by (@shalapitcher)

True Blood Season Finale Leaves Us With 10 Mostly Rhetorical Questions

Eric kills Russell in the True Blood season finale

I’m not the only one who had nightmares and delicious dreams about True Blood all night, right? Season five’s finale was intense. And it totally put to rest our doubts that Alan Ball and company could wrap up all of those crazy plots in one hour. Still, it also left my brain churning with all sorts of questions about what will happen in season six. Departing exec producer Ball answered a bunch of those questions over at TVLine.com last night, and HBO Go has a whole bonus scene that hints at a bit more, but it wouldn’t be True Blood if we could predict everything that’s coming up for Sookie, Eric, Jason and the rest. Here are 10 (mostly rhetorical) queries that kept me up for most of the night.

1. Could Eric get any hotter?
My heart stopped when he swooped in to save Sookie and the fairies from Russell — even though, in typical Eric fashion, he labeled it revenge for his family’s murder more than a heroic deed. He and Nora could have skipped town after that, but his better self drove him to venture back into the Authority to save the day. Swoon.

Jason and Eric on True Blood
2. Also, are we done with serious Eric and back to more of his playful side?
His interactions with Jason reminded us of why we fell for the dangerous vamp back when he was mostly a villain. Leave the dreary stuff for other vamps!
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by (@shalapitcher)

True Blood‘s Deborah Ann Woll Hints At Jessica And Hoyt’s Future

Is it really Salome’s blood that makes everyone hallucinate Lilith? What’s going to happen to Emma? Why does everyone keep trusting Bill with important things? Are we finally done with that distracting Ifrit story line? Last night’s episode of True Blood left us with a whole lot of questions, including this one: Will Hoyt survive being drugged and fed to the hate-group pigs? When Deborah Ann Woll (Jessica) stopped by Big Morning Buzz Live this morning, we hoped she would give us a tiny clue. Maybe Jessica will heal him with her blood and fall in love with him again, now that he’s saved her life and she got all that wild-child stuff out of her system?

“We don’t know what Hoyt’s fate is as of last night,” she teased. (Wait, Deborah, we don’t know, but YOU do.) But pressed to speculate about her character’s future with her ex (played by Jim Parrack), she said, “I think it was pretty clear the other night: I think she has a lot of care for him but the love is gone. I really love that the writers allowed that to happen.”
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by (@shalapitcher)

True Blood‘s Jason Stackhouse Is Our One True Hero

Ryan Kwanten and Anna Paquin in True Blood
Am I the only one who started really wishing I had an older brother while watching last night’s True Blood? Jason (Ryan Kwanten) gave Sookie (Anna Paquin) exactly the talk she’s been needing: “You are who you are because you have Mama and Daddy inside you.” (And this after she accidentally zapped him, but of course he cheerfully informed her, “I’m all right; you got me in the head!”) Last week, too, he gave his li’l sis a gentle speech about how he always thought he was to blame for their parents death and was forever grateful that she never blamed him. This is all cementing my theory that Jason is the most emotionally evolved character in the entire series. While Sookie and Bill have become more self-involved thanks to their suffering, Lafayette still wants to escape his reality at any opportunity, Tara can’t let go of her wretched temper, Sam still wants to play foolish hero, Jessica can’t control her wild impulses and Eric is making the tiniest baby steps toward becoming a compassionate vampire, Jason’s been actually building upon five seasons of life lessons. Here’s the evidence.

He accepts supernatural forces enough to trust them to find his parents’ killer. Early Jason never would have tried any fairy hand-holding.
True Blood

Searching for his parents’ killer actually seems like a good mission. Better than saving an entire town of inbred werepanthers or crusading against vampires.
Jason True Blood
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by (@shalapitcher)

True Blood‘s 5 Best V Trips (That Are Less Traumatic Than Last Night’s)

Alexander Skarsgard and Lucy Griffiths on True Blood

I was bouncing up and down with Glee to see Bill riding piggyback on Eric as they joined Russell Edgington and the Council on their Lilith-blood trip through Bourbon Street. Weee! Another hilarious True Blood drug scene! And then, my hopes were quickly dashed as the scene in the karaoke party unfolded. No happy fun times there. In order to heal from those traumatic scenes today, I decided to look back at the most blissful of V trips and fairy-blood rolls from seasons past. I know drugs are bad, but hell, if I could join Eric on a bed in the middle of a snowy field, you wouldn’t be able to stop me.

5. Andy Bellefleur’s super strength (season 4)

Sheriff Bellefleur is probably the best example of why not to drink vampire blood (aside from Jason’s, er, difficulty in season 1). He was a pretty uncontrollable addict for a while there. But the above scene, when he displayed superhuman strength to lend Holly a hand with her furniture, might have been the moment the bumbling sheriff won the heart of Bon Temps’ friendly witch.

4. Jason and Amy romp through a field (season 1)
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by (@shalapitcher)

True Blood Is Naked-er Than Ever: An Episode In 8 Nudes And One Sweatsuit

Ryan Kwanten as Jason Stackhouse in True Blood

Oh, thank you, HBO. For bringing True Blood back so quickly for season five after a too short season four, and for proving time and time again that any story worth telling is a story worth telling with at least one fully nude character in the scene. Last night’s season premiere had, by our count seven actors naked or mostly naked — and the sheer variety of situations that called for them to shed their clothing was quite impressive. The only downside: For some reason Joe Manganiello’s Alcide remained clothed for his two scenes. Maybe, with Magic Mike coming in a few weeks, he feared over-exposure of his abs? Joe, let assure you that this is impossible. Anyway, we thought all those nekkid bodies would provide an excellent framework for discussing the episode:

1. Jason Stackhouse answers the door to Reverend Newland completely naked, for no apparent reason. It did nicely contrast how confident he is with his looks, even after everything that’s happened to him, with how completely vulnerable he was once the just-turned vampire Newland glamoured him into inviting him in and then confessed his love. Then, adorably, covered in what looks like his grandma’s blanket, he tells the former anti-vampire crusader: “This dog don’t bark that way.”

2. A female werewolf changes into her (naked) human form to confront Sam about killing her pack master Marcus. She’s just as threatening as when she’s covered in fur. Sam chooses this odd moment to be ignorant of werewolf politics and takes the blame for Alcide.

3. After flying off as an owl, Sam arrives at Luna’s house and, of course is naked as he meets Emma and Luna on their doorstep. Inappropriate!

We interrupt these nude scenes for one opposite of nude scene: Pam in a Walmart sweatsuit. For all her bravado, the fact that she was willing to don that thing to be buried alive and turn Tara says so much about her love for Eric.

Kristin Bauer van Straten as Pam on True Blood

4. How many times on this show have we seen Sookie take a shower? A lot of times. This time was a real tear-jerker as she flashed back to young Tara saving her from school bullies. Sookie says she’s tired of supes interfering in her life, but man, she is hazardous to all the mortals in her life, too. This was a good way to remind us that, though to us she may have been a whiny, treacherous and super-annoying character whose death we maybe hoped for a little too hard, she apparently once had some redeeming qualities to make her deserving of Sookie’s and Lafayette’s love.
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The Top 30 Hottest Aussie Exports

TheFABlife could think of no more appropriate and enjoyable way to celebrate Australia Day than to celebrate the sexiest actors, musicians and models from Down Under. From Miranda Kerr‘s enviable bikini bod to Elle Macpherson‘s eternal youth to Hugh “Wolverine” Jackman‘s abs — Australia’s got a lot to offer. So throw another shrimp on the barbie (too easy?), sit back and salivate over the Top 30 Hottest Aussie exports. [Photos: Splash News Online, Getty Images]

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