Courtney Stodden‘s Funny Or Die video is funny, right? It’s also really weird and uncomfortable and off-putting, correct? In the video which premiered today, Courtney and husband Doug Hutchison riff on their reputation as the world’s most inappropriate couple with Jason Alexander‘s talk show host Danny Clay. If only it had stopped there. Or before it started. Call us old-fashioned, but we personally do not want to watch any Seinfeld star act like a total pervert toward a teenage girl. Jason made a great creep in Pretty Woman, but we’re past that nowm as a culture. Some other bizarre elements of the video we’d like you to consider include:
Jason Alexander’s toupee.
Jason Alexander ogling Courtney’s bikini-clad chesticles with a phone for some reason.
Jason Alexander’s toupee.
The fact that Courtney is only 17-years old (Note: not necessarily specific to this video).
Doug’s expressionless face being smacked over and over again.
The fact that Courtney and Doug somehow seem like the most normal elements of this sketch.
Jason. Alexander’s. Toupee.
That being said, we did love Doug’s claim that they made out at his Uncle Stevie’s funeral. Haha, those two would! They really would! Maybe if Courtney and Doug had just made some more, increasingly inappropriate romantic claims, this video wouldn’t have turned out so cringe-worthy. Claims like, “We’re so in love, we eat each other’s fingernail clippings!,” because, according to them, they are. And as far as we know…they do.
Let’s all say it at once: if only BritBit had married the otherJason Alexander. George might have called Britney Spears’ engagement to Jason Trawick “fake,” but at least he’d have the decency to do it behind her back/ while enjoying some delicious rice pudding with Jerry at the diner. Spears’ real-life ex, however has gone directly to the media with his allegations. “I know everyone wants me to be happy about this, but I am not,” Alexander toldUs about his ex-wife’s impending nuptials. “I think it’s fake and I think people are afraid to say it.” To be fair, we’re guessing the man who was married to Britney for less than three days would know from fake. Can we get KFed in here to show the boy how to act right?
This isn’t the first time Britney’s first husband has gone after after Trawick, either. Last December Jason Alexander even alleged domestic violence; â€œBritney is in an abusive relationship. She told me her life had turned into a nightmare,” he told Star. “Sort of a nice way to sew it all up she marries her handler,” Husband #1 snarks now, referring to Trawick’s former role as Spears’ manager. “That way she always has someone controlling her. It’s sort of sad.” Can we as a culture just collectively agree to pretend she married the other Jason Alexander? Just change Britney’s Wiki article and our children will never know the difference!
Camp Britney has responded to ex-husband Jason Alexander‘s abuse allegations against Britney’s boyfriend Jason Trawick. “Every aspect of the story published by Star Magazine is completely and utterly false and Star Magazine was informed of the falsity of this story before it was published. The statements attributed to Jason Alexander are a complete fabrication as Britney has not had any form of communication with Mr. Alexander in years.”
“The audio recording posted on Radaronline this morning purporting to be between Britney Spears and Jason Alexander is so obviously fake as to be laughable. Suffice it to say, that Jason Trawick has never laid a hand on Britney.” The statement ends with the warning, “…These irresponsible statements are defamatory and Britney Spears’ legal team will be taking legal action against all of the appropriate parties.”
Brit’s showing her staunch support of her man, visiting Trawick at work yesterday. Not that any of this is stopping people from digging up more dirt. RadarOnline has produced more tapes of alleged conversations between Spears and Alexander. In this round, Alexander supposedly asks the pop star, “I mean, why isn’t he in jail, baby?” In response, an apparent Britney reveals, “Because I didn’t want the public knowing about it and I didn’t want to file anything, so everyone could find out. So I’ve just left him and changed my number.” Alexander has also stepped up to stand by his statements reporting, “I completely stand behind my story…that is absolutely my ex wife Britney Spears on that tape. I grew up with her since I was in 4th grade and I know what she sounds like. She has been calling me for years.”
So who’s telling the truth? For Britney’s sake, we hope her side of the story is the right one.