We refuse to make the obvious “Yeah, baby!” joke that we are required, practically by law, to insert at the beginning of this post. Wait one minuteÃ¢â‚¬Â¦we accidentally made it anyway! Damn you, Powers! You’ve bested us again! People confirms that Kelly Tisdale and Mike Myers’s son Spike arrived two weeks ago, which means baby Spike probably already knows that Wayne’s World II just doesn’t measure up. “He is healthy and his parents are ecstatic,” the SNL alum’s rep says of Myers’ Mini-Me. On the other hand…Mike and Spike Myers? This is REAL LIFE, not Austin Powers 4. Seriously, you are naming an infant, Mike, not the sidekick to an obese Scottish super villain.
The parade of sequels keeps on coming, and it freaks us out, baby! It looks like after nine years, Mike Myers is bringing Austin Powers back to the big screen, and annoying British-accented catch phrases back to middle schools. HitFlix’s Drew McWeeny is reporting that the comedian has just signed on for a role in what is arguably his most famous and well-loved franchise. So far there’ s no official word on the plot or director, but it’s slated to be hashed out with Myers’ confidant and former director Jay Roach.
Mike has been surprisingly quiet lately, not offering up any live action staring roles since 2008′s summer disaster The Love Guru. The man of many faces is notoriously picky about which characters he wants to bring to the screen. He’s famously killed several big screen/big budget adaptions of his Saturday Night Live creations, including Dieter from Sprockets and Linda Richmond from Coffee Talk. Even though it seemed like he intended 2002′s Goldmember to wrap up the Austin Powers saga (tellingly ending it with a ‘The End’ placed before the credits), we guess Mike feels like there’s more of a story to tell. Or the bills are stacking up now that the Shrek series is finished. Either way, someone is about to get shagged.
[Photo: Getty Images]
With Mike Myers rarely performing without an elaborate costume, it may not have occurred to you how little the man’s look has changed in the more than twenty years since Wayne’s World first hit SNL. Sure, he’s a little paunchier, but, looking at the year-by-year retrospective in the gallery below, you’ll notice that the decades have been kind to ol’ Mike, with his hair still floppy and his eyebrows still lively. Good thing, considering the high profile work he’s got lined up. Mike will provide voices for three movies this year—Marvin The Martian, The Zookeeper and Bunnicula—and, assuming the notorious perfectionist ever approves the scripts, 2012 and 2013 will respectively bring us a Keith Moon biopic (despite Keith having died at age 32!) and an Austin Powers sequel. Throw in that new wife Kelly Tisdale is pregnant with his first child, and it looks like this ageless wonder has plenty more photo ops ahead.
Follow Mike year-by-year, from 1992 to today, in the gallery below.
[Photos: Getty Images/NBC]
We lift a heaping plateful of baby-back ribs in celebration of Mike Myer’s baby with wife Kelly Tisdale, who is already in her second trimester and, at this point, almost certainly not a Fembot. Unless the new models are terrifyingly more advanced… “I can confirm they are expecting a child,” Myers’ rep told the New York Post. Clearly a baby bump is harder to slip past the public than Mike Myers’s recent marriage, but seeing as how the couple was able to keep their nuptials a secret for months, we’d though the Austin Powers star would at least a little subterfuge. He already has all those fat suits lying around; why not have some fun with them? Either way, we have no doubt the Myers boy or girl will enjoy a typical childhood: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring they’ll make meat helmets. Pretty standard really.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Mike Myers is a walking contradiction. On one hand, he’s a huge star—one of the biggest comedy has. And yet the guy is forgotten about the second he’s not on your TV or movie screen. Proof is his relationship with Kelly Tisdale, who runs the cafe Teany with her ex-boyfriend Moby. Myers and Tisdale first hooked up in 2006 after his divorce from Robin Ruzan, with Tisdale telling the National Enquirer, “We’re actually surprised you guys didn’t find out about us sooner.” Well, the gossip hounds haven’t tightened their watch: Page Six confirmed that Myers and Tisdale got married five months ago…and no one noticed! We’d check if he was wearing a ring during his recent SNL appearance, but…eh.
