People really seem to like when Mike Tyson gets humble — and we think that’s why he’s trotted out this amazing story about a love triangle involving him, ex-wife Robin Givens and Brad Pitt on more than one occasion this year. He told the tale as part of his Spike Lee-directed one man show on Broadway over the summer, and while promoting it in April, he told it on Conan. Back then, the story went like this: Mike and Robin were in the midst of their divorce in 1989, but the boxer was still making frequent house calls to the actress’ house, “hitting it” just before they’d go to their lawyers’ offices to call each other every name in the book. Except one day, when Tyson rang the buzzer and no one was home. He was about to leave when Givens drove up to the house, with Brad Pitt. He told Conan that his first thought was, “Oh, man, I ain’t gonna get no p—y,” and instead of getting mad, “I went from a hard stallion to a wet noodle.”
Ke$ha topped the list of our 20 Worst Celebrity Tattoos a few weeks back when she proudly displayed her inner lip ink reading “Suck It” on instagram. But now the dollar-signed-one might have some competition in Miley Cyrus, who was seen today showing off her new Theodore Roosevelt-inspired tattoo. We say “might,” because honestly we’re not sure how to feel about it. Body art inspired by our 26th president isn’t something we come across on a regular basis. On one hand, we guess it’s a pretty cool quote taken from a 1910 speech in which he said “So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” But on the other hand…what? And furthermore, WTF? We know you’re just being Miley, but damn. Maybe she’s still feeling the patriotism from her 4th of July festivities. Head on down to the gallery below to see more celebrity tattoos that left us scratching our heads!
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Ke$ha, you’ve won again. You always do. Though never with a disturbing orifice tattoo before. “New tattoo!” the singer proclaimed on Instagram, displaying both her new “Suck It!” inner lip tattoo and what appears to be a gold toof. While we need some time to wrap our heads around why and to what purpose Ke$ha would get the inside of her mouth inked (Is it a command? To whom? Is it a reminder? It’s a reminder, isn’t it?), we only needed to see the photo for a millisecond to crown her queen of the bad celebrity tattoos, joining the likes of Gucci Mane‘s ice cream cone face ink and Hayden Panettiere‘s misspelled torso tattoo.
Don’t feel bad, every other famous with an awful tattoo! We probably just don’t know about your mouth art yet. Let us know, please; it’s what Instagram is for. In the meantime, everyone else can take a gander at our worst celebrity tattoo gallery. With Ke$ha at the lead, it looks like ya’ll need to start upping your bad tattoo game…
[Photo: Instagram/Getty Images]
Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez and the random paparazzo who may or may not be healing from a Bieber Beatdown, we apologize on behalf of all media for the relentless coverage of Sunday’s scuffle. It’s just, well, too many celebrities were behaving nicely, or behind closed doors, or just fully clothed, this weekend. We have no choice. And also, we can’t get over the idea of the uber-careful Mr. Swaggy Adult inflicting injury on someone. So, here’s just a little update of the news so far:
- Yes, there isvideo evidence of Justin Bieber’s considerable boxing skills, as he hits the bag and receives encouragement from Mike Tyson, we assume when Bieber was in Vegas for the Billboard Music Awards on May 20. He must have felt bad about wimping out on that GQ reporter who really wanted to hit him.
- “Nice hanging out with @justinbieber & @alfredoflores,” Tyson wrote on his Intagram this Sunday (about last week’s visit). Biebs’ handlers must have been thrilled with this timing.
- According to TMZ, the criminal battery case will be referred to the Los Angeles DA, as most high-profile cases are. If convicted, he’d face up to six months in jail.
- That kind of sentencing not very likely, though, “not in a zillion years,” legal expert Dana Cole told ABC News this morning. We highly suggest watching the ABC video, btw, as it includes hilarious imagery of actual film canisters and a briefcase full of money.
- Bieber tweeted that he’s focusing on “important stuff,” rather than, you know, trouble with the law. He jetted off to Oslo yesterday for a series of “secret” shows as he drops his newest single, “Die in Your Arms.”
- Randomly, the Los Angeles Times decided to remind us that this girl with cancer would probably not approve of Justin hitting people.
- Also, we were right about Bieber and Selena still being together.
We’re going to take a break from commenting on Ben Affleck’s new Justin-Bieber-as-a-mountain-man look for a little bit so we can reflect on what appears to be a new tattoo. Or at least it’s new to us. The actor flashed the ink as he took his daughters Violet and Seraphina to lunch in LA over the weekend, and to be honest we’re still trying to figure out what the hell it’s supposed to be. People keep insisting that the tat is a picture of a dolphin, but we’re not so convinced. It looks more to us like it could be one of the following:
1. The fabled Loch Ness Monster.
2. A tribute to the film Free Willy.
3. McDonald-Land character Grimace, after being run over with a steam roller.
4. A shaggy mop-top toupee.
Any suggestions, guys? But regardless of whatever it happens to be, Ben has officially joined our list of the goofiest celebrity tattoos. Check out the rest of the entries in the gallery below!
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Our jaws dropped when we heard of LaToya Jackson‘s abuse claims at the hands of ex husband (and manager), Jack Gordon. She appeared on The Talk and spoke about their relationship — he passed away in 2005 — and the details are truly shocking. LaToya said that she was offered to Mike Tyson, for him to have sex with her for a pay check! She explained, “Mike Tyson later told my mother and father and some other friends that he (Gordon) had told him that if he wanted to sleep with me he has to pay $100,000.” Whatwhatwhat?
