Grown Ups 2 is set…to have the most ridiculous cast list that we could ever imagine, that is. Paulina Gretzky has been added to the list and we cannot wait to see what she has in store for us (in a nervous kind of way)! She recently made an appearance on our list of The 25 Most Scandalous Celeb Twitpics of 2012 but as if that wasn’t enough, she just posted a pic of her and her friend on the set of Grown Ups 2 rockin’ that bikini bod that we’ve become all too familiar with. Funny folks Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolf, and Chris Rock are teaming up with a whole grab bag of celebrity wildcards. Twilight heartthrob Taylor Lautner, Hunger Games hottie Alexander Ludwig, Steve Buscemi, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, and Salma Hayek are just a few of the other outrageous cast members that Gretzky will be working side-by-side with in Grown Ups 2. We think she will fit right in to this zany list.
Adam Sandler, the fate of our childhood rests in your hands. Variety reports that Sandler and the hand inside Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, Robert Smigel, are currently in final talks to write the live-action Candy Land movie. “Candy Land is more than just a game. It is a brand that children, parents and grandparents know and love,” said Columbia Pictures’ Doug Belgrad of the deal. “The world of Candy Land offers an extraordinary canvas upon which to create a fantastical, live-action family adventure film with a larger than life part for Adam.” We would totally agree…if Sandler’s last movie, the cross-dressing extravaganza Jack and Jill, didn’t have a 3 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Or if it had made all its money back. Or if we hadn’t spent every day playing Candy Land after school as innocent children. So with that in mind, here are just a few helpful tips we’d like to offer Mr. Sandler as he starts to write the script. Don’t even make us tell you no fat suits:
- No drag. None. Not a girdle or fake bosom or a 5 o’clock shadow expertly covered up with HD makeup. You will not play Grandma Nutt with a slight lisp.
- Just go ahead and cast Katy Perry as Queen Frostine. She already has the wig, she has extensive Gummi bear-wrangling experience and she probably has a lot of thoughts on how to make the whole thing a lot sexier. No, that does not include David Spade slipping on a whip-cream bazooka bra. What did we say about drag? It’s like we’re talking to a delicious gingerbread wall here!
- Most importantly, this is a kids’ movie. While Robert DeNiro was the highlight of Jack & Jill and would make an excellent Lord Licorce, we do not need to see him break a chair over a woman’s head. Or try to seduce you…in drag. Oh, did we not mention we paid money to see Jack & Jill in the theater? All of our opinions are based on pure hard fact!
- Kevin James is your Gloppy the Molassess Monster. Aaaaaaaand your hardest casting decision is done.
[Photo: Getty Images]
We thought he was sporting a little bump at the premiere of The Dilemma last week, but we didn’t want to say anything. Kevin James confirmed on The Today Show that wife Steffania De La Cruz is pregnant with their third child. The pair, who married in 2004, already have two children, Sienna-Marie, 5, and Shea, 3. De La Cruz is an actress and model who’s appeared on The King Of Queens and in the movies Paul Blart: Mall Cop and the upcoming Zookeeper. Hey, Kevin’s in those too! What a coincidence!
[Photo: Getty Images]
The number of TV shows and movies that involve a slovenly (but usually lovable and funny) guy paired up with a hot, sexy woman is huge. King of Queens, Knocked Up, Entourage, According to Jim, and now Grown Ups are all admissable in this category. If you were a foreigner looking in on American culture, you’d think that all women must be size 2 models whose only desires in a mate are a sense of humor and lack of vanity.
Cut to the premiere of Grown Ups, where this adage proves true, not only onscreen, but off. The male stars of this film couldn’t be bothered to even dress up for the red carpet (to be fair, David Spade and Rob Schneider look nice, but the rest of them – yeesh). Meanwhile, all the women in attendance looked hot and completely out of their league. Salma Hayek would still look more amazing than any of those men if she wore her Frida Kahlo unibrow and her Vampire’s Assistant beard. Need a closer look at the gender disparity? Take a gander at our gallery for proof.
[Photos: Getty Images]