While we’re not exactly foaming at the mouth to help these goons achieve their pursuit of 15 more minutes of fame, we are loo-ooo-ooving the craziness Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are coming up with to try to be relevant. Like their claims that they spent $10 million dollars believing the Mayan Apocalypse was drawing near, for example. “We made and spent at least 10 million dollars,” Spencer allegedly told OK! Magazine. “The thing is, we heard that the planet was going to end in 2012. We thought, we have got to spend this money before the asteroid hits.” Of course, Speidi’s End Times shopping spree story is probably slightly less humiliating than the actual story, which is probably that they spent it for no reason. They just dumb. No cataclysmic world catastrophe needed!
Of course, asteroid panic isn’t the only bizarre thing these two claim to be up to. As you might recall, earlier in January Pratt claimed that someone had “stolen” his phone and threatened to leak “intimate photos” of Montag. Haha, okay. Sure, guys! Fortunately that did not happen, perhaps because we already saw a number of Heidi “intimate photos” in Playboy…three years ago. “Here’s some advice, definitely do not spend your money thinking asteroids are coming. But the world didn’t end,” Pratt sighed to OK! “I would give my friends $15,000 for their birthday. Just cash. I would buy people cars. Every valet I met got a couple of hundred pounds tip. I would pay people $200 just to open doors for us.” On the other hand, if Speidi actually did spend all their cash in some kind of End of the World frenzy, that would explain why they are trying to force us to care again. Haha, sorry guys! The gig is up! We will always love and cherish Heidi’s “Body Language,” and this is it as far as you two are concerned.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
The dreaded Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have been back in the spot light for about six seconds, and they’re already up to their pathetic attention-getting attempts that are about to make us burst a blood-vessel with rage. Trust us, we’d rather not be writing about them, but it’s a slow news day and we have a quota to fill. Their return to reality TV with Britain’s Celebrity Big Brother prompted us to do a retrospective of the pair’s low-lights last week, and now Spencer is clearly pretending that someone “stole” his phone is threatening to leak “intimate” photos of Heidi. But from what we’ve seen, it’s stuff like her doing laundry and drying her nails. Not really the kind of intimate that most people have in mind.
Spencer was supposed to have his phone taken away as he entered the BB compound, but he was seen on live feeds of the show using the device. “Listen, tweeps, keep calm and carry on. This is perfectly explainable. I have been allowed to tweet as a plot device in the season,” he (or somebody…) posted to his feed soon after. And that’s when all of the mysterious “thievery” and “leaks” and other things in quotations started to occur. “Just a taste of what’s on my phone,” reads the caption on a photo of a perfectly safe-for-work shot of Heidi wish a fresh manicure. “Surely, the tabloids would have a field day with the contents of my phone, their cup o’ tea…. Thanks for the concern. No hacking here. Actually it’s good I found my phone. Contacts, pictures, all sorts of things some1 might want.”
The two-headed monster of reality TV, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, are back in the biz — but their (many) haters on this side of the Atlantic can breathe a sigh of relief for now, since they’re making their return in the U.K.’s Celebrity Big Brother. For a few days now, we were all wondering whether the Hills couple was pulling some kind of stunt, since their tour through London was suspiciously well-documented by the paps. Then they made their big plans official as they entered the BB house last night. “It’s going to be hard because I really don’t like other people,” Pratt said in a taped interview, per Us Weekly. “I’m ready to get in there. I’m ready to do battle. It’s on.”
It’s not that surprising that Speidi are returning to the reality-TV game, especially after they told Access Hollywood last year that they’d squandered $1 million and were living in a place owned by Spencer’s family to save money.
In case you have selective amnesia, here are some other highlights from the illustrious career of Speidi:
- After launching her career as Lauren Conrad’s roommate on The Hills, Heidi stole the show once she hooked up with Spencer, who quickly became LC’s enemy.
- While on the show, the couple eloped in a stunt designed for the tabloids. That actually turned out not to be a legal union, so they got married in a huge ceremony on The Hills.
