True Blood is back for its final season, and we are, yet again, hooked. It’s a gore fest we just can’t avert our eyes from — with all sorts of ghouls wreaking havoc and tearing humans to bloody shreds, True Blood definitely does not shy away from wanton violence. Vampires, werewolves, demigods and witches are all terrifying as can be in Bon Temps, Louisiana, so we’ve decided to find out what the scariest True Blood characters look like when they’re not being blood-suckingly villainous. You know, to help us (and you) sleep at night.
Back when NBC first announced its plans to air a live telecast of The Sound of Music, starring the charming but novice actress Carrie Underwood, there was a collective gasp in our office — except from me. I’m pretty sure that before tonight, I was the only person in the known universe who had never seen the Julie Andrews movie. So, while everyone else either avoided the show entirely or spent the evening begrudgingly comparing it to their childhood favorite, I took it upon myself to watch with unbiased eyes. And then proceeded to remember why it is that I never sat through the 1965 film in the first place. In case you’re deciding whether to cue up that DVR, here’s my take on the good, the bad and the snoozy of The Sound of Music Live:
While the rest of us were jamming carrot sticks up our nose and arguing about which Power Ranger was the coolest (Red, obvs), 11 year-old Anna Paquin was winning Oscars. And now 20 years later, she’s getting naked with her super hot vampire husband/co-star Stephen Moyer on True Blood. So yeah, it’s safe to say that Anna Paquin is doing it very right, and has been for quite some time.
Do I have a Jason-size concussion, or have we gone a full three episodes into this season of True Blood without one sex scene? This is very disturbing, guys. I thought for sure Eric would at least get it on with the governor’s daughter, just for a fun interlude between vampire rights crises, but no such luck. We’ll have to make do with that super-charged scene of him licking his own blood off her finger. That Miss Willa Burrell is but one of the many new characters we can’t tell whether to trust or not — was she going to lick Eric’s blood to get the power to escape, or just for sexytimes? While we wait for the mysteries of Ben Flynn, the Vampire Unity kids and Niall to slowwwwly unravel, let’s look back at the WTF-ery of the episode.
1. Bill’s on fire, AGAIN. “You’re not god, Bill. You’re just an a–hole,” Sookie tells him later in the episode. Ha! He’s not quite as invincible as he thought, but still quite scary.
So, yeah, this vampire-human war as metaphor for civil rights theme has gotten beyond heavy handed on True Blood, hasn’t it? Remember when the battle was all about Jason going to sleepaway camp with Reverend Steve Newlin and his hot wife? But to make up for it, this week’s episode did give us a few skin-crawling scenes that it is our pleasure to relive with you right now…
Well, the sixth season of True Blood premiered last night, and as usual, we were left scratching our heads. Is Billith a monster or a really sweet dad? Are werewolves the worst? What’s up with Andy Bellefluer’s offspring? How come we get to see all these ladies full frontal, but Alcide is so tastefully covered? Here, to recap all of the crazy, pantsless glory of the episode, we present to you the 5 most WTF moments of the night. (And for the stars’ memories of their most WTF scenes, watch the video above!)
One of the sexiest shows on TV is HBO’s True Blood and everyone knows why: those sex scenes! The Gossip Table has learned that one actor gets extremely into his work. Noah Levy reports that Stephen Moyer, who portrays vampire Bill Compton, gets aroused while filming sex scenes. That’s right, all those times he bedding Sookie, he’s really (thinking about) going at it. But that’s fine, considering Anna Paquin is his wife. But does Moyer also share the same passion for his gay sex scenes?
Which celebrity’s dog is wreaking mayhem? The Gossip Table has the scoop!
