We’ve heard of establishments with a “No Shirt, No Service” rule and we’ve heard of swanky restaurants with a “Jacket Required” pre-requesiate. We’ve never heard of a place where you have to wear a jacket, but go topless, but according to this year’s sexiest magazine covers, it’s the latest and greatest fashion trend that will never hit the mainstream.
Think insurance is boring? Think again! Celebrity is all about looking good, but sometimes diet, exercise and plastic surgery isn’t enough. That’s where the insurance man comes in. Many famous faces have taken extra precautions to protect their most valuable assets: their body. Holly Madison just became the latest Hollywood hottie to insure what their momma gave ‘em, but believe us when we say that there are a hell of a lot more than just her. From J-Lo’s booty to Dolly Parton’s breasts, Celine Dion’s voice and Bob Dylan’s lack-of-voice, check some of the craziest celeb insurance plans below! Don’t worry, we’ve come to terms with the fact that Heidi Klum’s left leg is worth more than we’ll ever make in our lifetime. You will too. Promise.
[Photo: Getty Images]
She may be bad, but she’s certainly good at it. Rihanna took to the stage at England’s V Festival over the weekend in shorts that redefined short-shorts. The sassy singer is known for her provocative (some would say “risque”) concert attire, so these booty shorts could be seen as downright demure by her sizzling standards. Maybe she was meeting the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge for tea afterwards. Riri completed the ensemble with an unbuttoned denim shirt knotted at the waist, creating a Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island look. Provided they ever opened a Gilligan’s Island themed strip club. Check out more of the leggy look in the gallery below!
Michael Lohan. Billy Ray Cyrus. And now Rihanna‘s dad: the latest in the grand tradition of attention-starved Hollywood papas. In her new Vogue interview, Rihanna talks about her father and his odd behavior toward the press, including dishing to tabloids and handing out Rihanna’s childhood photos. “It really makes me question what I have become to my father. Like, what do I mean to him?” the Vogue cover model wonders. “It’s really strange. That’s the only word I can think of to describe it, because you grow up with your father, you know him, you are part of him, for goodness sake! And then he does something so bizarre that I can’t begin to wrap my mind about it. You hear the horror stories about people going behind people’s backs and doing strange things, but you always think, not my family. My father would never do that to me.” We’re sure Thora Birch thought the same thing; now she’d be lucky to book an Arby’s commercial.
One particularly upsetting example of Dad FAIL occurred when Rihanna’s dad spoke to the press about Chris Brown on multiple occasions, and without his daughter’s permission. “That was the first time,” she says. “My dad went to the press and just told them a bunch of lies. Because he hadn’t talked to me after.. that whole thing… He never called to find out how I was doing, if I was alive, nothing. He just never called. He went straight to the press and got a check. And now he does it again. Now I’m like. Whatever. I tried.” If it’s any consolation, at least Mr. Rihanna hasn’t booked his daughter any fake gigs on Letterman. Oh yikes, sorry. Didn’t mean to give him any more awful parenting tips.
If Rihanna’s Vogue cover make the singer look like a beautiful merperson, Rihanna’s Vogue photos taken all together make her look like Ariel’s bad-ass older sister. Arista, maybe? Possibly Attina? That fish woman does not mess around. Shot by Annie Leibovitz, Rihanna alternates between frolicking on the beach and glowering at the camera. We don’t know if you can smoke or drink if you live underwater and have the internal organs of a fish, but if so, Rihanna would be doing it. Either way, you can tell she’d sooner slap a sea witch across the face than give up her voice for a dude.
As the cover girl for Vogue‘s Shape issue, Rihanna discusses her workout routine in the April issue. “I hate going to the gym and doing it the old-fashioned way,” the singer admits. Well, ellipticals aren’t built for aquatic animals; it’s an issue of skeletal structure. Oh, you know what…we’re going put down this issue for a little bit and walk away. We’ve been looking thinking about this analogy for way too long.
Justin Bieber might be a golden child with unnaturally lovely tresses, a wax figure in his likeness, and rabidly defensive fans, but one thing he can’t have is a date with Rihanna. At the NBA All-Star game, Bieber sat with RiRi and used his close proximity to ask her out on a date. It didn’t go as planned for the 16-year-old. Bieber explains “I asked her out. It didn’t go so well, since I’m not with her. I asked her out and she was basically like, ‘You’re too young.’” So, wait, what about Selena Gomez? Didn’t Bieber just send a truckload of flowers to her door? Oh, wait, maybe he did that because he was feeling guilty. Ahhh-HA! It all makes sense now.