She also said that Gordon forced and threatened her to take part in group sex and pose for Playboy. She told the stunned audience, “I was in brothels and everything. He put me (it was) everything I was against. He made me do Playboy twice and had me sit on the stage and say ‘Oh no, it was all my idea.’ And I had to do that because I knew what he said he would do, he would do it.” See, we told you this was just insane!
If this is all true, then we really feel for her. But all these confessions are timed with the recent release of her memoir Starting Over which is a no-holds-barred account of her life. The profitable angle gets us wary. Then again, if this is her form of catharsis and it’s her way of getting things off her chest, then who are we to say anything?
[Photo: Getty Images]
At least you can rest easy knowing when you go to buy The Hangover Part II DVD (along with 94% of the world’s population), Stu’s face tat will not have to be covered by a stylized dreamcatcher or the lyrics to “Allentown,” as Warner Bros. settled The Hangover Part II tattoo lawsuit out of court for an undisclosed amount. Ã¢â‚¬Å“Warner Bros. and Mr. [S. Victor] Whitmill have amicably resolved their dispute. No other information will be provided,” said attorney Geoff Gerber, who was representing Whitmill, Mike Tyson‘s tattoo artist, in the case. We’re sure Whitmill is relieved that he can get back to doing what he does best: giving awful tattoos in the hope that they’ll end up on camera near or around Zach Galifianakis.
Settling up now rather than wait for next year’s court date seems like a smart move for the studio, considering that a month after it premiered, The Hangover Part II is the highest earning R-rated comedy in the history of civilization, raking in $488.7 million worldwide. The film that used to hold the title of the highest-earning? The Hangover. With all that dough, the producers could potentially give everyone in the continental United States matching Tyson tattoos and still have enough to settle a lawsuit all over again. We’re not suggesting they should, mind you. Just that it’s a possibility.
[Photo: /Warner Bros.]
In case you’re studying up on how to be a tattoo artist/lawyer that sues only movie studios, you’ll be interest to hear that The Hangover Part II face tattoo case got thrown out of court this morning. A judge in St. Louis determined that Mike Tyson’s tattoo artist S. Victor Whitmill cannot file an injunction against Warner Bros for using his ink in the upcoming film, nor could he delay the movie’s release. Our suggestion that they Photoshop Ed Helm‘s face out of the film and replace it with another, even more manic Ken Jeong was met with silence.
“We are very gratified by the Court’s decision which will allow the highly anticipated film,Ã‚Â The Hangover Part II to be released on schedule this week around the world,” Warner Bros said in a statement. “Plaintiff’s failed attempt to enjoin the film in order to try and extract a massive settlement payment from Warner Bros. was highly inappropriate and unwarranted.” Other insane lawsuits dismissed today included an injunction against the Hangover Part II monkey for stealing her act from the monkey on Friends, and an injunction against Ed Helms filed by Jason Sudeikis, for making our mom think they were the same person until she saw them both on SNL. They do look alike, Mom!
[Photo: /Warner Bros.]
Did you know you can copyright an ill-advised tattoo design? Neither did we. Whoever owns the rights to “pouting Tasmanian Devil” or “yin yang symbol with a rose draped over it” should know they could have a lot of money coming their way, now that Mike Tyson’s tattoo artist is suing Hangover Part II filmmakers for using his design without permission. Thank goodness “crudely-drawn dragon” isn’t a copyrightable image, or else everyone in our high school would be completely bankrupt by now.
As you can hilariously see in the Hangover Part II trailer, Ed Helms‘ character awakes to find himself branded with Tyson’s famous face ink, an homage to the boxer’s cameo in the first movie. Now tattoo artist S. Victor Whitmill, who gave Tyson the tattoo in 2003, is suing Warner Bros. for violating his copyright. In addition to an undisclosed amount of money, Whitmill is attempting to prevent the film from even showing the design. Doesn’t he realize the more people see it, the greater the chance that some drunken frat will collectively decide to get it etched into their face as well? And you know what that mean. Cha-ching! Get that hideous tattoo money!
[Photo: /Warner Bros.]
Let’s not let Liam Neeson get wind of this, or else he is going to be super jealous. Apparently Mike Tyson says he would have worked with Mel Gibson “100%” on The Hangover 2, probably because he knows he has the upper body-strength needed to deal with Gibson on a daily basis. Zach Galifianakis? Not so much.
Says Tyson, “I’m not going to ever in my life point my finger at anyone. I don’t live in a glass house. None of us do.” Well, while it’s true most of us don’t live in glass houses, we’ve also never threatened to bury anyone in the rose garden outside of our actual houses. Soooooooo, it’s apples to oranges really.
Continued Tyson, “I work with anybody, as long as they’re respectful.” See, there’s the problem. From all reports, Gibson actually forgot what the word ‘respectful’ meant in order to make room in his brain for more racial epithets. It’s just science!
Some, reportedly even Gibson himself, criticized The Hangover director Todd Phillips for casting Tyson, a former drug-user and convicted rapist, but not Mel, who is also terrible. Didn’t their mamas ever tell them that two wrongs don’t make a right? Just because you have one criminal-level misogynist in a film doesn’t mean you have to pack the cast with them.Ã‚Â On the other hand, we’ve already started composing the theme song to The Mel And Mike Movie: Escape From Crazytown.Ã‚Â [Photos: Getty Images/]