Heads up, Hallmark, it’s Crazy Celebrity Arrest week starring Taylor Swift! But don’t worry Team T-Swizzle, it’s not in the way you think. In addition to her full schedule of buying houses and dropping singles, Taylor somehow managed to cause Crocs footwear founder George Boedecker to get a DUI…without even being in the same state! At least that’s what the shoe baron drunkenly claimed. In a tale as ridiculous as Crocs themselves, the 51 year old Boedecker was discovered passed out at the wheel of his Porsche in Boulder, Colorado. According to TheSmokingGun.com, police arrived to find him being treated by EMTs, who diagnosed Boedecker as being “drunk as crap.” It’s unclear exactly why he drank so much, but then again if we invented the ugliest shoe known to human-kind we’d probably drink to forget, too.
When questioned by police, he insisted that he was merely napping and that his “girlfriend” was driving the car. Who was this girlfriend, you ask? “A really f—ing famous [singer],” he told authorities, before coyly asking if they had ever heard of Taylor Swift. When cops asked where this non-present girlfriend was at the moment, Boedecker claimed that she had gone back to Nashville after an argument and that she was “batsh– crazy.” It seems like someone’s definitely batsh– crazy in this story, and it doesn’t seem like it’s Taylor. But the best part of the whole incident? George was reportedly wearing flip-flops, which just proves that no one likes Crocs.
Incredibly, this may not be the most insane celebrity arrest of the day. MMA fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller was found sleeping naked on a couch in an Orange County-area church this morning. The pastor saw signs of a break-in at the Mission Viejo’s Mission Hills Church and phoned the authorizes, who discovered the first floor in complete disarray with walls spray painted and books strewn across the ground. It was mayhem, in every sense of the word.