Since that other vampire baby is currently dealing with her parents’ de facto trial separation (ohhhhh, can that be the plot of the fifth Twilight book? Which we assume will be called Around Brunch Time? That would certainly be a twist, wouldn’t it?), let’s all dedicate our supernatural squeeing to Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer‘s brand-new baby twins! “We can confirm that Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer recently welcomed their twins into the world,” the reps for the True Blood costars told Us Magazine this afternoon. “The babies were born a few weeks early, but are in good health and both Mom and Dad are overjoyed.” No word as to whether Anna Paquin had to be turned into one of the undead in order to avoid an untimely death during vampire childbirth, but hey, we all know how it works. It’s just undead science!
The no-doubt adorable vamp-babies are Paquin’s first children, while Moyer has two kids from previous relationships. Though the world has known about the incoming Paquin-Moyers since April, the names and sexes of the newborns have yet to be announced. Fortunately for Anna and Stephen, Sookie is technically a unisex name. Bill, not so much…
[Photo: Getty Images]
I’m not the only one who had nightmares and delicious dreams about True Blood all night, right? Season five’s finale was intense. And it totally put to rest our doubts that Alan Ball and company could wrap up all of those crazy plots in one hour. Still, it also left my brain churning with all sorts of questions about what will happen in season six. Departing exec producer Ball answered a bunch of those questions over at TVLine.com last night, and HBO Go has a whole bonus scene that hints at a bit more, but it wouldn’t be True Blood if we could predict everything that’s coming up for Sookie, Eric, Jason and the rest. Here are 10 (mostly rhetorical) queries that kept me up for most of the night.
1. Could Eric get any hotter?
My heart stopped when he swooped in to save Sookie and the fairies from Russell — even though, in typical Eric fashion, he labeled it revenge for his family’s murder more than a heroic deed. He and Nora could have skipped town after that, but his better self drove him to venture back into the Authority to save the day. Swoon.
2. Also, are we done with serious Eric and back to more of his playful side?
His interactions with Jason reminded us of why we fell for the dangerous vamp back when he was mostly a villain. Leave the dreary stuff for other vamps!
Oh, thank you, HBO. For bringing True Blood back so quickly for season five after a too short season four, and for proving time and time again that any story worth telling is a story worth telling with at least one fully nude character in the scene. Last night’s season premiere had, by our count seven actors naked or mostly naked — and the sheer variety of situations that called for them to shed their clothing was quite impressive. The only downside: For some reason Joe Manganiello’s Alcide remained clothed for his two scenes. Maybe, with Magic Mike coming in a few weeks, he feared over-exposure of his abs? Joe, let assure you that this is impossible. Anyway, we thought all those nekkid bodies would provide an excellent framework for discussing the episode:
1. Jason Stackhouse answers the door to Reverend Newland completely naked, for no apparent reason. It did nicely contrast how confident he is with his looks, even after everything that’s happened to him, with how completely vulnerable he was once the just-turned vampire Newland glamoured him into inviting him in and then confessed his love. Then, adorably, covered in what looks like his grandma’s blanket, he tells the former anti-vampire crusader: “This dog don’t bark that way.”
2. A female werewolf changes into her (naked) human form to confront Sam about killing her pack master Marcus. She’s just as threatening as when she’s covered in fur. Sam chooses this odd moment to be ignorant of werewolf politics and takes the blame for Alcide.
3. After flying off as an owl, Sam arrives at Luna’s house and, of course is naked as he meets Emma and Luna on their doorstep. Inappropriate!
We interrupt these nude scenes for one opposite of nude scene: Pam in a Walmart sweatsuit. For all her bravado, the fact that she was willing to don that thing to be buried alive and turn Tara says so much about her love for Eric.
4. How many times on this show have we seen Sookie take a shower? A lot of times. This time was a real tear-jerker as she flashed back to young Tara saving her from school bullies. Sookie says she’s tired of supes interfering in her life, but man, she is hazardous to all the mortals in her life, too. This was a good way to remind us that, though to us she may have been a whiny, treacherous and super-annoying character whose death we maybe hoped for a little too hard, she apparently once had some redeeming qualities to make her deserving of Sookie’s and Lafayette’s love.