When it comes to famous people, airports often end up acting the fool. Take Nicki Minaj‘s distressing run-in at London’s Heathrow’s security checkpoint for example. “Pretty sure I was just overtly fondled @ this check point. By a very old lady w/an accent. Word?,” the rapper tweeted yesterday. Nicki also posted a photo of the alleged groper, adding after the fact: “So TSA always takes pics of me while doing their job! But wld u believe they just told ME EYE couldn’t take pics???? Wow. #luckyIMsick.” Yikes, what ever happened to “the customer is always right. And shouldn’t be fondled against their will”?
Now, as far as we can see, there is no way that woman wouldn’t know she was getting overly familiar with the Nicki Minaj. This isn’t Blythe Danner we’re talking about; Nicki’s luggage is probably made out of neon-colored Barbie clothes. We’re not suggesting that famous people deserve to be treated differently during air travel; sometimes that’s the worst idea imaginable (Gerard Depardieu’s urine-soaked adventure, anyone?). That being said, a huge number of celebrity/airline run-ins are just baffling to us. Don’t they know the public cares about celebrities more than anything? Haven’t they heard about the devastating power of Twitter? In addition to Minaj’s bizarro pat down, a host of other celebs have flown the unfriendly skies. Celebs such as:
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There are two things we know about Kevin Smith: he loves himself a Twitter feud and….uh…well, he directed Mall Rats? Oh right, and he hates Bruce Willis. The Dogma director tweeted part of his new book Tough S–t: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good, which his followers quickly identified as being about Willis, the star of Smith’s 2010 police comedy Cop Out. “Who am I talking about when I write THIS,” Smith allegedly queried. “He turned out to be the unhappiest, most bitter and meanest emo-bitch I ever met at any job I’ve held. And mind you, I worked at Domino’s.” Did you guys notice how Smith also managed to insult Domino’s within one stealth tweet? This man is like a beef master!
Of course, this isn’t the first time the director raged against his former leading man. The fact Smith has yet to be kicked into an elevator shaft to plummet to his death is actually twice as surprising as we initially though! Smith went on another rant against the Die Hard star in January 2011 while being interviewed for comedian Marc Maron‘s WTF podcast. “It was difficult. I’ve never been involved in a situation like that where one component is not in the box at all. It was f—ing soul crushing,” he complained. Smith has since deleted the offending tweets, which suggests to us that he didn’t want anything else crushed either, least of all his precious, precious tweeting fingers.
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Southwest is definitely not the friendly skies! At least if you ask Leisha Hailey. The L-Word actress claims that she and her girlfriend were removed from a Southwest flight yesterday because they were kissing, and now she is leveling homophobia accusations against the airline. “I have been discriminated against by @SouthwestAir,” she tweeted. “Flt. attendant said that it was a ‘family’ airline and kissing was not ok.” Now Leisha’s demanding a public apology and a refund. “Since when is showing affection towards someone you love illegal?” she wrote. She’s calling on fellow members of the LGBT community to boycott Southwest Air, stating that “they don’t like us.”
Reps for Southwest are doing their part to calm the turbulence, posting a statement last night saying that they “received several passenger complaints characterizing the behavior as excessive.” The report continues to say that when attendant went over to ask Leisha to tone it down, she allegedly became hostile. “The conversation escalated to a level that was better resolved on the ground, as opposed to in flight,” they explained. Southwest seems to rub many celebs the wrong way. Kevin Smith was furious for being escorted off a flight last year for allegedly being too big to fit in the seat, and last week Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong was kicked off because his pants sagged too low. Really, Southwest? They should really change their name to Air Grandma.
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We’d love to have the willpower to lose 65 lbs in 11 months. Too bad the only way to do it is to be publicly humiliated on an airplane. While chatting on Joy Behar‘s show this week, a much fitter Kevin Smith revealed he lost 65 lbs since his feud with Southwest. Famously, Smith took to Twitter to blast Southwest for pulling him off a flight due to his size. “I feel mixed feelings about losing the weight,” Smith admitted. “I sympathize far more with heavier people than I ever will with thin. I’ll never be thin.” We don’t know about that; call him a blimp in the national press again, and we bet Kevin will be ready for the runways in Milan.
Behar has her own theories as to how Smith lost so much weight in a relatively short period of time. “Are you on amphetamines?,” Joy asked the animated director, who’d come to promote his new horror film Red State. Not that a new hot(ter) body is going to make Smith switch-up the Silent Bob wardrobe rocked while at his heaviest. “I call up Omar the tent maker,” Smith joked while swimming in a massive hockey jersey. “Get me a hockey jersey, and he takes all the rayon, all this material … and makes my jersey. It’s a whole team I’m wearing! I’m wearing twelve kids on my chest.” We can take it one step at a time, Kevin, but can we at least work on ditching the jorts? Or the trench coat? Or the jorts?
