Sorry, Snow White. Nothing personal, Thor. Of course we still love you, the Batman. We always will. It’s just that when it comes to summer movies, we love a glowering villain as much as we love a virtuous hero. Maybe a little more. Maybe … a lot more.
Luckily for us (and you!), this summer’s films are jam-packed with some of the most malevolent evil characters imaginable, ready to face off against the hottest heroes and heroines from May to August. Tom Hiddleston reprises his Thor role as power-hungry extraterrestrial Loki in this week’s The Avengers, while Flight of the Concords’ Jemaine Clement breaks Will Smith‘s stride as an easy-riding alien by the name of Boris in Men in Black III. Closer to home (and to your childhood nightmares), Queen Charlize Theron goes after Kristen Stewart‘s heart (not in the romantic way) in Snow White and the Huntsman, while Eva Green does the same to Johnny Depp (in both the romantic and evil way?) as smitten witch Angelique Bouchard in Dark Shadows.
Of course, not every memorable villain has to be from another planet or or the fairy-tale realm. Some of them can be regular ol’ criminal masterminds, like Salma Hayek‘s drug kingpin Elena in Savages, Faran Tahir‘s Cobra Commander in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Bryan Cranston‘s Vilos Cohaagen in the Total Recall remake and Edward Norton‘s Byer in The Bourne Legacy. We are especially psyched to see Tom Hardy‘s Bane grapple the Caped Crusader in The Dark Knight Rises while Rhys Ifans takes on Andrew Garfield in The Amazing Spider-Man. Because what’s an epic battle scene with out an epic villain? A 15-second slap fight?
Not that every villain has to be locked in life-or-death combat, mind you. Some of them are just maniacally vain. Sacha Baron Cohen‘s General Aladeen in The Dictator, anyone? Catherine Zeta-Jones‘ high-strung Patricia Whitmore will also be inflicting all the damage she can against the demon that is rock in Rock of Ages, while Adam Sandler only accidentally ruins his son Andy Samberg‘s wedding/marriage/life. That being said, if you somehow get your only child to throw up on his fiance’s wedding dress … yeah, you’re the bad guy.
Finally, we have to give props to those villains who don’t even come in a humanoid package. We are dying to see what the surprisingly awesome-looking Battleship aliens look like under their masks (Weird eyes? Check! Four-fingered hand? Check!), and we’re all ready to take our hats off to the Piranhas 3DD piranhas. Not only are they blood-thirsty, they are also responsible for Ving Rhames‘ character having machine gun legs. What aren’t villains good for? Which big bad has your ticket-buying hands shaking with anticipation this summer? Check out our gallery of villainy, and cast your vote. Just remember: When it comes to picking a favorite archnemesis, there is no wrong choice.
“That Kate Moss is a party animal – but so am I. I played that crazy nutjob Spike in Notting Hill about four thousand years ago, you know, and people still think I’m him so I have to live up to the reputation. No matter that I’m a 41-year-old thesp who was in that godawful bucket-load of crapness known as Pirate Radio – I’m still cool! So damn cool I stick a pair of flowers in my ears when coming out of the Ivy Club. Well, I was with Kate Moss, innit? And she’s such a caner I thought I’d show her I can do mental crazy sh*t too! Wooo!”
A peek into the mind of Rhys Ifans last night. Probably.
We admit it, we’ve warmed to Sienna Miller over the last year or so. Not only does her exit from a relationship with Jude Law now seem like the luckiest escape any girl could make, she gamely took part in a hilarious spoof Mama Mia sketch for charity and she has a brilliant non-off switch when talking about herself, making her — shocker! — an interesting celebrity interview.
In the latest issue of GQ magazine, Sienna addresses the negative publicity surrounding her relationship with married Balthazar Getty head-on (rather than getting her publicist to ban all mention of it), and expressed her regrets about how it went. “The situation I got into [with Getty] was not ideal but it happened and if I could go back and be more responsible, I would … I’ve always kind of done exactly what my instincts said. I have a good brain on me but I’ve never really used it when it came to making decisions about love, which has been a blessing and a curse,” she said.
Sienna then admitted she knew her name had taken a bashing over the scandal. “I’m supposed to be this complete slapper [i.e., English jargon for a "loose woman"], that’s my reputation. But actually I was in a relationship from 19 to 21 with fashion designer Dave [Neville], 21 to 24 with Jude, then 25 to 26 with Rhys, and then Balthazar. And then a few dalliances, three months here and there, but I’ve never been like a shagger.” We think we might love her. Especially as she promises she is now “single.” Good work! [Photo: WireImage]
Got a spare $1.6m? If you do, you could do better than buy Sienna Miller‘s old London pad, which is up for grabs for nearly $500,000 off the original asking price! Sienna’s two-bedroom house in Paddington, London, has apparently been sitting on the market unsold for five months — and after seeing the pics, we’re lusting over the open-plan layout that gives this London house a loft feel, the floating staircase and mezzanine floors. But the real icing on the cake is the super-cool sunken Turkish bath which takes up the whole of the basement level. Amazing. Just imagine the stories that room could tell. Ugh, now our head’s full of a naked Rhys Ifans, her ex-boyfriend. Maybe not. [Photo: WireImage]
There comes a time in a man’s life when he’s no longer able to pass off touchy-feely behavior as youthful exuberance or sexy flirting, and it just seems like pervy weird-old-man stuff. Unfortunately, Sienna Miller‘s ex Rhys Ifans still thinks he’s able to get away with it, despite being in his forties.
At the premiere of his latest movie The Boat That Rocked, Rhys took advantage of the film’s 1960s setting by demonstrating some very 1960s behavior and resting his hands upon some poor models’ asses on the red carpet. How very “cheeky.” He was also overheard saying to a journalist he’d dance for her “if you take your clothes off.” And he wore sunglasses on the red carpet at night. Sigh. Get a grip, grandad! [Photos: Splash News Online]