by (@missmuttoo)

Jessica Alba Is A Super Spy Step-Mom In Spy Kids 4: All The Time In The World

Spy Kids 4: All The Time In the World looks like a blast and we’re totally going to watch it. There…we said it. We haven’t been huge fans of the Spy Kids franchise so far because the graphics always seemed a little cheesy (though our little nieces and nephews loved them). But this fourth installment seems to have sorted out its technical issues. It also helps that the film has Joel McHale (we’re big Community fans) and Jessica Alba, as the bewildered dad and alter ego’d mom. We’re really liking Jess in this, especially when she goes all slinky in her spy mode! Add two cool kid actors (Rowan Blanchard and Mason Cook) who aren’t precious at all and a robot British accented dog who kicks butt and we’re sold! Extra bonus: Jeremy Piven is in this too!

by (@hallekiefer)

Jeremy Piven Denies Filling Charlie Sheen’s Enchanted Warlock Shoes

Hmm, now this we would have liked. Jeremy Piven is the first suggestion with the kind of devil-may-care, got-out-of-a-contract-via-mercury-poisoning attitude that we’d like to see slip into Charlie Sheen‘s tiger-blood-soaked shoes. No offense, Rob Lowe; maybe if this was 1988.  Unfortunately Jeremy Piven has denied he’ll replace Charlie Sheen on Two And A Half Men. “No one connected in any way with Jeremy knows anything about this and that would include Jeremy,” Piven’s rep Stan Rosenfeld claims, which is really too bad. How many other actors will get into a verbal altercation with Chris Kattan in their lifetime? Roughly two, once Charlie thinks of it.

Unfortunately, the likelihood that Charlie will replace himself on the hit sitcom is also looking pretty slim, as today a judge denied Sheen’s bid to stop arbitration with Chuck Lorre and Warner Bros. The arbitration, separate from Sheen’s $100 lawsuit against Lorre and Warner Bros., will determine if all future lawsuits between Sheen and his ex-bosses will be held in private, or publicly in court. Do you think if Charlie plead mercury poisoning this whole mess could end soon too? Do you think Charlie Sheen might actually have mercury poisoning and that would actually explain everything?

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Jeremy Piven Loves Him Some Miley Cyrus: “We Had Great Chemistry”

After seeing Miley Cyrus slump through The Last Song, it’s hard to imagine any actor looking forward to working with the Razzie Worst Actress nominee. But apparently Jeremy Piven had a blast working with Miley on the upcoming So Undercover. “”I think I must be an 18-year-old girl because we got along really well,” he told E!, ignoring that plenty of skeevy older dudes think they get along with 18-year-old girls. “It was just so much fun. I had so much fun with her and we had great chemistry. It was really, really weird—we’re like polar opposites.” Woof…at least he didn’t say their parts fit.

But how does Entourage‘s Emmy-winner feel about Miley’s bong-huffing ways? “You know, you can judge her, but what were you doing when you were 18? She’s kind of amazing. There’s something so incredibly refreshing about someone who is exactly who they are. There’s nothing pretentious about her. She’s this force. She loves to laugh.” Oh, we know, Jeremy. Ears are still ringing.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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TheFABlife Bikini Awards: Mankinis

(Welcome to TheFABlife Bikini Awards, where we pit half-naked celebs against each other and you vote for the finest skin-flaunter of the summer of 2010. )

The first round of mobile and online voting is now closed. Gerard Butler is the winner of the Mankinis! Vote for the Ultimate Bikini Awards winner in our final poll!

Lest you thought we were going to focus all our attention on the ladies of Hollywood, think again! There’s a whole batch of dudes who love to take it off for the cameras — including The Situation, Jeremy Piven, Christiano Ronaldo, Matthew McConaughey, Gerard Butler and Jude Law. We’ve got them going against each other in our poll above and we’ve got a request for the guys – more Speedos, please? We have a hankering for some upper thigh action and your giant swim trunks are killing our buzz.

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After The Golden Globes: Who’s Hooking Up?

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We’ve already buzzed about Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler‘s close encounters at the Golden Globes on Sunday night, and a source at Page Six confirmed that the pair was indeed making out in the kitchen of the Beverly Hilton after they presented together. Stay classy, Butlerston. (Wait, no – Anisbut. Please let  that catch on.) But there were also plenty of other hookup rumors abounding after the ceremony.

At the HBO after-party following the Globes, Straw Dogs co-stars Kate Bosworth and Alexander Skarsgard were seen doing their fair share of butt-grabbing and kissing. Skarsgard reportedly denied seeing anyone when an E! reporter asked him earlier that night, so maybe he was just getting a closer look as Bosworth’s multicolored eyes. The weirdest pairing we’ve heard of, though, is the rumored hookup between Mad Men‘s January Jones and everyone’s favorite mercury-survivor Jeremy Piven. The pair was seen canoodling at the awards and then left an after-party at Chateau Marmont together. Between Jones’ crappy appearance on SNL earlier this season and now this, we’re thinking maybe Betty Draper’s humorless personality and taste in sketchy men isn’t really a stretch after all.

