by (@hallekiefer)

Kim Kardashian And Kris Humphries Join The Short Marriage Club

Looks like Kim Kardashian’s divorce from Kris Humphries is now official. “After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage,” Kim said in a statement to E! News. “I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.” Meanwhile, new hubby Kris sounds a lot less thrilled about the announcement, saying in a statement, “I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce … I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.” They still had that new marriage smell, too!

While Kim and Kris might be ready to sign those divorce papers only 72 days after their nuptials, they are nowhere near the first celebrity couple to bail out of their wedded bliss just weeks or months after walking down the aisle. From Mario Lopez to Britney Spears, Liz Taylor to Lisa Marie Presley, let’s look back at our favorite shortest Hollywood marriages:

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Tommy Lee Claims Sea World Bad-Touches The Whales

Ever since we saw The Cove, we’ve been pretty down on places like Sea World for the way they treat sea animals in captivity. Turns out Tommy Lee is pretty upset with Sea World too, but for way different reasons that are fascinating and slightly NSFWW (that’s “Not Safe For Whale Work”).

If you’ll recall, an Orca named Tilikum killed a trainer and two other people at Sea World in Orlando, and though the whale is no longer used for entertainment at the park, he is kept in captivity to inseminate other whales. Lee, in conjunction with PETA, fired off a letter to the President of Sea World, writing “We understand that you refuse to release this frustrated whale because he is your chief sperm bank and we know … that the way you get his sperm is by having someone get into the pool and masturbate him with a cow’s vagina filled with hot water. Even during my wildest days with Mötley Crüe, I never could’ve imagined something so sick and twisted.”

We can think of one sick and twisted thing Mötley Crüe would do involving groupies and egg burritos, but that’s not the point.  Sea World denies the claims, saying “Mr. Lee would be wise to spend more time checking his facts.” They also deny that cow vagina is used, so we’re really sorry to whoever it is on the Sea World PR team that was tasked with this story today. “Hard day at work today honey?” “The worst! Stupid Tommy Lee is giving away all our cow-vagina-as-whale-masturbation-aid secrets, so that was a fire that needed putting out. Pass the potatoes.” Check out Lee’s entire graphic, impassioned letter after the jump. Also, please share this story on Twitter by using the hashtag #whalefail, because it would be a tragedy if someone didn’t.

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EXCLUSIVE: Pamela Anderson “Very Happy” With New Beau

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Pam Anderson has been through her share of boyfriends and ex-husbands, famously marrying and divorcing Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, and Rick Salomon, but now, friends say Pam is in good hands with her new surfer beau, Jamie Padgett.

Pam’s pal, porn legend Ron Jeremy, tells theFABlife: “She’s very happy. He’s healthy and into health foods. All her friends really like him.” Ron thinks this relationship will work because “Pam is ready” and Jamie’s “not in Hollywood,” which Ron thinks was the cause of the failure of her three previous marriages.

The third time wasn’t the charm, but maybe the fourth?!

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Strip Club Inferno

Those strippers over at the Body Shop are smokin’ hot – literally! Luckily none of the exotic dancers at the famous Hollywood, CA strip joint had to stop mid-lapdance to stop, drop, and roll when a fire broke out early this morning.

The fire was reported at 6:46 this morning, hours after the club had closed for the night, and luckily was out by 7:43 am and resulted in no injuries and just scratches and cuts on two brave firefighters.

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Is Daisy De La Hoya Rocking Tommy Lee’s Love?

Rock Of Love 2‘s Daisy De La Hoya claims she’s “just friends” with Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, but, according to E!, their friendship might have some hardcore benefits. If these two really are getting it on, it might be a good idea for Lee to stop living with amicable ex Pamela Anderson. You wouldn’t want the ladies to bond over Bret Michaels. [E!]

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#9: The Pamela Anderson And Tommy Lee Sex Tape

Just as it’s hard to imagine what life was like before the Internet, it’s hard to imagine what the Internet was like before it was full of celebrity sex tapes. In 1997, IEG Entertainment offered the world downloadable copies of Baywatch bombshell Pamela Anderson and Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee celebrating their whirlwind 1995 marriage in a series of enthusiastic, onscreen sexual encounters.

As a nation marveled at the larger-than-life pairs that God and plastic surgeons had given the larger-than-life pair, a sleazy precedent was created: from that day forward, no celebrity’s PC or cell phone would be safe from hump-hungry hackers. And for all their outrage and legal action against those who profited from their purloined sexploits, no one benefited more from the tape’s release than Pam and Tom, whose name recognition skyrocketed in the months to come. Eventually, enterprising entertainers like Dustin Diamond and Chyna would actually provide their own erotic home videos to producers, in hopes of similarly profiting from a complete loss of dignity.

Celebrity-sex-tape culture has become so prevalent that Anderson went on to marry both Rick Salomon and Kid Rock, who appeared in pornographic romps of their own, with Paris Hilton and Creed’s Scott Stapp, respectively. Sounds like Pam has a type.