Usually these days, Kevin Smith stays on our radar because of his rants against airlines and his persistent affinity for long jean shorts. Truth be told, the last movie of his we saw in the theater was Dogma, and that was just for the Matt Damon-Ben Affleck reunion. Smith’s last movie was Cop Out, starring Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis and it turns out that the film, which doesn’t really sound great on paper, was an even worse experience to make for the director.
Smith went on comedian Marc Maron‘s WTF podcast recently and said that his experience on the film, particularly with Willis, was bad. Smith said that Willis refused to cooperate or participate in promoting the film. He says “It was difficult. I’ve never been involved in a situation like that where one component is not in the box at all. It was f—ing soul crushing.” You hear that, Bruce? You may have done this buddy cop movie for the paycheck, but you ended up crushing a soul. “I had no f—ing help from this dude whatsoever,” Smith continued. Your move, Bruce. Feel like responding? We didn’t think so.
In contrast, Smith says working with Tracy Morgan was “a dream,” and “Were it not for Tracy, I might’ve killed myself or someone else in the making of that movie.” And when Tracy Morgan is the voice of reason on-set, you know things are bad.
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Man, Kevin Smith has such bad luck with airlines! Actually, we all do—we just aren’t famous enough to turn our delays into a news event. The Clerks director, who was famously “too fat to fly” Southwest Airlines in February, took to his blog Monday to bitch about missing a Virgin Airlines flight with wife Jennifer Schwalbach and pal Jason “Jay” Mewes. Seems the snooty staff refused to let them on the plane despite arriving with an airport liaison more than ten minutes before the departing time (“Sometimes, y’all put folks up front who give your company a bad name”). Though he didn’t mention being raped by x-ray scanners, Smith was furious they wouldn’t give his wife’s luggage back (“Dorothy, the concierge, said in her 27 years working with all the airlines, she’d never seen anything like it.”) Mewes acknowledged the “nightmare” on his Twitter, but seems to have gotten over it (“Morning boner ;)”).
Unlike Southwest, Virgin Airlines quickly apologized for the drama—leaving Smith to explain to his fans why he has a “liaison” bring him to boarding so late in the game. “When you fly first, you board first, sit down…and then EVERYONE files past you. And when you’re the Too Fat To Fly guy on a plane? Well, everyone stares. Then the whispering starts. A hundred people look right at you—when you’re not on a stage. It kinda blows…[the liason's] job is to get you to the plane on time, but not when boarding begins; that way, you don’t have to play the Elephant Man for passengers passing you en route to their seats…The entire service is designed to get you to the plane door shortly before the door closes.” Unsurprisingly, he learned about this service from a certain Ben Affleck. But hey, if you don’t want people to stare at you…don’t be a 40-year-old man in knee-length jorts!
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Kevin Smith‘s newest movie, Zack and Miri Make a Porno has a controversial title, and we’ve come to expect films full of obscenity from the writer and director of such lines as “Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot!” and inventor of the stinkpalm. But, just as our mother wouldn’t allow us to see Dirty Dancing because it “sounded” filthy, the MPAA has tried to stand in Smith’s way regarding the film’s rating (no NC-17 for this bad boy, Smith made an appeal for an R rating and won) and now they’ve blocked a poster for the film because they deemed it too vulgar.
In the ad, the stars of the film, Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks, appear to have some visitors, uh, down south. The MPAA must have some pretty dirty minds, it’s totally obvious that it’s just a couple of people helping tie Seth and Elizabeth’s shoes while kneeling in front of them. Said Smith about the ban on the ad: “When you’ve got the word ‘porno’ in the title, naturally, the marketing materials are gonna be scrutinized more closely by the MPAA. I understand they’ve got a job to do, but c’mon … this image isn’t that dirty; they’re both fully clad.” Sadly the ad, while available online, will only be used in the film’s marketing in Canada — apparently they’re mature enough to handle it. [Source: EW’s PopWatch Blog]
It’s tough to make an R-rated porno film, but Kevin Smith has pulled it off. The director successfully appealed an NC-17 rating for his Zack and Miri Make A Porno, starring Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks. The film was given the commercially crippling Rating Formerly Known As X three times before Smith was able to convince the board that parents should be able to take their kids to his heartwarming tale of two lifelong friends who fall in love while creating an amateur porn company.
While relatively few movies have been able to win an appeal from the notoriously pro-violence/anti-sex MPAA (watch the hilarious documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated to learn more about the bizarre process), this is actually the second time Kevin Smith has made the board to change its mind. Check out five of the movies Zack and Miri will be joining in the MPAA Appeals Board Hall Of Fame. [Coming Soon]