by (@JordanRuntagh)

Christian Magazine Compares Simon Cowell To Jesus

In news that will no doubt make Simon Cowell’s Christmas, a Christian group is comparing him to Jesus Christ. Yes, that Jesus Christ. Maybe they thought X-Factor was short for Christ-Factor. Re, the official magazine of the Assemblies of God church, claims that Cowell’s no-nonsense tough-love style is very similar to the way Christ would have behaved. We can only imagine how this makes Paula Abdul feel.

“Jesus, the one we think of as being meek and mild, gentle and loving and full of compassion, had the ability to talk tough,” explains the faith based periodical. “Some of his words were upsetting and difficult to swallow – just like Cowell’s – but he spoke truth and doesn’t the truth hurt sometimes? Simon Cowell takes, learns from them and grows in the process, and there are numerous stories in the Bible of people who do the same.” Wow, well thank goodness he’s using his powers for good! Think of all the gifts Simon has given us: Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, and Susan Boyle, just to name a few. But then again, he did spring William Hung on an unsuspecting world. The Simon works in cruel and mysterious ways.

[Photo: Images]

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Milla Jovovich: Resident Herb Lover

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Milla Jovovich shows off her hot post-baby body on the cover of September’s Maxim, available at newsstands tomorrow. The Ukranian actress dishes on a smokey prank she pulled as a teenager, and why she loves being the object of nerdy guys’ affection.

On Being the Dream Girl for Geeks: “I love that, man!  I think it’s great, because it means that smart men like me.  Plus, nerdy guys are always the cool ones in the end.  I mean, who want to date a stupid jock?  I think that, eventually, the nerds get the cool girls.  Just do what you do really well and everything else will fall into place.”

On Her Most Rebellious Teenage Act: “Probably being on the cover of High Times.  I was performing music at that time—and smoking pot—and the guys from High Times came to one of my shows.  They were like, ‘Hey, wanna be on the cover?’  It was just one of those stupid things you do when you’re young.  I thought it was a big joke, but my poor mom was mortified.”

Milla isn’t the only hottie who loves herself a little devil’s lettuce. Check out our gallery of Hollywood’s hottest stoner chicks! [Source: Maxim; Photo: Matt Jones]

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MuchMusic Video Awards Wild Red Carpet

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No boring little black dresses at this event! The outfits on the red carpet at the MuchMusic Video Awards in Canada were all about stripes, lace, color, cutouts, metallics, and designer tights. Stars like Kim Kardashian, Kelly Clarkson, Tila Tequila, and the Black Eyed Peas kept things colorful in wild getups that spiced up the red carpet. Check out our gallery from the MuchMusic Video Awards! [Photos: Splash News Online]

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Hollywood’s Hottest Stoner Chicks

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Megan Fox is a smoking hot chick, but now she is really on fire. Megan likes to lite up the crazy hippie lettuce and puff puff pass like no other, as she recently told British GQ.

In honor of the Devil’s Lettuce Diva saying that if they legalize weed, “I’ll be the first person in line to buy my pack of joints,” we bring you Hollywood’s Hottest Stoner Chicks! [Photo: Getty Images]

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Kelly Clarkson Would Rather Have Lost Idol Than Make Crappy Movie

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We know it’s currently #29 on IMDb’s Bottom 100 Movies Ever, but Kelly Clarkson truly, truly can’t stand movie disaster zone From Justin To Kelly even more than the rest of us. Nope, she hates it so much she wishes she’d never won American Idol. Eh?

“When I won Idol, the agreement that we signed was that whoever won had to be in the movie. So when I came to the top two, I was begging not to win. I’ve never in my life wanted to be an actress, ever!” she tells Reveal magazine. We applaud your honesty and self-awareness about the truly terrible flick, Kelly – but, um, might you not be here today if you hadn’t won the show? Then (terrible “joke” alert) your life would truly suck. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Kanye To “Sing” On American Idol

And you thought Sanjaya was questionable. Kanye West is scheduled to perform “Heartless” on Wednesday’s American Idol episode, which will also feature Kelly Clarkson and the debut of the first-ever Top 13. West’s appearance is more than a little ironic, seeing as how his live vocal chops are more William Hung than Ruben Stoddard. Hopefully they’ll keep a camera on Simon, who wouldn’t give Kanye a golden ticket for all the Jesus pieces on Earth.

Anoop Desai, for one, remains psyched. “”I’m definitely going to pick his brain — we’ll see if he has anything to lend me too.” And maybe you could teach him how to breathe properly into a mic.

[Photo: WireImage]