This is so weird, guys. After that whole I’m Still Here “documentary” and even The Master, we were really used to not liking Joaquin Phoenix. To be honest, even when he was awesome as Johnny Cash, he gave us the heebie jeebies — in a good way! But it is a testament to the power of Spike Jones and a really good Yeah Yeah Yeahs song that he seems genuinely cute and likable, in an awkward loner writer way, in the trailer for Her, out this November. Just to prove my point, I screencapped almost all the times he smiles in this preview (there were some smiling and running shots I may have missed, sorry, JP).
Porn ‘staches, grizzly beards, muttonchops and peach fuzz…there’s a lot that can go wrong when you’re talkin’ about facial hair. Thankfully razors help most of us guys avoid those traps. But some film roles force actors to let some truly tragic facial fungi run rampant across their famous mugs!
Shia LaBeouf might not get an Oscar for taking LSD for his role in the upcoming film The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman, but he might get us to consider buying a ticket. “I’d never done acid before. I remember sending Evan tapes. I remember trying to conjure this and sending tapes. And Evan being like ‘That’s good, but that’s not but, that is,’” LaBeouf told MTV about dropping acid to prepare for his character’s drug trip. “You reach out to friends and gauge where you’re at. I was sending tapes around and I’d get 50 percents from people and that just starts creeping me out. I was getting really nervous toward the end. Not cause I wanted to be on drugs — I’m not trying to mess with the set or anything like that. It’s really just fear that propels people.” Maybe it was fear, but we’re betting Oscar gold played at least a tiny part in the other extreme things actors have done for roles…
The nominations for the 2013 Oscars were announced bright and early this morning, and that brings with it another time-honored tradition: The Oscar betting pool! It’s the time of the year when suddenly everyone is a regular Siskel and Ebert, passionately weighing in on a bunch of films that we (probably) haven’t seen, guessing who’s going to take home the little gold bald dude. Normally we just bet on the thespian who has won the most accolades in the past, but this year it gets a little more tricky: ALL of the Best Supporting Actors have won Oscars before! The track record is fairly similar in the Best Leading Actor category too, with Academy honored legends like Daniel Day-Lewis, Denzel Washington and Joaquin Phoenix going head to head. Ahh, clash of the Titans! What are we going to do!?
Well, never fear, folks, because we’ve taken the time to handicap all of the actors for you, in basically the least-expert way possible. We went through their cinematic performances broken down into all the pros and cons that you need to make an informed decision for your Oscar night scorecard. Don’t worry, we’ve got one for the actresses too! Read on…
Daniel Day-Lewis: Abraham Lincoln in Lincoln
Why He Has A Good Shot: Not only did the master craftsman give the performance of his career by bringing back the controversial president, but he also grew his own beard, you guys.
What Might Hold Him Back: The Academy forgets that his last name has a hyphen, accidentally awards an Oscar to a “Daniel Day Lewis.”
Bradley Cooper: Pat Solitano in Silver Linings Playbook
Why He Has A Good Shot: Brad really showed that he was much more than a pretty face/funny guy in David O. Russell’s alt- dramedy.
The nominees for the 2013 Golden Globes were announced bright and early this morning, and the list didn’t feature a ton of surprises. Perhaps the most surprising part is that these men and women have all kept truckin’ with their acting careers despite having made some hilariously bad role choices in the past. Congrats guys, you’re an illustration of the enduring human spirit! Or maybe you all just got better agents…
To be fair, folks like Leonardo DiCaprio, Helen Hunt and Joaquin Phoenix when they made their turkeys, so they didn’t know any better. But not everyone in this list has that excuse! Ben Affleck might have a GG nod for best director with Argo, but it still doesn’t excuse the fact that he helped bring Gigli to life. And why have we all forgotten that The Good Wife’sJulianna Margulies was in Snakes On A Plane, or that Alec Baldwin appeared as Mr. Conductor in the children’s train movie Thomas And The Magic Track? It’s pretty priceless!
Let’s dive deep into the IMDB page of these acclaimed thespians and pull out some truly amazing forgotten films. It’s like cinematic naked baby photos! And always remember: You too can still rise to the top, even if you’ve made a movie as bad as She-Devil.
Oh Joaquin Phoenix, you sound just like us during a fight. “You know what? You’re right. I suck. I suck so much, nothing I do or say matters and now you have to feel bad for me.” Yeah, we are the worst to fight with, which is why we’re doubly glad it’s Joaquin and not us that had to make a statement regarding the hilariously negative comments he mad about the Oscars last month. “I’m just saying that I think it’s bulls—. I think it’s total, utter bulls—, and I don’t want to be a part of it,” The Master star scoffed in Interview. His publicist must have had a stroke after the interview was published, because now Joaquin is attempted to walk back his statements via the Sydney Morning Herald. ”But I know that first of all, I wouldn’t have the career that I have if it weren’t for the Oscars. I haven’t been in a lot of movies that have made a lot of money,” he admitted. “And getting nominated for a movie has probably helped my career tremendously.” So would the Oscars please start replying to his texts already?
