In comic books, heroes are either born or made, but in Hollywood, superheroes are cast. The behind-the-scenes battles to see which actor will become which superhero are legendary and the tales of those stars who fell just short are epic.
Today is tax day, and if you’re like us you were up all night filing for a extension. Haha, just kidding! We had our dad do it months ago. One day we’ll be real people and figure out how all those forms work…But we take comfort in the fact that some celebs are just as bad about all that IRS stuff. So maybe there’s hope for us, afteral!
In The Call, Halle Berry plays a 911 emergency operator who must help save Abigail Breslin from a murderer over the phone. In the film, Berry also makes a convincing argument for why she deserves to enter the pantheon of great actors who give great performances in classic B-movies.
Nicolas Cage has played some pretty insane characters in his day, which is why we guess it makes sense that Dreamworks honcho Jeffrey Katzenberg asked him to provide voice to Shrek, the lovable green ogre in the film of the same name. But amazingly for a guy who has made The Wicker Man, Con-Air, The Rock, and Bangkok Dangerous (we could go on), Nic turned him down!
We’re betting the second Lance Armstrong agreed to do that revealing Oprah interview this week, a million Hollywood execs shed a single tear, knowing there could be only one Lance Armstrong cheating scandal movie. According to Deadline, Paramount Pictures and producer JJ Abrams beat them all to the punch, closing the deal on the filmmaking rights to the proposal for Cycle of Lies: The Fall Of Lance Armstrong, a book to be written by sports reporter Juliet Macur. That’s right: they bought the proposal to a book that has not yet been written. Now we want to shed a single tear over how genius that is.
Since it’ll be a little while before shooting starts, we have plenty of time to pitch potential actors to play America’s Most Hated Athlete (You’re welcome, Manti Te’o!). As for who should play his ex Sheryl Crow…um, obviously it should be Sheryl Crow herself. Wouldn’t you love to star in your ex’s downfall story? Meanwhile, we’d love to see Sheryl across from…
We could not be more pleased with your decision-making skills, Ashley Tisdale. You too, Ashley Tisdale’s agent and manager and anyone else who helped her land the role of Nicolas Cage‘s offspring in Left Behind. According to Deadline, the former High School Musical star has been cast as Chloe Steele; she and father Ray Steele must learn how to survive on Earth after the biblical Rapture. We guess what we’re saying is, a Christian-themed apocalyptic action movie starring Nicolas Cage is an automatic Wicker Man-style cult hit, and Ashley was smart to get on board.
It’s not like Ashley Tisdale hasn’t been getting work, of course. She’s lined up to voice Sabrina Spellmen in the Sabrina The Teenage Witch reboot as well as Scary Movie 5, and recently did two episodes of Sons Of Anarchy. If anything, daughter of Cage is the perfect compliment to girl sorceress, comedy horror victim and prostitute. All those roles sound vaguely Cage-like as well! Hmmm, maybe Nicolas Cage could mentor Ashley into becoming some kind of Lady Cage? A new generation of Cage fans are dying to know how did it get burned, and Ashley Tisdale seems like the perfect person to tell them!
[Photo: Getty Images]
James Van Der Beek might be playing “James Van Der Beek” in Don’t Trust The B In Apartment 23, but he’s not, you know, playing James Van Der Beek. “It’s funny, people say, ‘He’s playing himself,’ and I think, Well, I’m playing this demented version of — I don’t know what. It has echoes of me in maybe, like, my worst day ever,” the Dawson’s Creek star laughs in his new Vulture interview. “But most of it is just completely made up with little kernels of truth: behavior I’ve seen from other actors, or some of the writers have seen.” Personally, we absolutely love when celebs play weird or awful version of themselves; it shows that they have a sense of humor about themselves. Luckily James joins a cadre of excellent celebs who have lampooned themselves on TV, such as…
This just in from the reliable news source that we call the World Wide Web: Leonardo DiCaprio is actually a time traveling she-vampire from the 1960s. We know, we were surprised too! But the evidence is pretty convincing. See for yourself in the photo above! On the right is standard issue Leo circa 1996. And on the left is a photo found by a Tumblogger in her grandmother’s vintage yearbook, depicting a woman known as Judy Zipper in 1960. The resemblance is pretty eerie. That smile, those mischievous eyes, it’s all pure DiCaprio! Or should we say, pure Zipper…? Who knows when he switched genders, but we’re guessing it was sometime in the 1980s.
This is not the first case of Hollywood celebs turning out to be time traveling swashbucklers. Nicolas Cage was famously outed as a time-traveling vampire last fall, and a photo of John Travolta in 1860 turned up on eBay around the same time. Thank god we have the internet to expose all of these era-jumping Oscar-nominated immortals! But the important question is, what do they want? Elaborate tombs for resting? The blood of masseurs? Outrageously expensive hybrid cars? We may never know. Maybe they just want a part in Twilight?
[Photo: Tumblr/Getty Images]
Do your movies keep filling up the direct-to-DVD dollar bin? Do they often complete the phrase “the worst film since…”? Do they make less money than we did that time we went to a Coinstar? Well, don’t let that get you down, because you could still be in the running for Oscar glory! Every year, the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation names the most terrible films and performances of the year. Sure, it’s gotta hurt to be named the absolute worst of Hollywood, but just know that you’re in surprisingly good company. Check out the gallery below to see some Oscar winners who have also been up for a Razzie!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Last we heard about Nicolas Cage’s finances, he was going broke and banks were auctioning off several of his foreclosed New Orleans mansions. He even resorted to suing his money gurus for fraud and for placing him in “numerous highly speculative and risky real estate investments” that have lead him to the brink of “financial ruin.” But we guess that’s all over now, because Nic just shelled out $2000 for a steak knife! But to be fair, this isn’t just any old piece of cutlery. It’s a custom-made 4-inch Don Dezarn with a bald eagle carved into an ivory handle! The knife is apparently meant as a decorative collectable, but Nic told shop keepers at the Alaska shop that he actually intends to use the piece to cut his meat. That sounds just like the deliciously crazy Nicolas Cage that we know and love. Check the gallery below for more outrageous purchases that probably didn’t help with Nic’s financial ruin!
[Photo: Getty Images]