Celebrities — they’re just like us, right? By which we mean, our stars arrive as a mixed bag: We have our American sweethearts, the class clowns and, of course, the bad seeds. Even if it’s normal for a former Disney teenage star to flash her crotch in public these days, Santa does not approve. And yet other A-listers used their stardom in 2012 to rise above the fray, display their philanthropic ways, and prove there are menches in Hollywood. Their hard work does not go unnoticed, and we know those little elves (a.k.a., their agents) are stuffing some A-list gifts in their stockings. Because we all know that Justin Bieber really needs another hoodie. And maybe we need the Lindsay Lohans out there to make us appreciate the Matt Damons even more. Here we’ve broken down our list of our naughty n’ nice celebrities of 2012.
1. Chris Brown – I don’t even know where to begin with this one. Brown brawled with Drake in a club, rekindled a romance with the woman he abused and tattooed an image of a battered woman on his neck. Ah, Chris Brown. You never fail to prove you are the biggest douchebag there ever was. Not only will Santa be skipping your house this year, but I can assure you, Dancer, Prancer, and Rudolph will send you a stocking filled with their droppings.
2. Amanda Bynes – The former child star who rose to fame with All That and The Amanda Show is now giving audiences a different kind of Amanda show — one filled with hit and runs and DUIs. Santa may not think you’re all that this year, but hopefully you can take that as a sign to get it together for 2013. Put down the booze, get some help, and nab a supporting role in an indie comedy to reboot your career. Or, if you’re really retiring from acting, take a break from making headlines too. We’re rooting for you, Amanda.
3. Nicki Minaj – Nicki needs to learn to respect her elders … and the divas around town. She and Mariah Carey have been at it since auditions of American Idol this year, and we’re placing blame on the rap star who allegedly threatened to “shoot” Mariah in an argument. There’s no need for that kind of drama in the search for America’s next pop star, is there? Coal for you, Ms. Minaj.
The holidays are a time to celebrate goodwill for all human kind. And that’s cool and all, but that stuff gets sort of old after a while. So now let’s take a minute and take a look at all famous folks who didn’t get the peace and harmony memo! We’ve assembled our list of the top 20 most brutal celebrity beat-downs of 2012. Join us in a chant of “Fight fight fight!” and check it out!
20. Rita Ora vs. Rob Kardashian: Rita Whora’s Revenge
Rob Kardashian didn’t handle his heartbreak all that great following his split with Rita Ora. Instead of posting passive aggressive Facebook statuses like the rest of us, he went on an all-out Twitter assault against his former flame, claiming that she cheated on him with 20 dudes, and coining the obvious pun, “Rita Whora,” which became a trending topic soon after. #Revenge? #SmallVictories
Stitches required: Just 1 for Rob’s broken heart.
Remember that hoopla about the big Thanksgiving brawl at Halle Berry‘s house? It was between her ex, Gabriel Aubry and her current fiance, Olivier Martinez, which resulted in some pretty nasty bruises all over Aubry’s face. Aubry also claimed that Martinez attacked him and threatened to kill him, as he was angry over the $ 3 million payout he and Halle had to pay over daughter Nahla‘s custody battle. Olivier and Halle lost the battle, which is why Aubry said the French actor went berserk, resulting in what’s turning out to be an epic fight.
Now, in an interesting turn of events, TMZ claims that the police has ascertained that Aubry’s pants are clearly on fire, because he was the prime instigator of the fight — not Martinez. Detectives found out that the series of events that concluded with the brawl, involved Martinez going up to Aubry, as he dropped Nahla off to Berry’s house for Thanksgiving, saying, “We have to talk.” Aubry then apparently pushed Martinez and then threw a punch at his face, only to hit his shoulder. Which is when Martinez went into kick-ass defence mode and punched Aubry three times. Sources have even told TMZ that Gabriel has “ongoing anger issues” and that, “It seems he’s still having a hard time getting over his break up with Halle.” He’s got a lucky break in this whole mess though, as Halle and Olivier are not pressing charges against him as they feel it would hurt their daughter Nahla, of who Gabriel is the biological father of. While this drama is still unfolding, here’s one very important lesson we’ve learnt from the whole thing: you do not mess with Olivier Martinez. Or the French in general.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Olivier, Halle, Nahla, Gabriel … and their lawyers, Shawn Holley and Blair Berk
Maybe someone should send Shawn Holley and Blair Berk over to the Middle East next. The two celebrity lawyers did what we weren’t sure was possible yesterday: They reached a settlement in the battle between Halle Berry, Olivier Martinez and Gabriel Aubry following their Thanksgiving Day brawl. “The parties have reached an amicable agreement. There will be no further statements regarding this matter,” Berk revealed to TMZ and other outlets, via a handwritten note.
So, we have no idea whether this amicable agreement extends to the underlying dispute over whether Halle and Olivier can take Halle and Gabriel’s daughter, Nahla, to Paris with them (a judge had ruled no earlier this month). It could just be about the order prohibiting Gabriel from seeing Nahla after last week’s fight, which left the Canadian model with a black eye and broken nose and Olivier with some messed up fists.
We’re happy for Aubry’s lawyer Holley, at least, ’cause now she’s going to have to turn her attention back to keeping Lindsay Lohan out of jail. If she can solve that one, we’re pretty sure she can fix global warming too.
[Photos: Splash News Online]
Related: Gabriel Aubry V. Olivier Martinez: 5 Mostly Relevant Facts About Halle Berry’s Men
Gabriel Aubry broke even yesterday when it came to legal wrangling in the aftermath of his Thanksgiving Day altercation with Halle Berry’s fiance, Olivier Martinez. First, the court refused to lift a prohibition on him getting within 100 yards of his and Berry’s daughter, Nahla, according to TMZ. But at the same time, law enforcement sources said he probably won’t be prosecuted for battery, since it was a case of “mutual combat.”