- Spencer helped finance Heidi’s “singing” career, which peaked when she sang her single, “Body Language,” at the Miss Universe pageant in 2009.
It’s safe to say the best part of Halloween is checking out everyone’s costumes, especially celebrities — they’ve got mountains of money, they dress up for a living, they should really be the best at this, right? Unfortunately, some celebs are blessed with both an overabundance of creativity and a lack of good decision-making skills, and there’s a fine line between really great and successful costumes and weird, played out and awful ones. Between Aaron Carter‘s pimp suit (played out and weird for a 14-year-old) and Perez Hilton‘s interpretation of Lady Gaga (weird and awful) there’s no shortage of odd getups. Here are 20 that probably should have never, ever happened.
[Photo: Getty Images]
OK, so Jason Bateman and Olivia Wilde’s fish-mouth kiss happened while filming The Longest Week in Brooklyn today, rather than, say, during a romantic date to the aquarium. That being said, that is truly one awkward lip lock. Are we all supposed to be opening our jaws that wide? Have we been doing it wrong this entire time? While we might personally prefer to do our weird, uncomfortable smooching in the privacy of our own homes, we do enjoy cringing at awkward PDAs, provided there are famous peeps involved. With that in mind, please enjoy some of our favorite awkward celeb PDAs. You know they did.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Oh, that hindsight! It sure is 20/20, as former Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are finding out. After all the drama, posed paparazzi pics, fake appendages and Hermes bags, the batty blonds are now broke, unemployed and living with Spencer’s parents in Santa Barbara. They are also surprisingly candid and frank about the mess their antics have landed them in, antics that at one time made them some of the most famous — and loathed — people in America.
In an interview with The Daily Beast, Speidi (ugh, remember how we all bought into that?) spoke words of caution for Snooki and the Snookis of tomorrow. Says Pratt, “What we learned is: You can be too famous.” Other fascinating revelations from the pair:
- Their divorce was completely fake (duh.) “We’ve never even been apart,” says Heidi.
- They blew all their money on keeping up appearances. Heidi’s music, uh, career, cost them $2 million when all was said and done. “Everything we were doing, we were buying props,” says Spencer. “I bought a big blue monster truck just to drive it on The Hills for an episode. Never drove it again.”
- Heidi admits she foolishly thought she could build the same personal brand as Kim Kardashian. She says, “I thought I had that potential. My ego got too big. To think I could be someone like that when I was the most hated girl ever.”
- They claim they were mistreated by The Hills production team. Heidi: “I would film with Spencer and then I would film with Audrina. She would get treated like Meryl Streep and we would get treated like the trash.”
- Heidi regrets all her plastic surgery (Gurl, you were so pretty before!) and has completely cut herself off from her family.
- When you don’t have to listening to his gravely dude-brah voice, Spencer comes across as particularly astute. For example, this quote: “This isn’t a business. That was the big thing I didn’t get: Reality TV is not a career. Anyone who says, ‘Oh, you can have a career in reality’—that is a lie.”
Heidi is currently on VH1′s Famous Foods (apparently she is still attempting the whole ‘career in reality’ thing) while Spencer sits at home with his crystal collection. The entire interview is worth a read — especially if you aspire to be the next big star of Pawn Shoppin’ For Love: All-Stars.
Just because Heidi Montag blew millions on her singing career doesn’t mean she’s going to let a little thing like constant failure stop her dreams. “I spent $2 million on my music career, and it didn’t happen for me, and now I have this opportunity,” Heidi explained to RadarOnline. First off, Spencer Pratt teams up with Waka Flocka Flame, who despite all appearances is an actual successful recording artist. As of that wasn’t bizarre enough, Heidi brags that she’ll be working with Eric Nolan Grant, a jazz singer formerly of The O’Jays and a Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame Inductee. The man sang “Love Train” and this is what he’s reduced to!
