Just in time for Martin Luther King Day, we have for you an exclusive red band trailer of the movie specifically designed to offend people of all races, creeds and sexual orientation, Movie 43. In the most hilarious way, of course, because that was MLK Jr.’s dream, right? When the first trailer came out, we pointed out the things we couldn’t help but laugh at, even though we knew we really shouldn’t. This new trailer includes many of those again — Anna Faris‘ indecent proposal to Chris Pratt, Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber bullying their home-schooled teen, Terrence Howard’s totally racist basketball coaching technique — and a couple of other jems, namely:
- Kieran Culkin and Emma Stone debating which of the Golden Girls was “the slutty one.”
- Elizabeth Banks pointing out to Josh Duhamel that their cartoon cat masturbates to pictures of him.
Ew. But jeez, can you blame him?
[Photo: Relativity Media]
Related: Movie 43 Trailer: Which A-Lister Is Most Hilariously Offensive?
There are so many hilariously offensive lines and scenarios in the trailer for Movie 43, we’re having a hard time imagining how many more will fit into the full-length movie. It’s a veritable Scary Movie for the PC crowd. After watching it a couple of times, we’re a little more immune to the shock. Our innocent ears can now fully embrace the humor. Here, for your cataloging pleasure, is a list of all the terrible (amazing) things these stars do and say:
- Anna Faris asks real-life husband Chris Pratt, “Will you poop on me?”
- Emma Stone asks Kieran Culkin, “How’s your HPV?”
- Halle Berry blows out a blind kid’s birthday candles on a dare.
In truth, celebrities’ children are not actually any cuter than regular kids, and we should not be here to judge one small, nonprofessional child against the other. BUT. After spending a week perusing through squee-worthy Twitpics of Snooki’s and Vanessa Lachey’s babies, catching sightings of Halle Berry and Denise Richards taking their kids to the pumpkin patch, seeing Emme Anthony fall asleep on J.Lo’s lap at a Paris fashion show, and more, we decided we just had to do something with all of this collective cuteness. And so we decided to make you decide which of these is the most adorable of all. We’re sure you’ll be up for the task.
[Photos: Getty Images, Splash News Online, Twitter]
Whatever weight Leonardo DiCaprio put on for his role in J. Edgar has already been worked off. We’d like the number of his trainer, please? He walked the red carpet for the world premiere of the film, held yesterday at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, looking slick and streamlined in a black suit and silver tie. Complementing him was Naomi Watts, who shimmered in a plunging sequined gown. Director Clint Eastwood didn’t seem too happy to face the cameras, but he did bring two of his children — actors Alison Eastwood and Scott Eastwood — who seemed quite comfortable amid the mayhem. There were also a host of other familiar faces spotted at the premiere. Armie Hammer, who also has a strong role in the movie, came with his beautiful wife, Elizabeth Chambers. Hilary Swank, Ed Westwick, Liev Schreiber (who accompanied wife Naomi) and Jennifer Love Hewitt all gave great red carpet face. Make sure to check out our gallery for all the action.
[Photos: Splash News Online]
It’s been about eight hours or so since nude photos of a young woman that bares a striking resemblance to Scarlett Johansson were leaked online. After seeing the seismic force with which these photos hit the Internet, it’s a wonder that all of the underground tubes through which information flows to the World Wide Web—the Internet is powered by underground tubes, right???—didn’t rupture and burst. Thankfully, Al Gore had the foresight to envision the necessary precautions that needed to be undertaken in case of exactly this sort of incident back when he invented the Information Superhighway™.
We here at TheFABLife have been debating not only the authenticity of these (alleged) ScarJo nudes all day, but also the rationale for them. To that end, here are three burning questions that we demand President Obama answer in a televised address by nightfall (all of which assume that it is actually Miss Johansson who appears in these pics):
1) WHO WAS SCARLETT JOHANSSON SEXTING, ANYWAY?