While all this is going on, we took a step back to review some interesting things about Halle’s current and former men, things that are sorta relevant to this situation:
1. Martinez, the son of a professional boxer, told Ocean Drive magazine last month that when he was considering taking up the sport himself, ” I a good left hook — but keep that a secret.”
2. Last year, the Telegraph named Aubry one of the top 10 earning male models in the industry. Despite his nice income, Berry was reportedly ordered to give him $20,000 a month in child support.
Gabriel Aubry is heading to court today, TMZ reports, to ask a judge to lift the prohibition on him seeing daughter Nahla, following his Thanksgiving Day brawl with Halle Berry’s fiance, Olivier Martinez. As we mentioned yesterday, the Canadian model filed papers accusing Martinez of being the aggressor in the fight, which left Aubry with the frightening injuries you see above.
See, we want to make more jokes about families fighting on Thanksgiving (because humor is how we deal with sadness), but considering how bad this news story is getting, that might be a tad gauche. Accurate…but a tad gauche. After news broke that Halle Berry had obtained an emergency protective order against Gabriel Aubry following a Thanksgiving brawl at her home, the Cloud Atlas actress’s ex is now claiming that her current fiance Olivier Martinez attacked him first, in addition to threatening to kill him. According to TMZ, Aubry alleges in a legal declaration the French actor was enraged over the $3 million he and Berry allegedly lost in her custody battle over daughter Nahla, leading Martinez to attack Aubry in the driveway. Witnesses told police that it was actually Aubry who started the fight, though with all the screaming and flailing any normal person would be doing at such a time, it’s possible that certain details were unclear.
Leading credence to model Aubry’s claims, however, are the bruises he has been sporting since the incident. Obviously we weren’t at Halle Berry’s house during the brawl (thank goodness, because we doubt that situation needed more panicked screaming), but the idea that Olivier Martinez would demand Aubry move to Paris or “Olivier would kill him” seems a touch far-fetched. Or maybe that’s just us hoping this story isn’t as horrible as it seems. It was a holiday, for pete’s sake! We are not looking forward to Christmas, is all we’re saying.
[Photo: Splash News]
It’s a sad truth that most families fight over thanksgiving, but it’s been rare that someone has left the table with a black eye. We guess Halle Berry’s family is more hardcore than ours, because her baby-daddy Gabriel Aubry had an epic Thanksgiving throwdown with her fiance Olivier Martinez! It all started when Aubrey swung by Berry’s house to drop off four-year-old daughter Nahla Ariela for the holiday.
According to witnesses, things went south when Martinez confronted Aubrey when he wouldn’t leave the driveway, and told Halle’s ex that “We have to move on.” The pair apparently exchanged insults in French and soon Aubry started swinging. “He shoved Olivier, then punched him,” a friend who was present told Us Weekly. “Olivier just defended himself.” After a violent shuffle, Martinez wrestled him to the ground and restrained him until police arrive and placed Aubrey under arrest for misdemeanor battery. He posted the $20,000 bond later that evening and was released following a trip to the ER. He is due back in court on December 13th.
Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy have been dating since May, but after an uptick in their public appearances (and PDA) of late, it seems like the world is still coming to terms with whether this couple is creepy, cute or just plain odd. But if we keep harping on the age difference between the 25-year-old actress-turned-fashion mogul and her 42-year-old businessman BF, we’re missing something else in this story: French guys are the hottest new accessory for Hollywood ladies. First we saw Halle Berry and her delicious actor fiance Olivier Martinez. Then Aussie beauty Melissa George, after her split from Russell Simmons, hooked up with French millionaire Jean-David Blanc and was recently spotted shopping for wedding dresses.
Hilary Swank took up with French real estate broker Laurent Fleury this fall, and already they’re said to be sharing his apartment in Paris when they’re not going for romantic walks in Venice Beach. And just this week, Scarlett Johansson was spotted in New York with Romain Dauriac, the former editor of French art magazine Clark, whom she may have met through her tattoo artist.
We have no way of knowing if all these French paramours share anything in common besides incredibly sexy accents (and possibly bank accounts large enough to keep up with these successful ladies), but it’s nice to know the only ones who’ve dreamed of being swept off our feet by a barely shaved, impossibly masculine guy who also knows how to order wine and make us feel like a princess. Not to buy into stereotypes or anything.
[Photos: Getty Images]
If we were engaged to Olivier Martinez, we would rent a plane and sky-write it over Manhattan…which is probably why we’re not engaged to Olivier Martinez. Halle Berry, however, kept silent about her alleged engagement to the French actor for three months after rumors about their betrothal hit the Interweb. Until this weekend, that is. “Who knew?” Berry laughed while talking with Extra on the Jenesse Center Silver Rose Gala red carpet this past Saturday. “I swore it off, right? Never say never, people!” Halle did apparently vow never to marry again in an interview with InStyle back in 2007, two years after her divorce from singer Eric Benet and ten after splitting with former Yankee David Justice. Who could have guessed Halle Berry would meet a devastatingly handsome Frenchman and fall in love after that? Okay, we could have guessed, but our point is no one could have known for sure.
Halle might have remained mum as to her relationship status, but that doesn’t mean Olivier did. “Yes, of course it’s true,” he said about engagement rumors while promoting his new Miami restaurant Villa Azur in early March. No word on when the happy couple is getting hitched. Whatever the date, rest assured that it will be three or four months before we ever find out about it.
[Photo: Getty Images]