Movie stars, pop stars, and media darlings (this is what we’ve taken to calling reality stars with no discernible talent) are used to everyone hanging on their every move. We scan tabloids to find out where they bought their man-bracelets. They receive untold riches to show up to an event. Their pregnancies are more celebrated than the Virgin Mary’s. The world revolves around them — so why wouldn’t they believe that they’re the second coming? This attention makes some celebs, like George Clooney and Angelina Jolie, pay it forward — but for others, it turns them into self-absorbed, wholly delusional lunatics.
You wouldn’t believe some of the most un-self-aware, howlingly out-of-touch quotes that our favorite celebrities have given! In a recent New York Times interview, Rob Lowe actually discussed the hardship of being plagued with devastating good looks. Mariah told reporters that, while she admires the skinniness of Ethiopians, she couldn’t deal with all the flies and stuff (!!). And, if you hadn’t heard, Kanye West continues to be a God.
Check out our ten most egotistic, lost-touch-with-reality celeb quotes, ever!
We actually had a scorecard ready to mark how many offensive things Ricky Gervais said at tonight’s Golden Globes, but it seems that he decided to leave the raunch and insults to others. Most of it, at least. Anyway, here are our favorite silly, cute, funny and moving moments from the 69th annual awards show, in semi-chronological order:
» Ricky Gervais said he wasn’t allowed to joke about Mel Gibson, or Jodie Foster’s Beaver. “I haven’t seen it myself; that doesn’t mean it’s not any good.”
» Ricky continued his amusing relationship with Johnny Depp by asking him onstage: “Have you seen The Tourist?” To which Depp answered, “No.”
»Julianne Moore and Rob Lowe very gracefully overcame a TelePrompTer fail. And Downton Abbey’s Elizabeth McGovern tripped UP the stairs. And during one cutaway, we saw Dame Helen Mirren chewing. Thus proving stars’ humanness once again.
» While standing next to Kate Beckinsale, Seth Rogen said, “Hello, I’m Seth Rogen, and I’m currently trying to hide a massive erection. ” And then the camera cut away to a show of Jodie Foster’s kids, for some reason.
» Speaking of kids, daughters seemed to be a big theme of the night. Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy winner Michelle Williams thanked her daughter, Matilda, for putting up with having months of bedtime stories in which “all the princesses were read aloud in a Marilyn Monroe voice.” Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series or Miniseries winner Peter Dinklage thanked his daughter who was home with her first babysitter. Best Director winner Martin Scorsese thanked his daughter, Francesca, for introducing him to the book, The Invention of Hugo Cabret, on which Hugo is based.
Do you remember back in the early days of Twilight, when people who weren’t teenage girls (or those early-adopter Twi-moms) kind of only sheepishly admitted to being Twi-hards? Ancient history. The proof is in the guest list of last night’s black-carpet premiere of Breaking Dawn Part 1. In addition to all the cast of the films, we expected to see a who’s who of young Hollywood, so folks like Ashley Tisdale and Ashley Benson were no surprise. But Ron Artest? That was such a surprise that none of the photographers seem to have snapped him. Other interesting guests included Heather Locklear, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Danica Patrick and Rob Lowe. Even electronic dance musician Kaskade made an appearance. So, were they there for a photo op, or really excited to see Edward and Bella’s wedding? Flip through the pics of these random celebs and let us know what you think.
Nothing gets our mouth watering for chocolate and peanut-y goodness like crazed murderers. We aren’t even kidding! We sincerely love Fun Size Butterfingers more than life itself! Clocking in at 25 minutes and reportedly “the first-ever film produced not by a major studio or filmmaker, but by one of America’s iconic candy brands,” Rob Lowe’s Butterfinger horror film seems to scream “Don’t lay a severed finger on my Butterfinger.” No really, don’t. You’ll get blood all on it.
We understand why this mash-up project should have worked: we love candy, the idea of Rob Lowe as a director and slasher films. But much like if you put actual Butterfingers, Rob Lowe and a supernatural murderer into a blender, the resulting combination is probably going to leave a bad taste in your mouth. Especially if you use Butterfingers BBs. Ew. Rob Lowe and horror movies? Yes. Rob Lowe and Butterfinger? We had a lucid dream about that once. Butterfinger and horror movies? Looks like we’ll have to wait and see. Meanwhile, we’ll get our hopes up for a sweeping Merchant Ivory romance directed by Emilio Estevez and funded by the good people at Nerds Rope.