Joaquin also sighs, “I guess I sound like a dick,” which is just delightful. “But in some ways it’s the antithesis of what you want to be as an actor,” he says of awards season. “You’re always trying to free yourself of the artifice, which is really difficult. Especially when you suck, like me.” Oh jeez, Joaquin. Save the self-deprecation for your mama. You are no Jennifer Lawrence and you never will be!
Once you get nominated for an Academy Award, it stands to reason you might get nominated again. You’ll probably get offered bigger or better roles that might pop up on the Academy’s radar, or they’ll give you a statue for a role that wasn’t even particularly memorable. (Sandy Bullock in The Blind Side? She just has a Southern accent! That’s it!). All of which must be suuuuuch a hassle when you’re Joaquin Phoenix. “I’m just saying that I think it’s bulls—. I think it’s total, utter bulls—, and I don’t want to be a part of it,” Phoenix told Interview when asked about going up for an award. “I don’t believe in it. It’s a carrot, but it’s the worst-tasting carrot I’ve ever tasted in my whole life. I don’t want this carrot.” Remember this quote now, guys! It’s going to be everywhere when Joaquin inevitably wins Best Actor for this year’s The Master.
Now, our only experience with rotten carrots is the bag we buy from Trader Joe’s and forget about every week, but maybe Joaquin is still peeved he didn’t win for Gladiator? Says Phoenix, “It was one of the most uncomfortable periods of my life when Walk the Line was going through all the awards stuff and all that. I never want to have that experience again. I don’t know how to explain it—and it’s not like I’m in this place where I think I’m just above it — but I just don’t ever want to get comfortable with that part of things.” And that perspective is what makes him an actor and that skill is what’s going to snag him an Oscar. It’s a Catch-22, Joaquin! That, and the scene where he smashes the toilet in the jail cell. So good!
We never thought we’d feel sorry for Dina Lohan, but watching her squirm while being grilled by Dr. Phil yesterday kinda did the trick. Maybe she was drunk; maybe she was just really embarrassed by another round of accusations that she was responsible for Lindsay Lohan’s downfall and was taking money from her daughter. Whatever the cause, the result was disaster for her/ratings gold for Dr. Phil. But while we confess to having a few laughs over coverage of the interview, we’d like to take this moment to comfort Ms. Lohan. You’re not the first famous person to fall apart on national television, and you won’t be the last. Here are 5 celebrities who have survived (mostly) the aftermath of their terrible sitdowns.
5. Joaquin Phoenix on The Late Show With David Letterman
The audience was nowhere near as shocked as Letterman himself when Joaquin appeared with sunglasses, a scruffy beard and greasy hair and uncomfortably mumbled through their whole interview. The host tried to draw Phoenix out by praising his work and co-stars, but he was having none of it. Turns out, it was all part of his mockumentary, I’m Still Here, which was nowhere near as entertaining as this clip was on its own.
4. Kanye West on Today
“I’m here to say that I made mistakes and that I’ve grown as a person,” ‘Ye told Matt Lauer during their 2010 sitdown, but then he proceeded to do kind of the opposite. As he tried to explain his statement that “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” and his interruption of Taylor Swift at the VMAs, he grew increasingly incensed at show producers for running footage while he spoke. We kind of understand his point, but his Twitter rant after the appearance was the stuff of legend. Kanye’s kept his interviews to a minimum since then. Read more…
Donnie Wahlberg, we appreciate the shirtlessness you’re bringing to Twitter. The lip sweaters, not so much. “After 3 months cultivating, countless insults, thousands of requests to shave the #stache,” Donnie tweeted, along with a photo of New Kids on the Block sporting a set of virile mustaches. Countless requests to shave, you say? Yeah, that seems about right. While we’re not going to pretend they’re all suddenly gargoyles now that they’re sporting a little lip magic (Hello, Joey McIntyre. You seem to be doing…very well), overall it’s not a great look.
Of course, Donnie and the gang aren’t the only hot dudes whose facial hair lowers their babe quotient. We know! It doesn’t really make any sense! We love guys with ‘staches and beards as much as you do! But from Leo DiCaprio to Tom Sturridge, Shia LaBeouf to Ben Affleck, we guess some guys just look better clean-shaven. Guys like… Read more…
You guys, with all the focus on the Zumas, Kingstons, Suris and Havens of celebrity town, we realize we’ve missed out on sharing the incredible cuteness of some other kiddies. Our bad. One of them is Marion Cotillard’s son, Marcel. We just saw this photograph of him and promptly fell in love. Little Marcel was visiting his maman on the Brooklyn set of her new untitled James Grey period film with Joaquin Phoenix — we can already smell the awards. And as gorgeous as Marion is (without makeup, too), her bébé totally steals the show. Those cheeks!