If people are this frisky at the Golden Globes, we can’t wait to see what’ll happen at the Oscars. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Celebs Migrate For The Holidays

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There’s a certain kind of celebrity that flies from its native habitat of New York, Los Angeles or London to breed, bath in warm ocean waters or forage for food and drink along remote tropical beaches. A newly reunited Jude Law and Sienna Miller fall into this category. The on-off-on couple spent the holidays in the Caribbean, as did Rihanna and Marc Jacobs (not together, of course). On the Pacific side, there have been two very rare spottings in Hawaii: Pierce Brosnan with his wife and a shirtless Jeremy Piven.

A different breed has been spotted playing in colder climates this holiday season, including Katy Perry and Russell Brand, now engaged after a pre-Christmas London rendezvous of shopping, sledding and most likely sessions of baby-making practice. But Aspen is the real hot gathering spot in the snow this year, with sightings of Mariah Carey, Antonio Banderas, Paris Hilton and Leann Rimes. [Photo: Splash News Online]

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Piven Throws A Hissy Fit

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Jeremy Piven has had a rough year, let’s face it. When he pulled out of a commitment on Broadway citing “mercury poisoning” as his reason, he became the butt of jokes and had a grievance filed against him by the producers. His show, Entourage, is having a less-than-stellar season. And seriously, what’s with his weird guest appearances, hosting WWE’s Raw and appearing on Big Brother? So it’s not crazy that someone would take him to task for all that. Piven doesn’t like being the butt of a joke though, and when SNL alum Chris Kattan took a swipe about Piven’s Broadway debacle, things turned ugly.

The two men were set to appear on Alexa Chung‘s MTV show when Kattan said to Piven backstage, “So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?” A low blow, perhaps, but we definitely would have referenced the WWE thing instead because, seriously WTF was that about? Piven then responded, “Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?” and from there it got heated. While Kattan claims that he thought the ribbing was friendly, Piven supposedly exploded, slammed the door to his dressing room and rebuffed Kattan’s apologies later. Of course both men’s publicists claim it was all in good fun but, pardon the Piven pun, it just sounds fishy. We miss the days when Piven was just John Cusack‘s second banana and news about him didn’t make us clench with anxiety. [Photo: GettyImages]

by (@katespencer)

Jeremy Piven Cries In Hearing, Avoids Fine

Jeremy Piven may have skipped out on his role in the Broadway play Speed The Plow, but he sure put his acting skills to work yesterday. The actor appeared at a hearing made up of his thespian peers to determine if there was any wrongdoing in his abrupt exit from the show. In his 20-minute interview Piven managed to squeak out tears not once – but twice! – while describing how a bad case of mercury poisoning made him feel confused and exhausted during the production.

“At times I was incapable of getting enough oxygen to get my lines out on stage, and sometimes I’d forget where I was in the play,” Mr. Piven said. “This misconception that I was out partying was wrong.”

Piven wept as he told the group that, “I’ve never missed a day’s work or a rehearsal in my life.” Looks like the tears worked – he walked away without incuring any penalites. [Photo: FilmMagic]

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Jeremy Piven Healthy Enough For The Golden Globes

In Scandalist‘s post about the mercury poisoning that kept Jeremy Piven from finishing Speed-The-Plow‘s Broadway run, we suggested that people give him the benefit of the doubt “unless he shows up on a red carpet next week.” It wound up being more like three weeks, but Piven was alive and seemingly well at the Golden Globes last night. You are now free to doubt.

“It was a completely humbling experience. It was like being taken out of a game,” said Piven, hoping for another Best Supporting TV actor award for Entourage. “I could have gone against doctor’s orders, but I didn’t. I’m just grateful to be here.” Yeah, no one wants “killed by sushi” in their obituary.

Show producer Mark Wahlberg couldn’t help but say he hoped it wasn’t contagious, inspiring Piven to ask NBC’s Tiki Barber if he’d ever been pulled out of a football game. ”If they did, I would have jumped back in there,” said the pro-turned-commentator. ”Tiki, you’re an iron man!” said Piven. Good thing he lost the trophy to Tom Wilkinson, or he might have dropped a fake cough or two in his acceptance speech.

Really, if you’re too sick to go back to Broadway (the play runs until February 22nd), it’s poor form to hit an award ceremony. Bro even hit an afterparty! Katie Holmes made it to the last performance of All My Sons, and she really looks like death.

[Photo: Getty]

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Blogs, Leave Jeremy Piven Alone!

Jeremy Piven has left the hit Broadway revival of David Mamet‘s Speed-The-Plough due to severe mercury poisoning. The show’s producers told TMZ that Piven was complaining of illness since the beginning of the run, self-diagnosing everything from mono to the Epstein-Barr virus before doctors discovered his addiction to sushi was the culprit. “He’s a voracious sushi eater. I tested him, and he’s got a shocking level of almost six times the upper limit of what’s allowable,” said a member of Piven’s elite medical team, which demanded he leave the play.

While we have no problem believing that Piven is a high-maintenance kind of guy in the best of situations, we think bloggers are being a little unfair with the jokes about hypochondria, suggesting he’d do anything to get out of the play. Dude is sick! If you had a team of doctors saying you had potentially lethal amounts of mercury in your system, you’d freak too. So what if he threw around some different possibilities beforehand while screaming for his latte backstage? Would you immediate realize if you had mercury poisoning?

People that actually have to deal with Piven (in sickness and in health) can be forgiven for ribbing the guy, but there’s really nothing for us to call “bullshit” on here unless he shows up on a red carpet next week. That or if he intentionally OD’d on sushi to get out of the gig, which would be so awesome.

[Photo: Getty Images]