That is a great question! Alas, only Scarlett, the end recipient, and probably some C.I.A. operatives with high-level security clearance* that gives them the access to wiretap anyone in the United States at will have the answer to that question for sure. However, we DID do some research to help narrow it down. According to the metadata in the pictures, these photographs were “Taken with a BlackBerry Bold 9000 Last Modified Date/Time = 20:25, Oct 12, 2010.” Hmmm, where was ScarJo on October 12 of last year? Well, internet sleuths have already determined that she was in her bedroom. Based on that, the lucky louie that she sent them to be could be: Her husband at the time, Ryan Reynolds (though they would go on to divorce just two months later); her Broadway co-star, Liev Schreiber (the gossip mill seriously churned during A View From The Bridge‘s run); or possibly even one of her We Bought A Zoo co-stars Matt Damon (who is happily married) or Thomas Haden Church (who is happily unmarried). What we DO know is that she almost certainly didn’t send them to Sean Penn, because those two didn’t hook up until March of 2011.
Eva Mendes doesn’t get a lot of roles in serious pictures (not that we didn’t love her in The Spirit, The Other Guys and Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans), so we can’t blame her for dressing in earnest at the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of Last Night last night, where her heavy red gown stood out from the playful party dresses and men without ties. Also attending the affair were everyone from Tribeca regulars Robert DeNiro and Liev Schrieber to rarer sights like Courtney Love and Dionne Warwick. See photos from the festival red carpet and the afterparty in the gallery below.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Kristen Wiig must have missed the memo. While the men at the Paul premiere were dressed in business casual—suit jacket yes, tie optional, jeans maybe—and most of the women looked like they could have been guests at a semi-formal wedding, the Bridesmaids star showed up in a dramatic, ruffled gown that would have been out-of-place even if it also wasn’t totally sloppy and unflattering. Sure, Liev Schreiber‘s Sheen-style combo of baseball cap and jacket around the waist was also off-key, but when attending the premiere of a comedy starring Nick Frost, Simon Pegg, and Seth Rogen as a wry alien, one’s probably better off erring on the side of informality. No wonder Kristen threw on a leather jacket before hitting the afterparty.
See photos of the event—including an awesome shot of Jane Lynch cracking up Bill Hader—in the gallery below.
[Photos: Getty Images]
How have we ignored this cutie for so long? With all the Suri‘s, Zuma‘s, Kingston‘s and Maddox‘s running around town this blonde little guy hasn’t really got his due. So here he is, chilling with his nanny, but trust us, you know his parents. In the plural, because both Mom and Dad are famous. Any guesses so far? What’s his name and who are his talented ‘rents? You’ll have to check after the jump for answers.
As far as we can tell, the Drama Desk Awards—where Broadway plays compete with Off-Broadway ones for top honors—are a bit like the Golden Globes if a TV movie could plausibly knock its way to Best Picture if it was really, really awesome. But even this lackluster season, Broadway walked off with all the big trophies, making big winners out of Memphis and Red despite the middling response they’ve received from critics. We don’t know if Scarlett Johansson was robbed for her work in A View From The Bridge (Fences‘ Viola Davis took home Best Featured Actress In A Play instead), but we truly regret the lack of a photo of her holding a teeny glass phallus. See more winners (including Catherine Zeta-Jones and Liev Schrieber) and losers (including Anne Hathaway) in the gallery below.
Are Naomi Watts & Liev Schreiber auditioning for a new super-hero movie? We thought Liev was terrific as Sabretooth in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but the NY premiere of Naomi’s new film Mother And Child might not have been the place to show off their dramatic duds. Normally, the rainy weather would explain his trenchcoat (though not his fondness for low-cut shirts), but he looked more than a little overdressed next his partner in crime (and parenthood), who chose to combine puffy, pleated knee-high pants with a tight black sleeveless top. We don’t know what comic book teams a Simon Cowell-esque vampire with a sexy genie, but we don’t want to read it anyway.
[Photo: Getty Images]