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TheFABlife Bikini Awards: Brits

(Welcome to TheFABlife Bikini Awards, where we pit half-naked celebs against each other and you vote for the finest skin-flaunter of the summer of 2010. )

The first round of mobile and online voting is now closed. Kelly Brook is the winner of the Brits! Vote for the Ultimate Bikini Awards winner in our final poll!

Believe it or not, all Brits are not pastey white people with bad teeth who never see the sea, sex or sun. We’ve rounded up the finest British bikini bods of the summer, including footballer wife Coleen Rooney, former Miss England Georgia Horsley (unfortunate name, we know), models Agyness Deyn and Kelly Brook, Katie Price (aka Jordan), and Sienna Miller.

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This Is How You Promote A Book

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Who needs things like a masters in creative writing or a passing familiarity with the phrase “keyboard home keys” with boobs like that? We’re certain Katie Price, ahem, author Katie Price has neither, and that’s not stopping her from plugging her new book. Price, famous in England for being a model formerly known as Jordan and ex-wife of singer Peter Andre, has written a novel called Paradise, which may be the only novel in the history of ever to get a Bedazzled bathing suit manufactured for it’s release.

Shockingly enough, this is not Katie’s first book, she’s also written two autobiographies (one for each boob, we guess?), three other novels, and several children’s books. Surprising, until you realize that they were all ghostwritten and then it all falls into place. Still, it’s hard to care about pesky things like plot development and richly constructed characters in a book when you get a prologue like this.

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[Photos: Getty Images]

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Katie Price Marries Cross-Dresser In Quickie Wedding

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Congratulations to the UK’s preeminent attention whore, Katie Price! The model married her cross-dressing (and kinda hot, yowza!) boyfriend Alex Reid in a super-quick ceremony in Las Vegas yesterday afternoon. The couple was spotted ring shopping and later walked down the aisle at the Wynn Hotel. Says the couple, “We are very much in love and look forward to the future together. We can’t wait to get back and celebrate our marriage with our friends and family who we know fully support our wishes.” Adds her publicist: Their decision to marry has not been made with any pre-conceived commercial plan or media deal in place, and their reason for getting married is purely down to their love for each other.”

Awwww! How sweet. Here we thought Katie was doing it for publicity but — oh wait, there were TV cameras there capturing the whole thing? Gah! Says an insider, ” ITV2 camera crew were with her and could well have filmed the wedding. But Katie is not sure yet whether she will allow the footage to be aired. She has not signed any magazine deal for the wedding photographs but they are likely to do an interview about it when they get back.”

Whatever the motive, at least they celebrated their nuptials the old-fashioned way: with a trip to a strip club. Congrats, you two! [Photo: SplashNewsOnline]

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Katie Price And Peter Andre To Attend Son’s Nativity Play

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Katie Price and Peter Andre will put aside their contentious divorce to watch their 4-year-old son perform in a nativity play this Christmas. Surprisingly, the camera-loving ex-couple do not want to turn this into a media circus. “Neither wanted to miss it but they didn’t want to risk bumping into each other,” a source told The Sun. “So they’ve come to a compromise. The plan is that Peter will is take Junior there. Then Katie will sneak in just before it starts so there’s no fuss.” Sorry, did someone just put “Katie Price” and “no fuss” in the same sentence? We’ll believe it when we see it—or rather, don’t.

[Photo: Getty Images]
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EXCLUSIVE: Alex Reid: Getting Dumped On National TV Was “Horrible”

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Cage fighter Alex Reid is moving on with his life after being dumped on national TV by his former girlfriend, glamour model Katie Price. “It was hard at first,” Alex tells The FABlife, “I am on the front page of the papers in the UK every day, they call me everything from a loser to a cross dresser. I was dumped on national TV. It was horrible!” Katie split from husband Peter Andre in May and quickly made the athletic Alex her new beau, even allowing him to take care of her children, which angered her former husband.

Alex, however, is picking up the pieces and moving on with his career. “I am producing a movie about cage fighters and UFC, and it’s going really well,” Alex told TheFABlife at the Beverly Hills Hotel last night, where he was spotted with a cute blond. A pal affectionately said of his apparent “upgrade” in women, “You had McDonalds and now you have filet mignon.” It looks like Alex is moving on with his career – AND love life! [Photo: Getty Images]


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Katie Price Goes Back To The Jungle

If you don’t think Katie Price knows her reputation has taken a hammering in the last few months, well, you do now. The professional Peter Andre-basher is to return as a contestant to “I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!” The jungle-set reality show was the scene of her first reinvention back in 2004, when the glamor model met her ex-husband Pete on set and began her transformation into a legitimate business uber-brand.

Now everyone’s of the opinion she’s a nasty, venomous so-and-so once more, she’s headed back to Australia to appear on the forthcoming series. She’ll be the first contestant to ever appear twice and the other celebs appearing are said to be annoyed she’s pocketing $585k rather than their more modest $100k. And the people of Britain are mourning the fact there simple is no escape from this fame-obsessed publicity harpy.

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Amy Winehouse Flaunts It

That Katie Price, no shame at all! Only that’s Amy Winehouse letting her bra burst out of her tank-top after a night at the The Hawley Arms in London. If The Daily Mail can be believed, Wino’s make-over isn’t even finished: “She thinks by having another operation and bum implants that she will achieve her dream pin-up look.” Guess if you’re going to spend more time in the tabloids than performing music, you might as well look the part. It’s not like Dad’s going to have a problem with it.

Related Content: Amy’s New Boobs Make Their Big Debut

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Katie Price: “I’ll Retire When People Are Bored”

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We know we’re only feeding the beast, but you don’t have rub it in our face, Katie Price! The glamour girl recently told BBC Radio One that her media overexposure is only meant to satiate public interest. “I will retire when people are bored of me, but thanks to the public, they’re still keeping me here, they’re keeping me going.” If only we knew what was good for us.

One person who apparently does is fellow pin-up Jodie Marsh, who has nothing nice to say to Zoo magazine about her rival. “What does [Price] do on a horse? Dressage. Trots around, that’s all she does. She doesn’t jump. She doesn’t do f— all. She just sits on it, poses and pouts.” Oh, we’re sure Katie would jump if paid enough. “She’s not good in bed – she doesn’t know what she’s doing. She’s as cold as ice, she’s got hardly any friends and she’s thick as s—!”

While we can’t see what’s so bad about that in a tabloid tart, Price has pre-dismissed such complaints. “I like the knockdowns, they’ve just made me really strong. I’m like a tank, you can fire bullets and they just won’t get through to me.” Hopefully Miss March won’t try to prove her wrong.

[Photo: Getty Images; h/t Dlisted]

Related Content: Katie Price Really Wants You To Look At Her

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Katie Price’s Boyfriend Drags Up For Her Book Launch

Just when we thought she couldn’t shock us anymore – for once, Katie Price has done so, but actually made us laugh while doing it. In between the sour slanging match between her and ex-husband Peter Andre that seems INTERMINABLE, Katie has of course acquired herself a new boyfriend, cage fighter Alex Reid. The initial controversy about him starring in a rape fantasy video dissipated once it was usurped by the news he was a cross-dresser with an alter-ego called Roxanne.

But far from ignoring her new man’s peccadilloes, Katie indulged them in classic attention-seeking style, at the launch of her new book. Accompanied by four male friends in drag representing different Jordan “looks,” Katie launched her style guide (no, really) yesterday at Selfridges in London with a dose of humor. But which one above, is Katie, and which is Alex? Heh heh.

(FYI, he’s the one on the far left. Of course.)