We also have to applaud Rihanna for having the good sense to say no to the Biebs, but we still expect the Belieber backlash against her to start in 3…2…1. She, Kim Kardashian, and Esperanza Spalding should start a club.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Rihanna and Matt Kemp broke up in December after dating for most of 2010. But as anyone who reads Jane Austen or watches Jersey Shore knows, nothing is permanent when it comes to matters of love, and Bossip reports that RiRi and Kemp are secretly dating once again.
The speculation that their flame is rekindled is the result of an interview Kemp gave to 710ESPN where he spoke about his relationship with Rihanna in the present tense. He said “Ri is a great person, a great motivator, somebody that I love dearly and she helps me to become a better person. My personal relationship has nothing to do with what I do on the field.” We listened to the interview with Kemp and it’s pretty hard to tell if he was just putting a positive spin on the past, or if it was an intentional choice of verb tense, but we’re a sucker for a happy ending and wouldn’t be upset to hear that these two kids were giving it another go.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Rihanna‘s video for the song “S&M,” has already been banned in 11 countries but the drama surrounding the sexy video doesn’t stop there. Photographer David LaChapelle is suing Rihanna, claiming she “directly derived” some of the images in the video from LaChapelle’s fashion photography. In other words, he got ripped off.
The lawsuit says “the music video is directly derived from and substantially similar to the LaChapelle work,” specifically eight shots in the video, which he claims copy the “composition, total concept, feel, tone, mood, theme, colors, props, settings, decors, wardrobe and lighting” of his previous work. LaChapelle has worked with Rihanna in the past but he had nothing to do with the “S&M” video, it was directed by Melina Matoukas. The Daily Mail has a shot-for-shot comparison to see just how similar the Rihanna video is to the photography—what do you think? We think it’s similar, but not a total rip-off. Although eight instances of similarity might be too many for one video.
Is it fair to assume that Rihanna’s new Reb’l Fleur perfume ad suggests that if you buy it, you might one day have a really fabulous break with reality? One spritz of RiRi’s smell water and you’ll find yourself frolicking with bird people, catch glimpses of a deformed man-beast (we’re not the only ones that see those super long arms, right?) and traveling to the edge of sanity, only to get groped by hot people who may or may not even be there. Hmm, we think we’ve already seen this film, except it started Natalie Portman, had way fewer tiny hats and featured the exact right amount of Mila Kunis.
Rihanna’s new scent might not exactly cause you to imagine you’re growing wings or make you crush your mom’s hand with rage, but it does strike a nice balance between the panting sensuality of, say, Beyonce’s perfume ad, and the outright terror of Lady Gaga’s blood and semen scent. We might even call it perfect, if we weren’t too afraid it would turn us into demonic flamingo ladies.
Sticks & stones may break her bones, but chains and whips are going to get Rihanna deemed too hot for TV, now that Rihanna‘s “S&M” video is banned in 11 countries. “Southern Asian countries immediately banned it, MTV is considering a re-edit, and BBC Radio 1 has vetoed playing it until after 7pm,” the U.K.’s Daily Mirror reports. The steamy video for “S&M”, which features the songstress wearing see-through latex while walking Perez Hilton on a leash, is about “sadomasochist relationship with the press … it isn’t just about a bunch of whips and chains,” according to director Melina Matoukas. Ah, but of course! It’s just art!
Rihanna tweeted about the scandal after a fan expressed concern that the video would have to be heavily edited for TV. “MTV approved it before hand! So nope,” the flame-haired star reassured them. We hope the drama doesn’t throw RiRi her game, since the announcement just came that Rihanna and Drake will perform at the Grammys together. We personally think the video is more silly than sultry (ice cream covered in gemstones? ball-gags for the press? Adorbs!), but we guess we do live in a country that produced such gems as Madonna‘s “Human Nature” video or Madonna’s “Erotica” video, or…well, anything else Madonna did between 1991 and 1996. So what do you think? Is S&M really that offensive, or is this just Beyonce‘s perfurme commercial scandal all over again? As far as we’re concerned Rihanna could tap dance naked through Times Square and we wouldn’t do anything but applaud, but maybe that’s just us?