As for Flocka Flame himself, he’s besties with Gucci Mane, and has collaborated with Lil’ Jon, Wiz Khalifa and a host of other real talent, so we can’t imagine his services come cheap. Or maybe he’s just brushing up for his reality show with Gucci Mane? “Spencer is going into the studio with Waka Flocka Flame, and I requested that his mother Deb Antney meet with me and manage me, because she is just fabulous,” Heidi gushed. We hope that new Maybach was worth the hours of hyena cackles you’re going to have to put up with now, Ms. Antney. “I want to make my own niche in the music world, that’s just Heidi,” Montag fantasizes. “It could be a Pink meets Britney Spears.” Hmm, two artist most popular in 2002 who never really moved on to anything more musically complex? Seems just about right for our girl.
Just when you thought their time in the spotlight had come to a beautiful end, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are finding new ways to turn the cameras on themselves yet again. Radar Online announced that Montag is in talks to appear on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills next season. Spencer told Radar he’s hoping they’d both get air time and says “We would move to Beverly Hills in a heartbeat. We would be psyched if this happened for us.” The show will have a blonde hole to fill (ew) since it was announced that Camille Grammer will not be returning to the series, and Montag is meeting with producers this week to discuss her possibilities.
As much as we wish this pair would fade into oblivion, you just know they would boost the ratings of this show, which makes us nervous that this will actually happen. Heidi has to pay off their debts and Spencer’s crystal collection somehow.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Oh my god. Suddenly it all makes sense. We take it all back. The blow-up doll comments, the beach ball boobs slams and thatÃ‚Â time we laughed when her face fell off. It turns out, Heidi Montag did it all for love. At least that’s what her doctor’s “close friend” is blabbing to Radar Online. According to the site, Heidi had a hopeless crush on her late plastic surgeon Frank Ryan, who died in a car accident this August. The revelation comes just days after the former Hills star accused Dr. Ryan of misleading her into getting ten surgeries in one day. Maybe all she wanted was one magical day with Dr. Ryan….*swoon*
“I believe she had a crush on him,” Dr. Ryan’s friend Dawn DaLuise said in an interview to Radar.Ã‚Â ”I believe she was romantically obsessed with him… she saw him as a night in shining armor.” DaLuise also challenges Heidi’s claim that Dr. Ryan wanted her to be his personal Barbie Doll. According to her, it was the other way around.Ã‚Â ”He sent texts and emails to friends saying that she wanted to be a Barbie, she wanted to look exactly like a Barbie. He presented why he didn’t think it was a good idea.”
This raises the age old question: did she love him because of his plastic surgery skills, or did she get plastic surgery because she loved him? Or is this all crap? It’s probably that last one. But let’s pretend it’s not. Suddenly Heidi’s terrifying body transformation seems like a charming romantic comedy come to life! Sort of.
It’s a classic: Heidi was too shy (and too married) to ask him out, so she kept making other excuses to see him. A boob job here, a tummy tuck there. He won’t suspect anything. But after the anesthesia knocked her out, Heidi’s dreams were filled with visions of Dr. Frank.Ã‚Â Maybe that whole divorce with Spencer was real after all, and she was going to leave him for Dr. Ryan. Didn’t they reunite right after the doctor’s untimely death?
We have done it. We have cracked The Speidi Code. Or maybe there’s a simpler answer.
With Heidi Montag‘s marriage to Spencer Pratt renewed and no longer a news angle, everyone’s favorite Frankenstein is once more repenting for her cosmetic crimes. “I wouldn’t do it again,” she told Entertainment Tonight about the 10 surgical enhancements she enjoyed earlier this year. Heidi says she regrets her supermega-boobs (technical term) the most, ironic considering she scoured Europe to find someone willing to give her an even ampler bosom last May. “It’s impossible to work out with these boobs,” Heidi said between sobs in August.
As the dead can’t talk back, Heidi’s blaming her late enabler, Dr. Frank Ryan, whom she called “the most amazing person I have ever known…an angel” when he died in August (a week before she announced it was impossible to work out with those boobs), for her poor choices. “It was a lot harder than I was led on by my doctor…I didn’t know how excessive it really was.” Guess she still hasn’t forgive Ryan for taking the secrets of her giganta-gazangas (again, these are technical terms) with him on his ill-fated, tweet-tainted final drive.
[Photo: Getty Images]