand why they would follow (let alone speak to) a corn-rowed, Hawaiian shirt-wearing James Franco. In fact, if Party Time James Franco strolled into our cubicle right now, we’d finish our sandwich and go drive his getaway car.
We guess our only question is: is anyone perturbed seeing Gomez get so grim? (Or Pretty Little Liars‘ Benson?)(Or Hudgens, while we’re at it?) “People will be a little shocked, I think. I’m a little nervous about it, but honestly, it’s a right step for me, I’m really proud of it,” Selena told MTV back in June. “I think as an actress it really challenged me. All of the other actresses are also trying to prove themselves, so it was just really, really fun.” Is Selena’s morose turn jarring to you, or does it have you secretly psyched to see her run wild in the streets? Or does it just make you want to go lie down under some blankets?
Clear out your desk, James Franco! Looks we got a regular Daniel Day Lewis on our hands. (Gangs of New York Daniel Day Lewis, not My Left Foot Daniel Day Lewis. Let’s not get crazy.) You know who is getting crazy, though? Shia LaBeouf, as he tries out a bunch of edgy method acting techniques like actually dropping acid for an LSD scene in his upcoming flick The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman. “There’s a way to do an acid trip like Harold & Kumar, and there’s a way to be on acid,” the actor told USA Today about the experience. “What I know of acting, Sean Penn actually strapped up to that [electric] chair in Dead Man Walking. These are the guys that I look up to.” Jeez Franco, how are you going to top this? Drinking a little salvia in About Cherry just isn’t going to cut it next to Shia!
LaBeouf’s intensity seems to have started with his naked Sigor Rus video, and the nudity has only continued. “I don’t know what’s going to be asked of me,” the actor said of having actual sex in Lars Von Trier‘s upcoming Nymphomaniac. “But I’m willing to do whatever is asked of me to get closer to the truth that’s on the page.” Frankly, that makes the fact LaBeouf was drunk while shooting Lawless look downright normal. “He says go off for five minutes through the woods and get there,” Shia said of director John Hillcoat instructing him to booze it up. “It took away a lot of my inhibitions, just made it easy to actually be in the scene, and in the moment.” Cut to Jame Franco frantically researching whether he can somehow give birth on-camera. If anyone can do it, it’s you, James. It’s you.
What’s grosser: the fact that James Franco drinks a spit-laced cocktail in Vulture’s new exclusive clip from his porn movie About Cherry, the fact that James Franco drinking a spit-laced drink is supposed to be sexy, or the fact that James Franco drinking a spit-laced drink is actually kind of sexy? Ugh, we know. We can’t help it! We suffer from severe Francophrenia! Of course, drinking another human’s saliva as a flirtation tactic isn’t the only weird thing James Franco has done for his art. In fact, it barely makes it into the top five:
Twilight isn’t the only phenomenon to hit Comic-Con this year! While we were super stoked to see the Breaking Dawn cast at their panel discussion, this little tidbit of news has us beside ourselves with glee! Wizard of Oz fans, please stand up! Did you know that Disney is releasing their version of the classic tale next year, which is being directed by Sam Raimi. They released the first footage from the film yesterday, and the movie is called Oz The Great And Powerful. It’s actually a prequel to the regular Wizard of Oz, and stars James Franco as Oscar Diggs, a magician from Kansas who is carried away to Oz by, you guessed it, a tornado. Then we have the witches — Theodora, Evanora and Glinda — played by Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz and Michelle Williams respectively, with incredible wardrobes, FYI. They’re a bit disillusioned by Oz, and it’s up to Diggs to find his way through to the truth and realize what, or who, is good and bad. The trailer itself is just magical and gave us chills, segueing from the darkly whimsical, black-and-white world of Kansas to the technicolor world of Oz. “Am I dreaming,” Franco wonders, as he walks through the fantastical realm. “Are you the great man we’ve been waiting for,” floats into the voice-over. Watch the trailer, and ask those questions too.
Good lord in Fugven! The wardrobe on Reese Witherspoon in Devil’s Own and Elizabeth Olsen in Very Good Girls has our eyebrows kissing the top of our heads. See, this is what can happen when they try to make the beautiful people look less beautiful: they transform a beautiful person…into a blazing hot mess. That paisley? How? What? Wha? No!
