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Jarvis Wants Oscar Winner Mira Sorvino To Get Into His Head

- By JARVIS

It’s not every day that someone just casually bumps into an Oscar-winning actress in an elevator. Well, maybe not casually. More like energetically forced, but still. Mira Sorvino!

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by (@shalapitcher)

Romy And Michele’s High School Reunion Reunion Campaign Is Under Way, And We Are Fully Onboard

Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino want to do a Romy and Michele's High School Reunion sequel.

When last we saw Romy (Mira Sorvino) and Michele (Lisa Kudrow), they had turned their failed lie about inventing Post-It notes into very successful careers as fashion boutique owners. They were supposed to be only 28 at the time, and a lot can happen between ages 28 and 43 — which is how old they’d be now. Even if you aren’t a superfan of the 1997 cult classic Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, you have to admit, objectively speaking, that there is plenty of room for a story about the ladies’ 25th high school reunion.

Not that we’re being objective here. We first got excited about the possibility of a reunion last month, when Sorvino visited VH1′s Big Morning Buzz Live and said she was fully onboard with doing a sequel.
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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Say Goodbye To House M.D. With A Look At His 30 Most Surprising Patients (And Associates!)

House M.D. finale airs tonightIt’s a very sad day for television as House M.D. ends its record busting run after an incredible (and sometimes incredibly gross) 8 seasons. We’ve loved this medical rethinking of Sherlock Holmes more than Dr. House loves his Vicodin, but fans everywhere know how it has to end: House must develop lupus. (Just kidding, it’s never lupus!) Although we could (and did) watch the show at any hour of any day, it’s especially good sick-day viewing. No  matter how bad you felt, you were always comforted by the fact that at least you weren’t bleeding out of your eyeballs or whatever horrible affliction was affecting House’s patient.

Aside from Hugh Laurie’s genius performance as the equally genius doctor, the show was bolstered by the fact that you never knew who was going to be wheeled through the ER door at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Every episode brought the potential for an inspired cameo, and the series had many over its 177 episodes. So to say goodbye to the magnificent drama, we’ve assembled a list of the 30 most surprising guest stars to ever appear on House M.D. Join us in saluting the great Mr. Laurie as he hangs up his cane for the very last time and goes to the great detox in the sky.

[Photo: Fox]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Olivier Martinez’s Life-Long Search For The Perfect Woman Is Over; Halle Wins

Olivier Martinez and Halle Berry might be headed down the aisle soon if rumors are true, but Halle certainly isn’t Olivier’s first stunningly gorgeous lady friend. Or his first Academy Award-winning lovah. Angelina Jolie, Mira Sorvino and Kylie Minogue are just a few of the beautiful, talented, internationally known women Olivier has wooed in his lifetime. Ex Minogue even tweeted, “Congrats to Olivier Martinez and Halle Berry!! #wedding” today, rather than, say, “Burn in hell, Olivier #forever,” which seems like a great sign.

Now, we know we’re not genetically perfect or have Oscars lining or trophy case or anything, but if our ex had even so much as held hands Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, we’d have to hang up our dating pants right then and there. But this is Halle Berry, people! Not even starring in Catwoman can break her stride. Not even Catwoman.

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by (@missmuttoo)

Celebrities Have A Blast While Donald Trump Gets Roasted At White House Correspondent’s Dinner

There’s a reason why Donald Trump looks so glum in this picture, while John Legend and girlfriend Chrissy Teigen look like they’re having a ball. Celebrities flocked to Washington D.C on Saturday for the White House Correspondent’s Association dinner and as usual the glam factor was pretty high. But the best part of the evening was that  Trump was trumped by President Barack Obama and later, by Seth Meyers, who made some pointed jokes at The Donald’s expense in response to the “birther” debate.

Obama cracked some big ones like, “I know he’s taken some flack lately, but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate issue to rest than Donald, and that’s because he can get back to the issues that matter, like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?” Meyers rubbed it in even further with jibes like, “Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic, because a fox often appears on Donald Trump’s head.” Ouch. Donald’s massive ego must’ve taken an even more massive beating!

Now you see why Trump looks dyspeptic, right? But even he can’t deny that the dinner was an amazing success. The ladies looked gorgeous in full-length gowns (except Michelle Trachtenberg who needs to take it easy on the goth lipstick). Mila Kunis, Anna Paquin, America Ferrera, Rosario Dawson and a very pregnant Alyssa Milano hit it out of the ball park. Paula Abdul looked pretty fantastic too—surprise surprise. The men repp’d it with the likes of Ian Somerhalder, Chris Colfer and Chace Crawford looking sharp in their suits. This also happens to be the night Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn made their hand-holding public. Page Six reports that Scarlett and Sean were all over each other at dinner with a source revealing, “She plopped down in his lap, and they were kissing.” We may not have pictures of their make-out sesh, but we do have plenty of the rest of the stars in all their finery. Check them out in our gallery below.

[Photos: Splash News Online]

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Sandra Bullock Doesn’t Think She Has A Chance On Oscar Night

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Sandra Bullock made a huge transformation this year from fluff film actress to serious Oscar contender, but even she is skeptical about her chances at taking home an Academy Award next month. “I’m so not winning an Oscar,” Bullock told reporters at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival last Friday. “Nine times out of ten I always pick who’s going to win and I already know who’s going to win. I’m not going to say, but nine times out of ten, I’m right.” Those are some decent odds, Sandy. We bet everyone in your Oscar party pool hates you!

We think Bullock is being a bit humble, not because we think she was that amazing in The Blind Side, but because the academy has a history of awarding beautiful women with a statue and then allowing them to go right back to making crappy movies. Halle Berry made Catwoman and Gothika after she won, and Mira Sorvino‘s best role after her Best Supporting Actress win was a guest appearance on Will and Grace. However, Bullock seems gracious and happy just to be a contender in a field of amazing performances this year and we’re already willing to forgive whatever fish-out-of-water romantic comedy she hands us next.

[Photo: SplashNewsOnline]