Though we’re amused by this evidence of his weirdly indifferent superstardom (one similar to fellow comedy recluses like Chris “I Only Make Movies With Rush Hour In The Title” Tucker), we’re happy to hear things are working out so well for him and Tisdale—she clearly isn’t marrying him for the limelight!
[Photo: Splash News Online]
We’re convinced that 99% of things we say and think in our daily life are ripped off from a Mike Myers character, whether it’s Wayne, Austin Powers, or Charlie from So I Married An Axe Murderer. We can’t even listen to “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” without singing it in a Scottish accent, that’s how big of an influence Myers was on us growing up. So it’s not without a little bit of regret that we say this but, Mike, please stop making crappy movies. And please, please reconsider the Warner Brothers cartoon movie you’ve just signed on for where you plan to voice Pepe Le Pew, the rapey-est cartoon skunk there ever was.
We tolerated A View From The Top, cringed when we heard about The Cat In The Hat and downright turned on you after The Love Guru, so if this pattern is any indicator, the Pepe Le Pew movie is going to cause a revolt amongst otherwise sane, sensible people. That’s how bad we think it will be. Sometimes movies require some convincing when you hear their premise, like “Really? A dream within a dream within a dream where they fight in the snow within another dream? I don’t know, Inception!” or “An actual movie that’s actually about Facebook?” and we’re willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. But from the outset we can just tell that Mike Myers doing a French accent, wearing a skunk outfit and trying to molest fur coats and stray cats is going to be terrible. The only way we could find this forgivable is if it’s just part of Mike’s plan to become rich enough to join the Pentavirate, that secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, taking the coveted Colonel Sanders spot.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Cameron Diaz may have been promoting Shrek Forever After at the film’s premiere in LA this weekend, but her short skirt makes a little more excited for Knight And Day, where we’ll actually get to see those legs in action. If it wasn’t for these promotional appearances we wouldn’t even remember the latest Shrek sequel’s title—why not just call it Shrek: The Last Chapter if that’s what they’re going to put on every single poster? And how can Shrek have a “last chapter” if he’s “forever after” anyway? Possibly also pondering the contradiction with Cameron were stars Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas—though with paychecks like theirs’ we probably wouldn’t care either.
[Photo: Getty Images]
The stars of the latest (and last) installment of the Shrek franchise, Shrek Forever After, were out in Manhattan last night to walk the green carpet (because Shrek is green! And it’s Earth Day! Let’s pack as much metaphor into this green carpet as possible!) for the film’s premiere as part of the Tribeca Film Festival. That means that festival founder Robert DeNiro was on hand, and plenty of other randos, too. This event is further proof that Kelly Bensimon has become one of those traveling garden gnomes that has its photo taken at every possible opportunity, thus making us wonder how it’s logistically possible for her to be in so many places at once. Check out all the ogre-loving attendees below.
[Photos: Getty Images]
Since when did kilts get kinky? At the 8th Annual “Dressed To Kilt” charity fashion show, rocker Joan Jett donned door knockers on her buff bodice while Real Housewife of New York Kelly Bensimon obliviously grinned as her nipples peeked out of her plaid corset. The random smattering of kilted celebs on the runway included Al Roker, Mike Myers, a tightly-corseted Kellie Pickler, Donald Trump Jr., and sexy Marcus Schenkenberg. Anything for a good cause, right guys? [Photo: Getty Images, Splash News]
Want more wardrobe malfunctions? Check out our Top 40 Naughty Nipple Slips.
Tired of seeing the same handful of classy movies get award after award in redundant ceremony after redundant ceremony? Then be grateful for the Golden Raspberry Awards (or Razzies), which have celebrated the worst that Hollywood has to offer for almost thirty years. Check out the gallery to see who they decided to dis this time. Personally, we think The Spirit was robbed.