Remember the Rob Lowe sex tape? No? Well, you’re about to, all for a reasonable price at your local bookstore! Apparently Rob Lowe’s memoir Stories I Only Tell My Friends details the actor’s sordid Brat Pack days, a time when he used MTV as a “home-shopping network, and it’s not beneath me to call up to get the contacts on the sexy dancer in the latest Sting video. I find C-SPAN to be useful in this regard as well. Seeing Oliver North‘s secretary, Fawn Hall, being sworn in during Iran-Contra, I make a note to track her down.” That is the sleaziest, most ’80s sentence we’ve ever read! After Lowe was busted for making his sex tape with an underage girl, Hugh Hefner consoled him, “”You had to do it. The technology existed!” Ugh, Rob, why are you ruining your cute, charming character on Parks & Rec for us? Why? Why?
Rob also talks about all his hard partying with Charlie Sheen, about which he recalls, “Charlie and I compete to see who can play harder, then show up to work and still kick ass. Verdict: Sheen by a nose.” Lowe later describes an incident where his face was attacked by a large parrot on his way to visiting Hotel New Hampshire director Tony Richardson . Nice try Lowe, but you’re going to need a lot more funny stories staring a lot more adorable animal friends for us to get passed this hot mess of a memoir. Don’t even get us started on your dinner date with Roman Polanski and 15 models (yeah, it’s seriously happened too).
With regards to the latter half of Sheen’s statement, Charlie plans to sue if he doesn’t receive his salary for the remainder of this season’s show, and for the whole of the next season. His argument stems from the fact that he feels he was fired wrongfully, and you know what that always means… money. It was during the same interview that Charlie offered a sort-of apology to now ex-costar Jon Cryer, for calling him a ” turncoat, a traitor, a troll“. Apparently, Cryer didn’t offer him any support so he’s mad, which seems to be a permanent condition for him these days. But during the radio interview, he offered an, “I’ll apologize to Jon right now, I was in a mood and I threw that out to somebody. I didn’t know theyÃ¢â‚¬â€well I kinda knew they were gonna print it, yeah I knew they were gonna print it. I confuse myself. It’s a little bit a half apology. An apol. The reason I was upset I didn’t get a text or a phone call or anything saying, “Hey, dude, back off,Ã‚Â I got your back, or you got my back or there’s a back involved’.” And there you have it, Charlie’s addition to the lexicon—”an apol”.
Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen canceled their court date today in hopes of a settlement, but we think the actor’s ex-wife shouldn’t budge. Whatever Mueller’s dependency issues may be, she didn’t wave a machete atop the Live Nation building yesterday before drinking from a bottle labeled “Tiger Blood”—two things any judge would look poorly upon from a violent former convict seeking unmonitored visits with his small children. We’re also guessing the judge won’t like last night’s episode of Charlie Sheen’s Korner, which had him smoking through his nose and complaining about the trolls in his phone. “If you own the home, in which you own the trashcan, you should never have to empty it,” announced Charlie for no apparent reason, suggesting he might need a monitor whether or not the kids are around.
The five stars of The Breakfast Club reunited this weekend for a John Hughes tribute in New York City. Hughes’ death of a heart attack just over one year ago left us a little shaken – even though the teens in his films were a few years older than us, they depicted adolescence in a way we haven’t seen since, and we’re Hughes disciples of the highest order. Not to mention the fact that his trio of high school films, The Breakfast Club, Pretty In Pink, and Sixteen Candles, marked the genesis of The Brat Pack, the group of young actors including Molly Ringwald, Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe and Demi Moore, who were known for starring – and partying – together during the mid 1980s.
So whatever happened to the Brat Pack? Some of them, like Robert Downey, Jr., have found more success now than ever, and others, like say, Mare Winningham, found that their star burned out before it even got to shine. More often than not though, after a dark period called the 1990s, these actors reemerged and found success on television and in movies and most importantly, on Twitter. Journey with us to a land of prom, record stores and fancy cars and see what became of them…
Foolish athletes! Don’t you know who the real stars are?! While the football players did all the work on the field, stars like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, and Ashton Kutcher showed up at the Super Bowl to hog all the attention and bask in the glow of the photographers’ cameras.