by (@hallekiefer)

Full New Year’s Eve Trailer Looks Like A Bon Jovi-Slapping Good Time

Like we’re going to pretend we didn’t enjoy seeing Katherine Heigl slap Jon Bon Jovi in the full New Year’s Eve trailer. You know we’re not made of stone. While the movie is still overstuffed with celebrities from Ashton Kutcher to Zac Efron, and Michelle Pfeiffer‘s wig still looks like it crawled out of a drainage ditch behind the mop factory, it’s hard not to like a film that’s basically 90 minutes of witty banter leading up to a bunch of A-lister smooching and falling in love. Count us in! Oh, except for the part when Abigail Breslin shows off her brasserie to her horrified mother Sarah Jessica Parker for no apparent reason. What was that about? Girl child is 15!

by (@hallekiefer)

New Year’s Eve Trailer Stars 1,000 Celebs, One or Two Decent Jokes

Happy New Year’s, everyone in Hollywood! The New Year’s Eve trailer is out, and celebs are sprinkled throughout like the beer-soaked confetti covering your carpet on January 1st.  The cast includes, but is not limited to, Lea Michele, Ashton Kutcher, Zac Efron, Jessica Biel, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sofia Vergara, Abigail Breslin, Seth Meyers, Josh Duhamel, Sienna Miller, Carla Gugino and a partridge in a pear treeeeeee.  Oh, and Robert De Niro for a split second at the very,very end.

Maybe we’ve just been burned before, but anyone who’s seen Valentine’s Day, director Gary Marshall’s other rom-com starring five billion A-listers, knows that more celebrities does not mean more enjoyment (unless we’re talking about a charity fundraiser or an orgy). Not that the movie doesn’t have a few high points: an incredibly schlubby Michelle Pfeiffer, a mid-custody-battle Halle Berry, Katherine Heigl and Jon Bon Jovi‘s slap-a-thon and, of course, the Hilary Swank/Ludacris coupling that we are praying is actually the movie’s main focus. If we do end up seeing this movie, it’ll be in the same way we ring in the New Year: drunk, in Times Square and wearing only a diaper and sash.