Now, fugly wardrobe is not to be confused with an actor or actress who purposely become less hot in order to transform into an actual preexisting human being (Charlize Theron in Monster, anyone?), like those Oscar nominees featured in our list of Scarily Accurate Historical Figure Portrayals. It is simply a costume that was carefully hand-selected by a film’s wardrobe department to depict a certain time period or personal style…and also happens to be very, very, very fugly. Reese and Elizabeth, you know what we’re talking about. Why does Dakota Fanning look relatively normal and Elizabeth have that monstrous shirt on? Okay, sorry. Let us do our breathing exercises for a second. You can’t see it, but we’re shaking our heads on your behalf, ladies, and on behalf of everyone else on our Fugliest Movie Wardrobe list:
It will go with the Taran Killam“Call Your Girlfriend” lipdub you got him for his birthday! What father wouldn’t want a shaky video of actor James Franco dressed in smeary drag belting out Robyn‘s “Call Your Girlfriend”? What’s that? Almost all fathers? Well, surely some dads out there would be thrilled by Franco’s emphatic crooning, which he posted to Twitter with the message “happy father’s day.” That being said, we’re betting not one parent of either sex would approve of the driving style preferred by the Spring Breakers actor and his friends. You are in a car, people! Wait until you’re in your dressing room before you start sassily pouting in a mirror!
While we believe this is Franco’s first vid to feature a full face of lady makeup, it’s certainly not the first musical gift he’s tried to bestow on the fathers of the world and/or everyone else; lest we forget, James also has Rihanna‘s “You Da One” and Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe” under his musically deranged belt. On a completely unrelated note….does anyone else think Franco looks kind of hot like this? Just a little? Dads? Okay, okay, sorry we asked!
Looks like James Franco finally past all that salacious “teenage sex” in Breaking Dawn-Part 1, and has fully embraced his love of Kristen Stewart. Like…more than fully. In his review of Snow White and The Huntsman for The Huffington Post entitled “Kristen Stewart the Queen,” the actor sounds like us when we saw KStew’s MTV Movie Awards outfit for the first time: breathless, awed and secretly jealous we don’t look that good in a dress. But like any new Kristen Konvert, it wasn’t enough for Franco to just say he liked the flick; instead, he set his compliments to Swoon. Our favorite flattering KStew comments included:
“Is Kristen just a pouty Vampire lover riding a temporary wave of pop culture madness, or is she the real deal? I believe that they [KStew and Chris Hemsworth] are both talented and special performers who make the most of their material in this film.”
“[W]hereas Snow White would more than likely be inarticulate, diseased and frail after being confined in a tower for 10 years, Kristen Stewart landed Twilight after years of working with some of the best directors in the business (David Fincher, Sean Penn). She actually does deserve the crown.” Read more…
The Mayans predicted it centuries ago! You are going to see End of The World when it comes out next summer because it has each and every one of your favorite people in it! For example, Rihanna and Emma Watson were caught running in terror on the film’s set in New Orleans today, and we know how much you like them. Joining the ladies for their last fictitious moments on earth were Jonah Hill, Aziz Ansari, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Mindy Kaling, Michael Cera and a host of other celebrities you’d want to hold hands with as the moon crashes into the sea. We call Jonah and Mindy!
Actually, the way in which the planet meets its demise in Seth Rogen‘s directorial debut is still a mystery. According to Splash, while filming on the lawn of what is supposed to be James Franco‘s house (note: genius), “the cast were highly animated whilst following a marker that will later be transformed using CGI” into what we’re assuming will be your classic Death Meteor. Wait a minute…if the Mayans are right, we’ll never get to see this movie! That’s a deep cut, Mayans. We’re going to hope for your sake that you’re wrong, in case we see you in the afterlife…
Look, we’ve been enjoying the non-stop parade of bikinis and peroxide and hijinks and corn-rowed James Franco from the set of Harmony Korine‘s upcoming movieSpring Breakers as much as anyone else. So why do we have to ruin the good times by seeing this photo of Franco pointing two guns at costars Ashley Benson’s and Vanessa Hudgens‘ heads in the latest issue of Interview magazine? Why? On a related note, what exactly is the message of this photo, taken by photographer Jonathan Durbin, when paired with all the florescent two-pieces and hysterical giggling in the other photos? “Woooo! Spring break! Massive head wounds are the shiznit! Jägerbombs! Tickets on sale now!” Thanks but no thanks, guys! We have to go stare at our hands and think about the nature of humanity when we could be logging onto Fandango.
Listen, we love boobs and butts and dude’s bare chests as much as the next blog. You know we do. Maybe more than anything, really. Plus, we know controversial and/or awful photos like this are usually taken for the express purpose of getting people all riled up, thus generating more buzz around a particular film. However! When it comes to gun violence, we are total prudes. Super prudes about guns being aimed at people’s heads, that’s us. Vanessa and Ashley, this is bad enough on your end, but Franco? We could not be more disappointed in you. Isn’t that shirt offensive enough?