by (@shalapitcher)

The Next Mel Gibson Rant Remixes Coming Soon, We Hope

We suspect that at this moment there are DJs, MCs, video editors and very smart kids hard at work in their basements/studios to deliver what we crave most: remixes of the latest < strong>Mel Gibson rant, recorded by screenwriter Joe Eszterhas‘ son in Costa Rica in December. The shouts don’t quite include as much vivid imagery as his phone tirades about how Oksana Grigorieva dressed, and we really wish that some of the crazy talk Eszterhas alluded to about the Beatles and the Jews were included in this little recording, obtained by TheWrap.com. But we see some potential in his rhythmic “F—!” repetition. Also, we have a clear contender for the chorus: “Who wants to eat?! Who the f— wants to eat?! Go have something to eat! Hurrrrraaaaayyyyyy!” And if someone can illustrate what it looks like when he pushes over a totem pole, that would be magic. These masterpieces can’t come soon enough.

Just to refresh your memories, here are a few inspired takes on his 2010, um, hook. NSFW, obvs.
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by (@shalapitcher)

Mel Gibson Loves The Beatles, We’re Still Not Sure How He Feels About Everyone Else

This will mark a first for us: a post maybe sort of defending Mel Gibson. He is a documented anti-Semite and abuser of women, so a whole lot of the crazy allegations screenwriter Joe Eszterhas made in his open letter yesterday didn’t sound all that far-fetched. Even if, as Gibson said in his response, hating Jews wasn’t his reason for not making The Maccabees, there’s not a whole lot he can ever say to rehabilitate his reputation in that light. But there was another Gibson quote from the Eszterhas letter that shocked the world: “I’m glad [John Lennon's] dead. He deserved to be shot. He was f—ing messianic. Listen to his songs! ‘Imagine.’ I hate the f—ing song. I’m glad he’s dead.”

Today, TMZ reports that according to sources, Mel loves the Beatles and plays their music in his house all the time. He even played “Imagine” at a recent event. So either he never said those things, or he was in a really contrary mood. Sometimes we do that too, outright blast something everyone loves (including us), just to get a rise out of people. Luckily, no one records our statements to repeat back to the world later on.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

10 Crazy New Mel Gibson Allegations, Courtesy Of His Former Screenwriter

It’s been a while since we’ve been treated to a glimpse into Mel Gibson‘s tortured psyche. Remember those leaked phone calls? Memories! The nine page letter written to Mel by screenwriter Joe Eszterhas, as posted on The Wrap, really brings us back…mostly because it references Gibson’s alleged antisemitism. Repeatedly. “I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason you won’t make The Maccabees is the ugliest possible one,” Eszterhas writes. “You hate Jews.” In case you didn’t know, Mel was allegedly working on a film about the Jewish folk hero Judah Maccabee. When those plans fell through, seems like Eszterhas was enraged enough to fire off a lengthy rant, loaded with some creepily familiar accusations.

Gibson has already responded to the letter, claiming in part, “I am not going to respond to it line by line, but I will say that the great majority of the facts as well as the statements and actions attributed to me in your letter are utter fabrications.” The letter is infinitely tl;dr, but in case you were curious what horrible new allegations could be made against Mel, we picked out the 10 most insane ones. Reader beware: some of them are downright disturbing…

  • Mel has alletedly been keeping up with his conspiracy theories: “You said most ‘gatekeepers’ of American companies were ‘H—s’ who ‘controlled their bosses.’ You said the Holocaust was ‘mostly a lot of horses—.’”
  • Mel knows his history. Well, a history, anyway: “You said that a ‘liberal Jewish conspiracy’ was responsible for the death of Pope John Paul I, Albino Luciani, a conspiracy which your father, Hutton, told me was completed when a cardinal sat on the Pope’s face and suffocated him.”

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